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Pheonix1 · 09-20-2001, 06:50 PM

I'm wondering do every single one of you guys out there have some 'ideal' type of woman you have always been into. And I'm talking strictly superficial now, you know, looks. Blond hair blue eyes, or brunette, brown eyes? Or do some of you appreciate women with many different looks and you judge women as individuals? I'm curious cause someone told me that all guys have one 'ideal' type of woman they will always lust after. I'm hoping that this isn't true.

Jude29 · 09-20-2001, 08:57 PM

What you mean like 5'2" to 5'8", shoulder length red hair, green eyes, B to C cup breasts, tight stomach, heart shaped *** , no inhibitions, and a twin sister she doens't mind sharing with? Sure that all sounds great but if she's stuck up or dumber than a box of hair what good is she?

Yes men like something pretty to look at, but most of us understand that, that is not all there is. Almost every woman I know is attractive in some way and very few of them meet any of the standards I listed above. Yes there are specific things I look for in women, but that doesn't mean I don't find a variety of things attractive.

So yes most men have physical preferences that they look for or notice in women. That does not make us pigs though, because most men can seperate the fantasy woman from the real woman he loves and adores.

Pheonix1 · 09-20-2001, 09:05 PM

I'm not trying to say men are pigs. I do want to understand why for a lot of men they have this one ideal type of woman that they are physically attracted to and then there are the rest of the women of the world? Why does it seem that the things some men want are so specific? Like men say my fantasy woman is '36-24-35, red hair, green eyes, etc' and then there is my wife who I adore and am very attracted to. why is that? Why such a strict standard for what men want?

Jude29 · 09-20-2001, 09:24 PM

You are confusing want and fantasize about. I want my wife, I fantasize about the new girl at work they just hired. I would never appoach that new girl, she is a fantasy, a figment that only exsists (sp) in a perfect world.

Maybe men are just better at seperating fantasy from reality. We might dream the fantasy but I think most prefer to live the reality.

Pheonix1 · 09-20-2001, 09:35 PM

So what you are saying is that in a perfect world you would rather have the girl they just hired rather than your wife? I wonder how your wife would feel about that? So basically your saying what I was saying, men have what they would think is perfect and then they have their wives/girlfriends? Why can't men just be happy with who they are with?

Jude29 · 09-21-2001, 04:32 AM

Why can't you understand that I am happy with what I have? I love my wife, more than I ever thought it was possible to love another person. In my heart I don't want anyone but my wife, my penis may feel differently but I don't think with my penis.

Even if the woman I described in my initial post existed, and had the perfect personalilty, I still would not leave my wife for her. I fell in love with my wife for million little reasons, and my wife and I have shared so much together that I couldn't imagine being wiht anyone else. Another person could never understand me or the things I have been through, or the pain my wife and I have suffered.

I may fanasize about the "perfect" woman but that doesn't mean in my heart I truly want her.

Pheonix1 · 09-21-2001, 06:46 AM

Jude29,
That's my whole point, it sounds like your wife is your perfect woman. Your 'ideal' type. And it has a lot more to do with who she is rather than what she looks like. And your the one that said in a perfect world you would have the woman hired where you work. It doesn't sound like your too happy with what you have to me. To me in a perfect world I would still be with my husband.[This message has been edited by Pheonix1 (edited 09-21-2001).]

g_d9 · 09-21-2001, 08:01 AM

To me the ideal woman is tough, smart, and knows how to get things done. She enjoys life, and walks through the world with open eyes. She sees the beauty in the world and carries it in her heart. She knows how to make bad times good and dosen't go to pieces when the **** hits the fan. She isn't afraid to ask for what she wants and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. She is idependant and chooses to be with me out of want not need. She's my best friend, co-conspiritor, she has a sparkle in her eyes and softness in her touch. She understands children well and never looses touch with the part of her that is still a child. She loves music and is well read. She express her opinions fearlessly. As far as the sexual part goes she knows that being sexy is 10 percent of what you've got and 80 percent what others think you got and knows how to make that work for her. She knows that time is short and life is fragile, so she makes the best of it. But mostly she forgives me for my failings and puts up with me. But most importantly she is a survivor. This ideal is based on my experince in life so far. When I was twelve my ideal was any girl that gave me the time of day. Like I've said people change.

