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Old 10-11-2001, 06:48 AM   #1
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Hyphen HB User
Sex Control

Now I know ur all gonna jump down my throat saying that when having sex u both should be in control but are there any guys out there who like their partner to take control of them on the odd occassion? Or are their any guys out their who prefer to take contol of the lady?

What I really would like to know from this post is.... Guys do u like the woman to take a bit of control... if so what do u like them to do? I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now and I feel I need to spice things up a bit. Are their any special routines you like your lady to perform on u or do I have to find that out for myself.

I'll thank you all in advance for any advice/tips?
Thanks again

 
Old 10-11-2001, 10:53 AM   #2
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whitewolf95 HB User
Re: Sex Control

I dont know anyone who would say that both couples should be in control when having sex....granted there should be an understanding of some limits and what those limits are.
My hubby loves it when I take control,just as much as I love it when he takes control. Dominance can be a fun thing to take part in. You really do need to talk to your partner about this so you know if he is comfortable with this or not.
As for for things to do...well that varies also again talking to your partner is a key thing. You also have to have trust in the relationship or else it wont work.
Tying up is a very good way to take control. Blindfold is also another good thing becuase then he has no clue as to what you are going to do.
What I strongly suggest is going to a book store and try to find some books about either taking control or dominance. There are a great many books on the subject that can be very helpful. This way you both can look over the books and discuss this.
Trust me you dont want to spring this on him one night. I had one of my past parnters completely wig out when I mentioned that I wanted to start trying things like that..but my hubby loved the idea when i first mentioned it. Talking about this in a nonsexual setting is your best bet.

 
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Old 10-11-2001, 01:32 PM   #3
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DivineO HB User
Re: Sex Control

The issue of control is going to vary from person to person. Many people into dominance and submission classify people's personality into dominant, submissive, or 'switch'-someone who alternates between dominant and submissive.

I think it's more of a sliding scale, some people are more or less dominant than others, some are more or less submissive than others.

Most guys like having their partner take control on occasion, and many prefer that they always have control. You can do it passive-aggressively and ask for something, or you can just be assertive and tell them what you want to do next. How controlling you get is going to depend on your personality and theirs.

If you are going to get more into the whips and chains aspect of control, read up on the safety issues first. And always-ALWAYS, use a safe word.

 
Old 10-11-2001, 11:13 PM   #4
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Shiny Bedroom Eyes HB User
Re: Sex Control

Well less form the moral point of view which is never fun hehe, i like to be surprised when the guy just takes control on his own, and seems to be a very dominant guy in bed, talking about it would kinda riun the fun for me. But im sure that guys are the same , they like to be surprised, they like to be told what to do in bed and stuff, demanded of maybe?? . Maybe you could see what his reaction is, if you all of a sudden just take control of the situation hehe <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

 
Old 10-12-2001, 11:02 AM   #5
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whitewolf95 HB User
Re: Sex Control

Shiny when we say talk it over we dont mean go right into it after you talk it over. A person can wait and do it the nest time or whenever. In this day and age it really should be talked over first. A surprise is great and all but what if she tries that and he totally wigs out. Talk about a fast way to ruin the mood or relationship. When I mentioned that one partner that wigged out with just us talking about it...think what would have happened if I hadnt talked to him and just tried to surprise him?!?!
So truly talk to him first to see what he thinks on it. Then wait a bit and then surprise him with it....

 
Old 10-12-2001, 01:25 PM   #6
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Summer_Dawn HB User
Re: Sex Control

I'd seriously talk it over first. You both might have very different ideas and so it would be better to talk.

 
Old 10-12-2001, 03:54 PM   #7
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luvs1woman HB User
Re: Sex Control

Hello all! A newbie here! I could not resist signing up and commenting on this topic.

Several have taken the term “take control” as domination. This can be fun and senses can be heightened when you or your partner is bound and blind folded. Although this is fun, I would like to present another perspective. I prefer my wife to “take control” by planning something special or initiating sex. Especially initiating sex. Of course, she prefers the same but is willing to initiate or take the lead sometimes. Take control by showing him you are interested in having sex and trying new things. Keep the lines of communication open. Not necessarily just asking what he wants. Sometimes your partners wants, needs or desires may change over the years. It is important to change with them. Many times one may hold back for fear of what the other may think or say. This usually ends up with that person finding what they want elsewhere like on the Internet or in another relationship. If he looks at porn, look with him. Comment on the images and accept his comments. Learn how to shift his focus to you! Keep mental notes about what he likes or thinks is sexy. Maybe some of the women on the Internet do have perfect bodies but it’s a sad day when the real thing can’t compete with an image on a computer screen or magazine. So don’t hold back! Find out what part of your body he like best and tease him with it. Is he a butt or breast man? I love to be teased and flirted with. Nowhere does it start that teasing and flirting has to stop when you get into a serious relationship or marriage. For example, were a dress or skit out to dinner one night. Excuse yourself to the restroom and take your panties off. When you get back to the table, hand them to him under the table. He can’t have you right then, but he sure will want you! What a way to tease!

After nearly 15 years of marriage, I have just recently begun to share some of my thoughts and ideas about sex with my wife. Since I have started this, our sex life has changed for the better. She has had orgasms on our back deck, once in the day and once at night while our neighbors were on theirs. The grill and deck furniture make great barriers. We have had sex outside numerous times and had fun doing it! I have talked her into cleaning house in one of my long sleeve button-up shirts and nothing else. I get little sneak peaks in and around the house and neither of us gets much work done. I love to see hints of curves peeking out here and there! I traveled on my last job. This past March before coming home, I FedEx’ed her some thigh-highs and told her to wear them and her new long black winter coat and meet me at the airport. Sex was great that night!

All of these things were my ides. Slowly but surely she is starting to know what I like and is willing to “take charge” by introducing new excitement to our sex lives. I have read other posts seeking info on how to “blow my husband’s mind” and other things. Erotic acts like baby oil and plastic sheets are fun while they last but nothing will drive him crazy like being sexy and knowing it all the time. Sexy is an attitude. It says I’ve got something you want and I know how to use it. So… TAKE CONTROL sexy women!

Sorry this has been so long but I had lots to say and I think it is important to see another perspective. I will end by passing along some info that a female friend got from her father on her wedding day. “Be a lady on the streets and a ***** between the sheets.” Sounds kinda crude but you get the meaning

 
Old 10-13-2001, 08:01 AM   #8
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Hyphen HB User
Re: Sex Control

Yeah Luvs1woman that was a long post but I appreciate it a lot!! Thanx for your input and to everyone else too. I hope others too carry on adding their views on this.

It was great to hear from a males point of view as well as a womans. Yeah I'll talk to my boyfriend and yes I'll tackle a few changes under the covers and see how we go.

Thanx everyone
xxx

 
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