I need some advice on what to do to make my boyfriend ***. He is very sexual and experienced. He is 33 and I am 20. He says that I give him the best blow job ever, but he doesn't ***. Not during sex or anything. I don't know what else to do to please him. I ask him and he says I am doing everything fine, ******* just isn't important to him. It's important to me. I am afraid he is going to find someone else who can get him off. I need some suggestions guys!
Ok first you need to clarify one thing. When you say *** do you mean ejaculate,orgasm or both?? With men they are two seperate things. Read the post below called Where's the Milk. Find the one from me that explains the difference.
Anyway if he is orgasming and enjoying being with you then relax and dont borrow trouble by worrying so much over him ejaculating.
You can ask him if he has always been like this. Also if he doesnt ejaculate at all then he might want to talk to a doctor to make sure the plumbing is ok so to say.
Also you need to listen to him. If he is happy with the way things are,why borrow trouble!?!?
He doesn't do either. I give him oral sex and he really enjoys it, but he never reaches a point of climax. We try to have sex, but he doesn't stay hard for a very long time. He says that he has been this way for a long time. I am not really comfortable on asking him to see a doctor or anything, I would just like to know what is wrong.
Ok,you are comfortable enought o give him oral and attempt to have sex but you arent comfortable enough to ask him to see his doctor. That is strange to me. Oh well. You really should encourage him to see his doctor. Something is not right if he cant maintain an erection and isnt reaching climax. It could be a simple thing or it could be something important. Either way you should suggest seeing his doctor might clear things up. Let him know your concerns for his health. You wont be able to tell what is wrong becuase you arent a doctor. It is easy to suggest to him to see his doctor. I mean come on you are in a relationship with him after all. No I am not tyring to sound mean just saying you will only get suggestions on what is wrong but no real answer. Only a doctor can do that and only a doctor can help him fix what MIGHT be wrong.
Get him to try the herb "Muira Puama". It should make him feel more "tingly" down there and might help him ***. You can find it at a Natural Health Foods Store in capsule form. Just follow the bottle for proper dosage.
If you want to try something else (or combine them), use the herb "Damiana". He should be able to "stay up" longer. I've used both with great results!
Well don't worry about him not coming. Coming lasts for men on average 3-4 seconds.. which is really short. It is not important for me. I prefer 2h sex without an orgams to 1h sex with one. So if he says it is fine believe him.
However if he gets soft quickly when inside you, it might be good for him to see a doctor or do something about it.
There are two more things I can think of, but I am just adding them for completeness sake .
1) Maybe he just masturbates too much and has lost his sensation, especially when using a condom.
2) If he only gets soft inside but not in your hands, you could try Kegels yourself, that will make you tighter plus you will be able to stimulate him when inside.
Still the problem is with him so don't feel bad or worry about him finding somebody else for that reason.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JAult2953:
<B>He doesn't do either. I give him oral sex and he really enjoys it, but he never reaches a point of climax. We try to have sex, but he doesn't stay hard for a very long time. He says that he has been this way for a long time. I am not really comfortable on asking him to see a doctor or anything, I would just like to know what is wrong.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
This isn't normal, and he knows it, but its embarassing. Possible problems:
1. He is on anti-depressants (or needs to be). They can cause a guy not to be able to ***.
2. He has other problems on his mind, financial, family, sexual, medical.....
3. You say he doesn't last long during intercourse, so he might have low thyroid, low testosterone, diabetes, or heart disease. All of these can cause loss of erection without apparent reason. They are easy to test for, so its doctor time. You can't put up with not knowing, and he WON"T do anything unless you force him too. So, get some BALLS, and take him to the doc. Go with him and explain the problem for him. He won't be able to do it.
4. He is gay. Any signs of that?
Don't believe that he doesn't care, he care a great deal, he just doesn't know what to do that won't embarass the hell out of him. No choice, this isn't going to get better, only worse and its remotely possible his life might be at risk (diabetes, heart disease or worse).
as for vaginal sex, it could be a psychological thing (afraid of STD and/or pregnancy)
as for oral, it could be that he was with a partner(s) in the past that did not want him to come in her mouth... and has just "learned" not to...
personally, I had problems "finishing" with oral for the longest time... I became fixated on trying to finish and it REALLY didn't help... now I just relax and after awhile it happens!
but I did really enjoy oral even w/o "finishing" -- so you can take your b/f word that he is REALLY enjoying it...
hmmm GO TO THE DOCTOR! i remmeber when me and my girlfriend im with now had similar problems (not being able to hold an erection) for like the first 2 months but i can assure it was just stress on my behalf! (this have been great for years now <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif">)
u NEED to get it checked out as its been along time....
