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Old 11-22-2011, 07:17 PM   #1
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lostinmarriage HB User
wife has excuse afetr exuse not to have sex

My wife and I have been married for 20 years, our sex life had always been ok, she was a virgin when we met in college. about 5 years ago my wife lost 100% OF HER SEX DRIVE. I have tried to get her help, at first I accepted oral sex or hand stimulation in lieu of sex, however that has changed as well. She now scrapes my penis with her teeth causing me to bleed or slits my penis with her finger nails on 4-5 occasions I have had to seek medical treatment for cuts. I have asked her to seek marriage counseling abd she agreed. I was seeking help from a psychologist that had asked we meet seperatly to see if there were issues she didnt want me to know. I had gone for 3 months and she claimed she was attending then I received the Doctor bill with just my therapy. I asked her if she was going , she said yes, then she admitted she lied and never went. today is the 21st of november, the last time we had sex was june 24th. she says she is in live with me. I compliment her daily,buy her sexy clothes,I clean the house I work hard and think Iam attractice. she says shes always tired or had a bad day,her foot hurts,she pulled a muscle in her arm. she had a bad discussion with an employee and put her in a bad mood. you name the excuse she gives it.

I recently asked if she wants to seperate or divorce or see some one else, does she want another man, am I unattractive. she claims shes very happy in the relationship. I am at my wits end. she does not want me to leave her.( we make about the same amount of money so I know this is not a financial reason to stay) can some one help she did go to our family doctor that did test her and said she was normal as far as hormonal issues and is not depressed. there seems to be no logical explanation. I never had any complaints in bed before 5 years ago at least, I am responsive with cuddling, forplay.I listen to her needs and I am told by several women friends of hers that they wish they had a man like me.the issue is I only want her and cant have her.. can any one please help.

I have tried romance. I recently (My Birthday) had a violinist come to our table and play for her. I took her to a romantic dinner and hotel out of town. she took a shower then i took mine when I came out expecting to make love, she was asleep. I pulled up a chair and just sat and watcher her sleep. I cried like a baby because I dont know what to do. we hold hands shopping and seem to be in love but nothing helps. I am trying to hold on but now I am thinking of cheating... any advise woulkd be so helpful. my doctors have tried every thing to help.. its been 5 months no sex 3-4 attempts with oral sex that hurt me 10-20 tries with 1/2 me being hurt.

 
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Old 11-26-2011, 05:33 AM   #2
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Re: wife has excuse afetr exuse not to have sex

My sympathies on your situation. It sounds like your wife is really harbouring some resentment about giving you oral or manual sex if she's going to actual injure you like that. Once, it could have been an accident, but repeatedly? Unlikely. I definitely think she was hurting you on purpose so you would stop asking her for it.

Is she on any medication? Could she be seeing someone? How's her work life? What happened 5 years ago that might have caused the change?

Anyway, there's something going on with her and until she tells you (or a psychiatrist) about it, there will be no solution.

 
Old 11-28-2011, 06:15 PM   #3
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dunwitty HB User
Re: wife has excuse afetr exuse not to have sex

Sorry man, but you need to ask your wife whats up. Maybe you need to stop bending over so much for her. If you really are doing all of these nice things for you and shes still not giving you what you want than thats wrong. I find that if you start treating a woman with a little less respect, they start treating you better. I dont understand it, but if you treat them like crap every now and then, without being too mean, than they start being more attracted to you. Its messed up, but women dont make much sense most of the time.

 
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