i feel really bad right now. my girlfriend and i are never EVER able to be alone for some reason (we're both 17) and last night we finally were. i'm a virgin, she's not and we got to a secluded place where we wanted to have sex. we got in the extremely cramped back seat and started going along. i had an erection and i put the condom on but as she started to try and "put me in" i was losing the erection. uhhhhh what the hell is that all about. there's nothing wrong with me physically, i'm on no medication and have had no medical problems whatsoever. i'm really scared about this. i don't know what's going on. help me please.
OK, so you know everything works right, this is perfectly normal. Many of us have been there and had that same thing happen. Being your first, her whatever, its natural that you'd be so focused on "doing it right" that nerves probably played a big role in this. Also the environment wasn't really good for something this important and that too probably played some role in your losing the erection. DON'T get too worked up over this....that'll only make things worse. This sorta thing happens to all of us at some time, yes it is embarassing, frustrating and leaves you "in need" of a release. Take some time, talk with your girl about this and try again when things are better. Use lots of foreplay and be sure to keep a condom handy! Remember that your two heads are VERY connected and can play very bad tricks on you. Take it easy, nothing is wrong that can't be fixed with a little work. Sex really requires that two people are very in tune and it usually takes some practice for everything to be totally OK. I know what you head tells you.....that you oughta be perfect the first time...and that simply is NOT true. Keep in touch and we'll help you through this....you're not alone!
I've dated a couple of virgins, and I've noticed that until they get comfortable with what is something very new and confident about what they are doing, they had problems maintaining erections, as well as difficulty ejaculating.
It's nothing to worry about. Just like when you are learning to ride a bike, you fall off it a few times, and have a bit of difficulty controlling it. But once you get the hang of it, no matter how long you go between rides, you never forget how to do it.
It's also really easy for anyone to lose their erection putting on a condom and then even harder to get it back once it's on. They are a necessary evil though. You just need more time and a less pressured environment. Sometimes a similar thing happens to girls, particularly on their first time, only the muscles of the vagina tense up and won't let the penis in.