g_d9 · 09-21-2001, 08:29 AM

In case anyone is wondering the missing 10 percent of sex is the spiritual mystery that connects us all (sometimes). By the way our ideals are ment to be challenged and reshaped by the meaningful people in our lives. This is the nature of being.

wearesiamese · 09-21-2001, 08:44 AM

Hey Phoenix1, can I say something? I think you're spending waaaay to much time mulling over this "ideal person" issue. Can you really say that you don't have a superficial ideal man? I mean, I could be lying on a lounge chair in the Mexican Carribean sun, sipping a margarita and think, "Hmmm. Now, if only Johnny Depp would come over here, nude, and ask me if he could rub my feet." That doesn't mean in ANY way that when I wake up and see my husband sleeping next to me, I'm disappointed. Know what I mean? And I'd venture a guess that my husband might entertain idle thoughts about some Baywatch cheesy girl. It just doesn't matter, sweetie. Your husband loves YOU. Even if he does have a thing for redheads, it doesn't mean they are his "ideal." Clearly YOU are his ideal, since you are the woman he married. Most of the men I've glanced at and admired don't have much in common at all with my husband, but my husband has no reason to worry.

g_d9 · 09-21-2001, 11:41 AM

"lying on a lounge chair in the Mexican Carribean sun, sipping a margarita", God that sounds so good right now! I'm sitting here in Boston where weve been told to expect a terrorist attack in the next 36 hours. I'm just going to try to relax and fantasize about being on that beach. I can almost hear the waves.

Morbid Crow · 09-21-2001, 12:26 PM

I have to say, i dont really have a perfect woman. i have been out with over weight, skinny, attractive ugly. i dont have a perfect looking woman.

but i have found women are alot more picky about what their men look like than the other way round. if your a man, you have to have.

short dark hair. 6 pack. 10 inch penis. blue eyes. be just over 6 foot tall. athletic. never watch the football. earn at least $50k a year. drive a BMW. has had lots of sexual experience yet only had 1 girlfreind wich you can never talk about.

i'm sorry if this offends alot of women. but in my experience i have found it true. women go more for looks than men.

Pheonix1 · 09-21-2001, 04:10 PM

g_d9,
Thank you for a refreshing answer, I was begining to think that no one looked for what was on the inside anymore.

wearesiamese,
I posted this topic because on my original post about red heads a guy tried to tell me that every man has an ideal woman (as far as looks go), and I wanted to see if there were some men out there that dissagree with him. And no I don't have an 'ideal' type of man. I have been attracted to many different types of men and they all had something different that made me attracted to them. I didn't realize there were so many people that had a very specific person they were lusting after as far as looks go. I take people as I meet them, and realize that there are all different types of men and women that are beautfull and sexy.

Morbid Crow,
I am a woman. While I don't know if women feel this way more than men, I don't know that it's not that way. My experience has been with men telling me what 'type' of woman they are into. I really haven't heard that many woman talk about it. But I'm not saying they don't. I certainly have not had just one 'type' that was the ultimate man for me. I, like you, have been out with all different types of men (well you have went out with all different types of women) and have found different things that made me attracted to different people. So I appreciate your comment and think it's great that there are men out there that think the way I do. What you said doesn't offend me, I wanted honest open answers.

Jude29 · 09-21-2001, 04:18 PM

I did what you told me to do, I was superficial. You wanted all the physical, (I added the sexual) things that I find attractive. That is not saying I only look for those attributes in a woman. If I did I probably wouldn't be with my wife.

