My boyfriend and I just started having sex for three months now but the problem is, is that I'm the only one having orgasms from it. He can go on for hours and not even come close to finishing. It's getting very frustrating and upseting for him and I don't know what to do to make him feel better or anything. I can get him to orgasm from foreplay and stuff. But he says during sex he's only getting a little pleasure. He mentioned that I was too loose but when I asked him if it really was he said he was only joking. He gets really worked up and everything but he's barely getting any pleasure and can't orgasm. Now he says he'll only have sex to pleasure me and after I orgasm he stops. I read other posts and thought it could be the condoms we use but I'm afraid of using the ultra senstive kind because I don't want them to be too thin and break. Maybe he's not going in deep enough. Do you guy's have to go all the way in to feel pleasure? He goes about a little more than half way because he's afraid of hurting me. Any advice is appreciated. Tell me anything that you can. Thanks!
a few suggestions here... first try some new positions. maybe he'll find one that really turns him on and gets him going. along that note, try moaning a bit and touching him while you two are having sex... it always helps me get off when i'm with my girlfriend.
i'd also try using different condoms... i always use the ultra thin ones and they always work well and never break (knock on wood). if you're still too nervous for them, just get another brand of condoms, just to try something different.
lastly, don't make it a big deal with your boyfriend about how you're concerned about him not getting off.... the more pressure you put on him, the harder it will be for him to reach an orgasm... it's 80% mental.
I used to have a real hard time (no pun intended) having orgasms with condoms on so I rarely wore them...just had the ladies go on the pill...but that was 2 decades ago when many of the worries of today did not exist (or so I though at the time). My point is that if he is circusized like I am, it may be difficult for him as he may be de-sensitized. This is not uncommon. He may have a little problem 'finishing'. I'd suggest you tighten yourself up by crossing your legs after he is inside...it gives a whole new meaning to the word 'tight'!. The guy above said make some noise...that could help. Try some more sensitive condoms also...some are just too thick. Ask him to buy the next size up also...I found ones that are too tight don't give the same stimulation. Congrats for practising safe sex!
I'm a 20 yo guy with more or less the same problem.
You said any advice appreciated. OK:
First, if you really want to help him, buy thinner condoms. I don't feel there's that much difference, but at least it will make him see you worry about him. I mean, why are you so worried about thinner condoms breaking? Do you think condoms break so easily? If you buy a decent brand and only have penetration when your vagina is well lubricated, you shouldn't worry. Plus, he's ur regular partner (lower STD risk), and anyway he can't ejaculate, so even in the unlikely case a condom broke, what are you afraid of?
(Sorry, I've been a little bit hard on you. But believe me it's not fun not coming. :-(
It appears thin latex condoms do not feel better but are more likely to break. Buy poliurethane ones, they're thinner than latex but as strong, and you feel the heat through them. Only they're just a little little little bit worse than latex ones in preventing STD transmission.)
I wouldn't worry about you being too loose. Personally, I see the fixation for tight as a mere phantasy. The last girl I've slept with is japanese, and her vagina is way too tight. I mean, even her being very wet, at first I simply couldn't penetrate her. After two hours I managed to, and it was very uncomfortable for me bcos of the tightness, so I didn't get any pleasure at all.
But if your boyfriend has had other partners before, ask him about his experiences, you never know. Honesty is the key here, but even if you were looser than other girls I can guarantee you he'd still feel great in the right positions.
About him going half way: I don't think going deep would hurt you unless there's an obvious size difference between you and him (like with this japanese girl). Do a research in the net on the vagina's "deep spot".
Anyway male sensitivity is mainly on the gland, and the vagina is tighter on its first third, so I don't think it's bcos of this anyway.
To tell the truth, I haven't understood myself why it takes me so absolutely long to have an orgasm. Maybe his penis (like mine) has a different inclination than usual when it's hard?
two suggestions from anohter female....first one ASTROGLIDE!! this is the best lube i've ever used in my life, and me and my man use it no matter how wet i am, it just f*in rocks. secondly, do it doggy style, i've never known a guy who couldn't *** doggy style...just some suggestions <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"> good luck, i know it's frustratiing and makes you feel like ****! i've had the problem in the past w/ an ex, and those two things worked! hope it helps.