erm, i'm only 14 so it's impractical for me to try and get these things but:
i've always wanted to try masturbating with lubricant, is there any thing i mite find in the home i could use as an alternative?
also, i've wanted to try masturbating with a condom on, but buying one at my age would look stupid, is there any home alternative that would make a good substitute, or good ideas for getting one disscreetly?
OK, as for stuff around the house....
lubricant try olive oil but remember its goin gto be messy, as for a substitute for a condom, nothin gI can think of, a 14 yeaar old can buy them, heres a suggestion go to a store that you and your family does not use, that will lower the embarasment problem, just ask for what you want by name and type (trojan, with spermicide) and pay for them like a can of soda.
Best places to shop like Walmart you can just pick them off the shelf and walk up to the cashier, beleive me the cashier does not care what you buy.
i used to buy condoms at that age and do my best to act like it didn't bother me. just lay 'em down like they're a pack of certs or something. truthfully though, it's not to big a thing, and the person ringing you up is probably just as uncomfortable as you are. depends on who you get and where you shop, i suppose. convenience stores are always best for that sort of thing.
if you want to buy some condoms as inconspicuously as you can somewhere, include more items with it, so they kind of get lost in the mix. might cost you $15 or so when you just wanted condoms, but, it'll save embarrasment some if you're really worried.
Since you're curious about masturbating with a condom on, then of course you should satisfy your curiosity, but if I were you I wouldn't expect too much from the experience as far as the sheer physical sensation is concerned. Condoms just weren't designed with masturbating in mind. And the actual "mechanics" of using one for that purpose will differ according to whether you're cut or uncut.
It's surprising to me to see vaseline (petroleum jelly) mentioned as a possible lubricant--I thought its day of being considered as such was over. Guess it was probably included simply because it's commonly available in the household, and that was the main thrust of your question. If you try it, you'll probably find it much too thick, and quite unsatisfactory. And not particularly easy to remove.
The most commonly used lubricant for masturbating, since the beginning of time, and considered by many to be the best, is simply one's own saliva. Its consistency is very similar to that of precum--the natural male "oozing lube," which not all guys produce however--or semen itself. It's obviously the most readily available of all, produces ideal sensations on the penis head, is not messy, leaves no stains on the sheets or your underwear, and is less "noisy" than are some of the other, thicker substances. It does have to be applied repeatedly, of course, as does any other lubricant. I read somewhere once that there's a very slight chance that germs from the mouth could enter the hole at the end of the penis--the urethra--during masturbation and cause an infection, but I think that's an extremely far reach; I've never heard of this actually happening.
I have to agree, the easiest thing to use is your own saliva.
The easiest thing for you to do is go to your local drug store that has a pharmacy. In the section for female goods you will find the personal lubricants. There are several to choose from (I would tell you here but it would be edited out). Just pick the best one go with it. You may be able to pay for it at the pharmacy desk too (less embarassment).
If you are worried about being discreet, make sure you go to one that your parents and school mates don't work or shop in.
Okay, this is what I use when giving my hubby a hand job and we are out of astroglide.
We either use a thin lotion, not one of those thick gloopy kinds, or baby oil. Honestly, hubby prefers the baby oil, but it can be messy. Another thing that seems to bring pleasure for my honey is a minty lotion. Most foot lotions have mint and it gives a nice cool sensation. I've tried it on myself. Just make sure you get something that doesn't have too much of a strong mint to it, or it will BURN!!
Obviously, I am not a male, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents on what my husband likes. Hope that helps a little.
As for the saliva thing....no, you don't have to suck your **** for that to happen. Collect some in your mouth, spit it in your hand and then use it that way. It really is a good lubricant...try it sometimes!