Pheonix if you don't have an ideal person how on earth did you end up with your husband? Did you just say to yourself "eh he'll do". I also find it very hard to believe that you find every aspect of your husbands physical form perfect. I'm not saying you would necessarily change that part of him but if it were different you wouldn't be disappointed. You need to understand that just because there are parts of a person you would like to see different doesn't mean you love that person any less.

g_d9 the person you descibed does sound almost perfect but she asked for superficial. How big is that girls ****? JUST KIDDIING don't everyone string me up for that I was just trying to bring some levity to the board. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif">

Jude29 · 09-21-2001, 04:29 PM

Phoenix are you just trying not to get what we are saying?

Yes I know personality is much more important I never said it wasn't. You asked what phyisical traits we like I answered that question. Just because I may for what ever reason like looking a red heads that doesn't mean I don't find the slightly over weight (what ever that means) brunette with an awesome personality attractive, because I do.

I'll give you an example in the oppisite direction. There used to be this girl at work that was extremely nice looking, nearly perfect body. I would not have ****ed her with my worst enemies dick. She was a to be frank stupid, dumber than a box of hair. I am honestly surprised she remembered to breath on a minute by minute basis. I could no matter how hard I tried bring myself to fanatsize about her while masturbating. She lacked what I truly need to be attracted to a memeber of the oppisite sex.

Lori · 09-21-2001, 05:37 PM

I kind of know what Pheonix1 is talking about. It hurts, it really does. My fiance loooooves green eyes. I have (boring) brown eyes. Though lots of other people compliment me on my eyes he still loves green eyes with a passion. HOWEVER, I KNOW he loves me and all of me, or we wouldnt be together for 5 years and getting married next year. I once was so insecure about my eyes because he commented on my friends green eyes how georgeous they were, I was so hurt I was getting green colored contact lenses. (I dont even need them, I dont even wear glasses!) he was against it and told me he didnt want me to that he loved me just the way I am. I'm tired I dont really know where I am going with this but to hopefully make you feel a little better and to know we understand. Hope you two work things out, you shouldnt let something like this get in the way of your relationship.
Take care,
Lori <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

------------------
I wish to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Jim · 09-21-2001, 07:08 PM

Hi; to me after many years, and experiences, I would be looking for a average looking woman, in good health, but maybe one with the brain of a man, that is logical, not prone to outbursts, gets to the point when telling you something, most of all stable, that you know were you stand with her this day, and all the days to come!. At a point looks ar not everything, air heads with a great body, and looks don't cut it any more.

09-21-2001, 08:23 PM

This is a perfect example of what I call "A WOMAN THING"...Men and women for the most part think differently about certain things....Men for the most part are cut and dry, and women for the most part, beat around the bush...Of course there are always exceptions and I have met them, well atleast some of them. Personally, it would turn me completely off to meet a woman that was so analytical about nonsensical things like this....Just my opinion.

Pheonix1 · 09-21-2001, 09:26 PM

Please everyone that replied to this read the following.

I posted this topic because someone told me that every guy has an ideal woman (of the purely physical side). So I wanted to see if he is right. I wanted to see if there are some guys that don't have an 'ideal' type of woman based merely on physical traits. So for some one to answer me by telling me what they are looking for in a woman's personality prooves that not every man thinks the same way.
And as far as that last comment, that is what these boards are here for, so we can be analytical and see what other people's opinions are. Maybe it would turn you off because it threatens you to be around a woman who uses her brain. My husband likes the fact that I have a brain and I use it. He also likes the fact that I try to understand him, not just go off of assumptions about men.
So in summary this post doesn't have to do with my husband. It has to do with a man that made a generalization about all men, and I wanted to see if he truely did speak for the entire male population.

09-22-2001, 02:45 PM

My wife happens to be a professor at a local college..I'm not threatened in the least by her intelligence, infact I praise her for it. If you are using your brain, why would you assume that one comment from a man would include all men...Each and every one of us men are individuals and we do not think the same...Your right the boards are here to see what others opinions are....My opinion, I thought your question was trivial...Freedom of speech, I love America for that fact!! Have a great life...

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