In my opinion, I think it is just like when people use other people for whatever they want. For instance, say you hook up with someone one night and end up having sex. He says that he'll call you and then doesn't. Then if he sees you in public and he's with his friends he'll act like he doesn't know you. But when the two of you are alone he'll say that he didn't mean to be mean to you but had to do that in front of his friends so they wouldn't know something was up between the two of you. He then sweet talks you and you end up having sex again. The cycle then repeats itself over and over until someone finally gets tired of being used or the "user" has moved on to another person. Basically, if he acts one way when the two of you are alone - sweet, caring, nice - and then is completely different when he's with his friends it is my opinion that one can safely assume that they are being used by another person. Let me also clarify that women will do this as well. It certainly isn't a male only thing.
I agree with redfox, there ARE plenty of men out there who don't use women for sex, just as there are plenty of men that DO use women for sex. It's also not a one-sided issue either, there are plenty of women who use men for sex as well, I just think that women aren't as obvious about it, lol
~All work and no play is totally missing the point!~
I think that the question here was 'how do you know?', not 'does it happen?'!
Blkgrl: there is no real way to tell if you are being used. I have been in 'relationships' where I was in a great place, and I enjoyed his company, whereas I was just his "guaranteed fu*k". I had absolutely no idea. Honestly, as long as you are getting something out of the relationship, it shouldn't matter what his motives are. There is no way to find out without asking him or hounding his friends.
Also, some guys like to brag about things. If you over hear something, take it with a grain of salt. If you really don't trust him, don't waste your time. I know, easier said than done. Good luck..
the only way to make sure you are not getting used, is to wait to have sex, if he sticks around for a long period of time without having sex with you i guess hes not using you <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">
I cant believe that you can say that as long as you are getting something out of it- it doesn't matter what his motives are. What if you are getting what you think is a loving caring relationship? Does it then matter that the guys real motive is only using you for sex? I do not know if you phrased that statement wrong or if I just misunderstood it. My above statment was kind of harsh in saying that all men want is sex- I suppose what I mean is that it is a major part of the relationship for men as well the other elements that women have more of a connection with- love, friendship..However sometimes it is the only part of a relationship and thats when women have to realize whats going on and then exit- granted the women wants something more than that as well. I think that if you have to ask yourself wether the guy is using you for sex then most likely he is-- granted your not a neurotic fruitcake- so go with your instincts.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nadine:
<B>I think that if you have to ask yourself wether the guy is using you for sex then most likely he is-- granted your not a neurotic fruitcake- so go with your instincts.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You took the words right out of my mouth. Come on girls, we all have those natural instincts for a reason.