Well to cut a long story short, im 18 and im unable to get an erection when i come to having sex, 1st girl, it wouldnt come up at all....was embarsing...so i left...2nd girl was only semi erect, so shagged her like that, i didnt find it satisfying, and i dont think she did....i masterbate once a day...sometimes 2, is this the problem?? or is it cos i am not confident?? (deep down? i feel it on the outside)
Any help will be much aprectiated, as it is embaressing and annoying thanks
Masturbation is not your problem. Unless you wear yourself totally out, like having 5 orgasms the afternoon before your evening date
If you respond "normally"....that is, at your age, you get a ROCK HARD erection when you masturbate and it doesn't go soft until couple minutes after you ejaculate.....
then yes, it is only your confidence.
I was 17 and had too much to drink and accepted the proposition of a 45-50 year-old woman. I wasn't so attracted to this woman, but I was very curious about sex. Well, either from too much booze or from being scared (and probably little of both) I couldn't get it up. And she made fun of me to everybody around. I tried a handful of times with another woman who was older than me when I was 19.... she was 24 and very pretty and had been married twice already. I was scared that I couldn't please her, so that didn't work, either. I felt lower than a whale's belly.
It took me about 50 tries with my girl friend when I was 19 to get to the place where I was confident enough to complete it with her. I was very fortunate to have a girl who wasn't experienced, either, not much more than me, and we were just really happy with being together and exploring this whole thing. It started to work really well. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, we did it about 3-4 times a day.....
Phew...i thought i was broken or somthing...sounds like im not the only one...which i thought i was...thanks for the help...i guess ill just have to keep trying...my Girl friend was very understanding....and started crying when i got all ****** at my self...she said it was ok etc etc....any way i can get my confidence up with trying again and again?? and yes i stay hard for a while once ive finished...thanks
You're not alone - all of us have gone through some of that anxiety and lil man not getting all hard. Here's the deal...if he gets totally hard for you when you masturbate....then nothing is wrong. Two things are probably happening. 1) Nerves - we wanna do it right....all the time, and we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the man and be confident all the time. 2) My guess is that now you''ve had some "issues" with it...you're more nervous and more worried and that'll only make it worse. Relax, enjoy the moment. do lots of foreplay, focus on HER and forget about your penis! The more pressure you put on yourself to make sure its right..the more trouble you may have. SO, relax man - just enjoy it!
Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-16-2008 at 10:42 PM.
This is really the best advice we can give you, I think. Your girl will enjoy you regardless, she will like the sights and smells of your body, and your touches and kisses and maybe you can give her some oral sex and orgasms
through other means, too....
If you can forget that you even have a penis....and focus only on her pleasure...you'll be surprised at how you respond. But the more you focus on making it work , worrying if it will or getting nervous if it doesn't respond right away...you'll get stuck in that "oh crap failure" again cycle. You'll be fine buddy - just relax!
Thanks for the advice guys, i thought i was very confident when we started, and thought it may of been deep down, but come to think of it, i do remember having that thought in my head, next time ill just forget about my penis, on focus on her...it should come up by its self then, right?? cos the thing is, now im single i got girls wanted to do the deed, and i have to turn them down as im nervouse....but i think ill practice on these, and when i get a GF every thing will go well lol (im not a man *****, and i will have safe sex, you can count on that, and ive been told im a good looking dude, and av a great personality...) soooo ill see how its goes lol thanks chaps
Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-16-2008 at 10:43 PM.
Reason: Terminology. Vulgar language is not allowed, neither is trying to disguise it.