Hey John Smith.
As a consolation, I don't think any
guys like using condoms. For me, and probably for others, there is an almost total loss of sensitivity. Incidentally, I am uncircumcised. As well, my partner was so pleased when we started using the pill -- she appreciated the difference immediately.
That said, I'm interested in your comments:
1. "its an almost instant erection killer." That indicates more than a physical problem. It has never happened to me after rolling on a condom.
2. "I have not ejaculated using a condom since probably I was about 17." Again, that indicates more than a physical problem. I have always ejaculated when using a condom.
3. "Probably relevant but an aside issue is I have the same problem with oral." If you mean that you can't ejaculate with oral sex, it is
a side issue and probably not relevant. Inability to climax during oral sex is more common than you might think. I have never done it.
4. "I'm now 38". "Hit 40 this year". Is there something wrong with my
mathematics or yours
John Smith, I wish you well. I believe that your problem is minor -- although you might not think so at this time. It will pass.
Enjoy yourself and leave the worrying to others.