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Old 01-09-2010, 03:36 AM   #1
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My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masturbating

My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Not exagerating, we probably have not made love over 12 times in the whole 9 years. We have not made love at all in 2 years. He is a wonderful husband and treats me like a queen and is a wonderful step father to my children. I adopted his child from his first marriage. We are a very close family. Everytime I talk to him about it, he says that he absolutely has no sex drive what so ever. He says that you could put miss america nude in front of him and that it would not phase him what so ever. He feels if I have to make him arroused that it is being disrespectful to me. I have lived with this because I have a whole lot of trust in him and have never ever suspected infidility. Tonight, I caught him masterbating on the couch, he was not watching porn, but Mariah Carey was on a TV show. I was devestated. He does not know that I caught him. Please give me some advice as how to handle this situation.

 
Old 01-09-2010, 04:36 AM   #2
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Re: Masturbation and Marriage

Hey Plague.

Eventually you will have to talk to your husband about this but, for now, let it rest. Your devastation will subside. You know that you love him; you know that you love your family. You are the only person who can deal with your situation: no one else can tell you what to do.

The long-term future is more important than one isolated incident. I'm not trying to minimise your feelings; I am giving you some perspective.

Is your husband on any sort of medication?

My best wishes.
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Old 01-09-2010, 06:01 AM   #3
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Re: Masturbation and Marriage

This is plague, Thanks for the advice about my problem. I appreciate your perspective on the situation. I will work hard to get over the devistation.

 
Old 01-09-2010, 08:01 AM   #4
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Re: Masturbation and Marriage

If his sex drive is really that low, he has a medical problem.
That being said, I appreciate how much it must hurt, that his one orgasm a year went to Mariah, and not to you. My heart goes out to you.

 
Old 01-10-2010, 12:58 PM   #5
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

Quote:
Originally Posted by plague View Post
My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Not exagerating, we probably have not made love over 12 times in the whole 9 years. We have not made love at all in 2 years. He is a wonderful husband and treats me like a queen and is a wonderful step father to my children. I adopted his child from his first marriage. We are a very close family. Everytime I talk to him about it, he says that he absolutely has no sex drive what so ever. He says that you could put miss america nude in front of him and that it would not phase him what so ever. He feels if I have to make him arroused that it is being disrespectful to me. I have lived with this because I have a whole lot of trust in him and have never ever suspected infidility. Tonight, I caught him masterbating on the couch, he was not watching porn, but Mariah Carey was on a TV show. I was devestated. He does not know that I caught him. Please give me some advice as how to handle this situation.
I just put here my personal experience some time I was not made sex relation with gf . Just prefer to watch movie and any thing which help me masturbation. Any how dont worry its a normal fact.

 
Old 01-11-2010, 12:37 PM   #6
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

He should talk to his doctor about his claim to have a complete lack of a sex drive. It's not normal and is something that could be treated.

 
Old 01-11-2010, 12:46 PM   #7
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

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Originally Posted by caberg View Post
He should talk to his doctor about his claim to have a complete lack of a sex drive. It's not normal and is something that could be treated.
Dear,

I think its normal. Actually after 40 we need to something special to wake up my sex drive. Her Husband like that actress so he cant stop him self for masturbation. Some time wife think we have no sex drive But we have.

 
Old 01-11-2010, 01:00 PM   #8
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

he doesn't have a lack of a sex drive....if he had lack of sex drive he wouldn't be masterbating....my opinion is that he has a madonna hore complex because he says he respects you too much to have sex with you.
this is psychological, not physical......

 
Old 01-11-2010, 01:05 PM   #9
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

You say that your husband feels it is disrespecting you for you to have to arouse him??? Isnt that called foreplay? Alot of women who are cheated on say my husband would NEVER cheat on me. Hopefully that is true in your case. I would want an answer and be going to a dr if he truly doesnt know. 9 years is long enough to suffer. Good luck! M

 
Old 01-11-2010, 01:12 PM   #10
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Re: My husband does not make love to me, but I caught him masterbating

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
he doesn't have a lack of a sex drive....if he had lack of sex drive he wouldn't be masterbating....my opinion is that he has a madonna hore complex because he says he respects you too much to have sex with you.
this is psychological, not physical......
Oh I also want to say like that. Your Husband has not lake of Sex drive just Maddona hore complex. You just talk to him openly and clearly. Hope so He will understand you because u said he respect you .

 
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