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Old 04-21-2002, 01:53 PM   #1
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runawaybunny HB User
Importance of Sex

I understand that intimacy in a relationship is important, but how important to men is sex? I have been with this guy for awhile now and we haven't had sex yet. The whole reason why is because I am scared to. I am not a virgin, but it has been like forever (10mos) since I have had sex. My previous boyfriend and the father of my child, used me for sex and he is nowhere to be found now. I like the guy I am with and I really want to have sex with him, but how do I tell him that I am hesitant because it's been awhile.

 
Old 04-21-2002, 02:28 PM   #2
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Elis HB User
Re: Importance of Sex

Hey runawaybunny, the importance of sex in a realtionship depends on the importance of it to the two people involved. For most red blooded humans it's pretty important because it is a vehicle for increasing the level of intimacy and it brings closer two people in love. But what is more important than sex or intimacy is honesty. Honesty to both yourself and your partner. It sounds like you were emotionally damaged by your baby's father using you for sex and it may require some counselling to help you overcome the fear and negative attitude you may now have towards sex. If it is true that you really like the guy you're with now, then it is only respectful to tell him what you've said here; that you like him and want to have sex with him but that your experience with the last guy was really traumatic. If he understands, than he could become an integral aspect to helping you heal. And if he doesn't understand, than you really don't need him and emotionally you can't afford to have unsupportive people in your life. Not to mention, the child you're responsible for also is greatly impacted by the relationships you have and what kind of men you introduce into you and your childs life. Which is entirely another issue that is also a huge effect factor... WHY is your child's father "no where to be found"? Is he is paying child support? Maybe it's time for him to be "found" for the sake of your child and your child's rights. Excuse the lecture, but this always scares me. When you have another life to look after, it is all the more important that YOU are looking after yourself and ensuring that you are healthy and emotionally stable. Take care.
<p>[This message has been edited by Elis (edited 04-21-2002).]

 
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Old 04-21-2002, 06:42 PM   #3
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runawaybunny HB User
Re: Importance of Sex

Thanks for the advice. I did talk to him and he does understand. We live and hour and half apart so it's sometimes hard to do things, cause each of us have a 2yr old son at home. He is serious about me and I about him, but he for sure does not want to relocate. I would but not till I am 100% sure. With the stuff about my child's father. He lives in PA, and I live in WI. He chose to move back in August and hasn't seen our son since. He came back to WI about a month and half ago. He threatened to kill me on a Sunday, then showed up on a Friday in WI where he was arrested for poss. of a hangun with a rest. order against him. He is now being charged with a felony and looking at 5yrs in prison. The judge allowed him to go back to PA until his trial so he can get a job in the meantime. He does not pay support, because he has no job. He is ordered to pay $485/mo. He didn't file taxes either, so I can't take that. Just so you know, so you don't think I am the "evil" mom who is keeping her son away from his father, I didn't have him arrested. He was pulled over in a routine traffic stop and they found 3 warrants on him, arrested him for those and then found the gun. He can see my son and visitation has been set up so he can see him supervised. He chooses not to. Thanks again for your advice.

 
Old 04-21-2002, 08:42 PM   #4
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Hawk HB User
Re: Importance of Sex

We dont think your an evil mom <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"> The guys a heartless *****. I wouldnt even let him see your child if I was you.

Its really good you talked to the man your with and he understands, its important to have people who care about you, not your body when your messed up <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

Im sorry I cant say more but Elis said it succintley with her statement.

Sex is important but to some of us guys the lady we love is more important than sex. and those are the kinda guys you need to find <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"> And you will.

 
Old 04-23-2002, 02:30 AM   #5
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Ksavage HB User
Re: Importance of Sex

Like I have said before Hawk.....If there were only a lot more men out there like you then this world would be a much better place! We love ya! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif">

Thanks for being you!
<IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif"> Kim

------------------
Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a GIFT, that it is why it is called the present.<p>[This message has been edited by Ksavage (edited 04-23-2002).]

 
Old 04-23-2002, 07:40 AM   #6
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niecsey HB Userniecsey HB User
Re: Importance of Sex

HAWK is 1 great all round GUY:BANG: THE GIRL WHO GETS HAWK IS GONNA BE very lucky :ROUND:

 
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