Hey all, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and we've been having sex almost 1 year. We live 40 minutes away from each other so we see each other about every two weeks due to busy schedules. Anyways, sometimes when my bf and I are trying to have sex, he goes soft and we can't. It's been going on since we first started having sex, and we've figured it to being stress or tiredness. The only problem is that it REALLY bothers him. He always makes comments about his "problem" but when I try to assure him it's ok and doesn't bother me too much(which it doesn't, I know he can't help it) he just gets upset and says it should. I keep telling him it's probably psychological and he's making it worse and he says that it's probably that, but he can't just NOT think about it, becuse it bothers him so much. Once we were in a park and I tried to have sex with him and he was hard for awhile but then went soft, we figured it was maybe being cold, but then that nite we had sex at my house and everything was fine. Then just recently we were in the shower and I tried to get him to enter me doggystyle but he couldn't get in (he's kinda 5'11" and i'm 5'3") so I tried to get him in frontways and he went soft again. Does anyone know of any way to try to get him not to worry? I'm sure I've done everything I can, but it upsets me when he gets so upset.
p.s. also, when standing, how can I get him to be able to enter me doggystyle? we haven't done doggystyle at all before, should we try me on all fours first? we just cant seem to get it in...is it just trial and error? thanks!!!
I would try doing different kinds of foreplay. If you have been with each other for a few years, you should be able to sit down and really talk about what different things turn each of you on.. Does he touch himself during sex?? Do you??Maybe watch some porn..
If he's having a bit of an erection problem maybe he could do himself for awhile till hes hard again.. Maybe he would enjoy you touching yourself...
So you see, there are all kinds of possibilities that can help...
As far as the doggy style goes, I would do it on the bed not on all fours, but just two..
Keep your shoulders on the bed..this will make it easier for him to enter..
After you get good at the bed, then maybe try the shower..
Hope some of this helps...Bill
Well doggy style on the bed with the girl on all fours works the easiest. Also it is easier if the girl puts it in herself.
I do not know how bad your boyfriends problem is- sometimes stress can get the better of us . If he cannot get it up one day in a cold park or if it goes soft after struggeling with a position in the shower , I would not worry. However if the problem persits and becomes a issue I would adivice him to visit a urologist.