I'm in a really loving relationship with my boyfriend (we are 19 years old), and we are not nervous around each other when having sex. The thing is, my boyfriend loses his erection really easily, and neither of us know why. He asked his doctor, and was told it was "just nerves" but he KNOWS that that's not it. He has no real problems GETTING one, just with maintaining one. We have tried different things (ie: more foreplay, talking dirty, etc) but nothing seems to work. He suffers from addison's disease (affects the adrenal glands) but was told that this wouldn't affect his ability to perform. Does anyone know what's going on, or what we should do about it? It's very frustrating to not be able to finish having sex, or having to stop constantly so he can get hard again. Any advice is welcome!
Is he on any medication that might have side effects? Prozac is a well known cause of this problem. I have this sort of problem sometimes myself but I'm 46. It shouldn't happen to a healthy 19yo. Probably shouldn't happen to me either. I sympathise as I know how frustrating it is. I would go and get a second opinion if he is not on medication.
You may want to have him try a "penis ring" or more commonly called a "**** ring". These are simply plastic or metal rings that are worn at the base of the penis and can help maintain a harder erection by restricting the blood flow leaving the penis. I normally don't recommend anything that restricts flow, but in this case it may actually help. They can be found at any sex shop, and of course there are plenty of online sex shop retailers who will ship it to you incognito if you're embarrassed about buying them in person.
Also, he may want to try good 'ole Viagra. I know you said he has no problem getting an erection, just maintaining one. Well, Viagra is great for keeping erections for longer periods of time, and isn't just for 'old people'. Its worth a try.
I never had this problem, but I know from using certain condoms I used to find it hard to keep an erection, are you using condoms as a form of protection?
I changed the condoms I use and have one now that suits us both and we can go for hours with the same condom, I find the “Inspiral” condom the best, “Durex” were just too tight, “Mates” gave my partner a bad reaction…. Etc etc.
If your not using condoms, maybe you could try just giving oral sex on each other or mutual masturbation for a couple of days, just so that if your boyfriend does have any anxiety about sex that it might subside.
I don’t know how true the stats are, but I heard 1 time that most sexual problems are subconscious, about 70% of the time. Ask your boyfriend to try get an erection by closing his eyes and fantasize about anything he wants, not touching himself; see how long it takes!
Because maybe he could be just used to his own hand and doesn’t feel the same “feeling” when he penetrates you…
Hi Fiona, I know what addison's disease is because I have it. There are two kinds of problems with this disease. Firstly, the wrong dose of hydrocortisone/florinef (does he take florinef). Too high or too low, or not enough in the evening can cause erection problems.
Secondly, addison's is often associated with other hormone problems. Low thyroid, is one of them which is associate with erection problems.
So, has he had his other hormones checked. Specifically, prolactin, TSH, IGF-1, 24-hour urine cortisol, and blood sugar. Addisons is also associated with blood sugar problems, especially low blood sugar.
Does he have any other symptoms. Weight gain/loss, headaches, fatigue, vision problems, dry skin, dry mouth, muscle loss as in difficulty opening pickle jars for instance, or brain fog (the feeling you are not attached to the world sometimes)?
Regarding doctors, they are often completely unaware of the problems facing addisonian patients. This disease is very rare and so doctors are not trained in this area. I would encourage him to research this disease using the NET and he will learn more about how to keep himself healthy than talking to the vast majority of doctors.
One thing I will say about nerves is this. Once a guy starts having erection difficulties it definitely plays on his mind. He might tell you that he isn't nervous, but every time he needs an erection he will start to say to himself "please god keep this thing up". He wants to love you and be normal and its very hard to admit he is not. Perhaps you could try not having sex and just stick to kissing and masturbation. It would be interesting to know if he can stay erect constantly if you just play with him, kiss and touch. If he can, then there is more of a mind component than he is willing or perhaps able to admit.
If the hormones test out normal (all of them well inside the normal range, not near the top or bottom) then I suggest a small amount of viagra. That might get him over the mind problems and get you both back to being happy again.