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Old 08-25-2001, 10:18 PM   #1
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El Barto HB User
No orgasm during sex

I'm worried because I'm not having orgasms during sex/oral sex/etc.. I'm 18 and have a great girlfriend, and I've had only one in the past. I'm worried that all the masturbating I've done (especially while watching porn, which is 95% of the time) has "desensitized" me to sex or sexual stimulation from another person. I mean, it feels really great to receive oral sex and such from my girlfriend, but it never brings me to orgasm. I have to finish it off myself. And I've recently just had sex for the first time, and I was not able to orgasm (it didn't last all that long though). I've always had the fear that all the masturbating I've done has ruined my chances of having an orgasm during sex. My girlfriend is really worried that it's her, and I keep reassuring her that it's not. I'm totally attracted to her and we're in love, so that's not the problem. Any suggestions, or am I out of luck?

 
Old 08-25-2001, 11:11 PM   #2
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Rocky9945 HB User
Re: No orgasm during sex

Welcome to the boards El Barto, hope you stay for awhile!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

This is the second time in the last couple days a question like this has been asked, I invite you to read this topic also.
<A HREF="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/Forum102/HTML/000239.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/Forum102/HTML/000239.html</A>

But like we've said in that post, what you're going through is most likely normal. You've trained your body to know what feels good and what it takes to have an orgasm. Use this to your advantage if you want. Another thing you can do is have your girlfriend do to you what you normally would.

Relax and don't worry about what isn't happening, use it to your advantage and enjoy the fact that you are lasting longer. Forget about yourself, please her. Once she's ready to finish you, show her what you would like for her to do, show her what feels good.

Over time and if you keep doing it you'll re-train your body to recognize what else feels good and you'll be able to orgasm during sex and while masterbating. then you'll have the best of both worlds. Good luck and have fun!!

 
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Old 08-26-2001, 05:09 AM   #3
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Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: No orgasm during sex

I totall agree with Rocky, this is not something that is uncommon for someone whos beoming sexually active after years of masturbation. You're not ruined and things will be just fine, your friend is just very used to your hand and will need to realize that there are other types of stimulii. The fun part is that working together the two of you get to solve the matter! Read the other post on the board and if you have further questions please feel free to write back! Good luck and have fun!

 
Old 08-26-2001, 10:50 AM   #4
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El Barto HB User
Re: No orgasm during sex

Thanks a lot for giving me hope guys. Oh, and Rocky, I do focus on pleasing her...that's what excites me a lot. She's just been feeling guilty that she's the one having the orgasms and not me, but I keep reassuring her that over time I will be able to also. Thanks again!

 
Old 08-26-2001, 12:58 PM   #5
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Rocky9945 HB User
Re: No orgasm during sex

Great El Barto! You've figured out what pleases her and want to continue to do that. Sounds like you're going to have a wonderful sexlife. Like I said before if she gets too upset because she can't help you, give her some pointers. Show her what you like. I bet you'll both enjoy that alot too!!

Have a good one!!

 
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