i wasn't sure what to put in the subject line...but anyway here goes; im sixteen years old and have been in a relationship for nine months. a few months ago my girlfriend gave me oral sex for the first time. im sure you all can imagine what this was like for a 16 year old. I had dreamed of this moment. just the idea practically put me over the edge. so at first i thought i was just outside of the moment. but then i realized what was happening...i hardly felt anything. i could see what she was doing to me, but i could harldy feel it. needless to say i was somewhat disappointed, but i didn't let my girlfriend see that. It was her first time to do anything like that as well, so i decided that my reaction to it was simply due to her inexperience. i don't remember how much time went by, but a few nights later she decided to try again. I felt sure that this time i would be less nervous and therefore would enjoy myself thoroughly, but low and behold, i had the same reaction, which was practically none at all. So this is my problem: everytime my girlfriend performs oral sex on me or gives me a hand job, I cannot have an orgasm. it isn't that i lose my erection, its just that i can't climax. Ive always been under the impression that guys didn't take much to have an orgasm, i guess thats just a stereotype though. Is my girlfriend doing something wrong? or is it me? do i have a subconcious fear of physical intamacy?(not sure if such a condition exists...i guess if im going to ask that i should add that ive never had an experience that i feel would result in that i.e. sexual abuse or embarrassing incidents) i say subconcious b/c i by all means i find her very attractive and want her to be able to make me orgasm. oh yeah, i know its not that i can't orgasm or ejaculate or whatever, b/c i can without fail bring myself to orgasm...
So what should i do? any advice would be greatly appreciated as well as accounts of similiar experiences. i hope there are some... oh; just ask if you have any other questions on points i didn't cover. sorry this is so long
I sympathize. Suggestion: Analyze your feelings when you masturbate: do you like long, slow strokes, or rapid ones? Do you prefer it wet or dry? What part of your penis is most sensitive? If you become more conscious of these factors, you can better communicate your needs to your partner. Then be very patient, relax, and don't worry. It'll happen sooner or later!
