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Old 01-12-2012, 04:21 PM   #1
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Red face High libido, not enough sex

Right! Time to get the ball rolling and some stuff off my mind. I have always had a high libido, and started masturbating from the early age of 8, or was that 9? I found some porn magazines in the attic and started to masturbate until a mild tickle, not too sure if that would be considered a orgasm? As I grew older I started to masturbate more, on average 5 times a day, and only lost my virginity when I was 20. The girl I lost my virginity with I am now engaged to, and we both love each other very much.

The problem that I am experiencing is I have gone from ejaculating from +- 5 times a day to maybe 1 or 2 times, or even 0, and its killing me! She is not too fond of me watching porn and masturbating while she is around, and I feel a little uncomfortable doing it behind her back, its not a problem when she is not around. She has just recently came off the pill and her sex drive is very low, we might have sex once or twice a week, and I absolutely hate wearing condoms... When I feel the urge I try to get her into the mood, normally whispering what I would like to do to her, and kiss her on her neck etc. She will get the message and will try to put it off as long as possible, by that time I am almost begging her and feel pretty crap about doing so...

She finally gives in and I get my way (almost), she will give me a rushed handjob which has kind of turned more into a chore, rather than pleasing me, and I don't feel satisfied afterwards. I have ADHD and pretty bad insomnia, and having a orgasm before bed relaxes me quite a bit and I sleep much better, if I don't have a orgasm before bed I constantly think about sex and arouse myself even more, to the extent that I will hardly get any sleep in. If I don't ejaculate even for 1 day I cant stop thinking about sex, so much that it disrupts me from my work and social life, I either feel like exploding into a fit of rage, or going and hiding under a blanket the whole day. Because of the lack of ejaculation these days I get aroused extremely quickly and easily, it feels like my balls are extremely tight, and a feeling of pressure behind my groin. I get so aroused that I actually start leaking pre ***, and this is just over the thoughts in my head! So all in all my multitude of problems are: My libido is too high and I love having orgasms. My girl does not sexually satisfy me, she only gives me handjobs (which are boring), and she has never given me a blowjob in the 3 years that we have been with each other, and I have tried so hard to get her to do it. It could be because of the amount of pre *** I produce when I get sexually stimulated. In fact I have never had a blowjob in my life! Like I said its hard enough just trying to get her to give me a handjob...

I really don't know where to start... Hopefully someone can give me some advice or recommendations, it will be greatly appreciated!!!

 
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Old 01-13-2012, 02:24 AM   #2
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

  1. Count the number of times you have used the personal pronoun "I".
  2. Count the number of times you have expressed positive feelings towards your girlfriend.
  3. Count the number of times you describe how you try to satisfy your girlfriend.
If you paid more attention to pleasing your girlfriend, you might be pleased with her response.
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Old 01-17-2012, 06:05 PM   #3
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

starting off at an early age has not helped....

Therapy for sex addiction comes to mind.

gee, can anyone really masturbate 5 times/day?

from what i read, seems like you are more addicted to masturbation.
Maybe you feel it is less complex to do this on yoru own rather then
the effort it takes to get her into bed, and since you probably cant
get her into bed 5 times per day, then it is easier to do it yourself....

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-17-2012 at 06:42 PM.

 
Old 01-24-2012, 08:43 PM   #4
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

Sounds like a similar situation with me. I too, have a high libido. I'm not by any means a pool of wisdom as I don't know you but I had a similar situation with my former girl friend. From my experience, there's no bigger turn-off for a women than begging for it. But if it's that important to the relationship, as it was for me - maybe the begging is inevitable. Short response is pay a lot of attention to her and her needs (not the sexual ones) and see what happens. She knows what you want. You don't have to spell it out. In my situation, I needed to move on because I could see we weren't well matched.

All the best

 
Old 11-13-2012, 05:02 PM   #5
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot Nob View Post
Right! Time to get the ball rolling and some stuff off my mind. I have always had a high libido, and started masturbating from the early age of 8, or was that 9? I found some porn magazines in the attic and started to masturbate until a mild tickle, not too sure if that would be considered a orgasm? As I grew older I started to masturbate more, on average 5 times a day, and only lost my virginity when I was 20. The girl I lost my virginity with I am now engaged to, and we both love each other very much.

The problem that I am experiencing is I have gone from ejaculating from +- 5 times a day to maybe 1 or 2 times, or even 0, and its killing me! She is not too fond of me watching porn and masturbating while she is around, and I feel a little uncomfortable doing it behind her back, its not a problem when she is not around. She has just recently came off the pill and her sex drive is very low, we might have sex once or twice a week, and I absolutely hate wearing condoms... When I feel the urge I try to get her into the mood, normally whispering what I would like to do to her, and kiss her on her neck etc. She will get the message and will try to put it off as long as possible, by that time I am almost begging her and feel pretty crap about doing so...

She finally gives in and I get my way (almost), she will give me a rushed handjob which has kind of turned more into a chore, rather than pleasing me, and I don't feel satisfied afterwards. I have ADHD and pretty bad insomnia, and having a orgasm before bed relaxes me quite a bit and I sleep much better, if I don't have a orgasm before bed I constantly think about sex and arouse myself even more, to the extent that I will hardly get any sleep in. If I don't ejaculate even for 1 day I cant stop thinking about sex, so much that it disrupts me from my work and social life, I either feel like exploding into a fit of rage, or going and hiding under a blanket the whole day. Because of the lack of ejaculation these days I get aroused extremely quickly and easily, it feels like my balls are extremely tight, and a feeling of pressure behind my groin. I get so aroused that I actually start leaking pre ***, and this is just over the thoughts in my head! So all in all my multitude of problems are: My libido is too high and I love having orgasms. My girl does not sexually satisfy me, she only gives me handjobs (which are boring), and she has never given me a blowjob in the 3 years that we have been with each other, and I have tried so hard to get her to do it. It could be because of the amount of pre *** I produce when I get sexually stimulated. In fact I have never had a blowjob in my life! Like I said its hard enough just trying to get her to give me a handjob...

I really don't know where to start... Hopefully someone can give me some advice or recommendations, it will be greatly appreciated!!!

Oh my.. i never thought i'd find someone who has the legit almost identical sexual libido as mine. You're libido is literally like mine except you're male. I started masturbating at a very young age also, about 5 or 6 and yes lmao it was like a tickle. I am really horny all the time and continuously get wet especially in my classes or when i'm procrastinating and am crunching time on a dead line. Subtly turning on a partner and them subtly turning me on drives me WILD. I give off such strong sexual energy sometimes but in the most subtlest ways and it is the biggest turn on if a partner picks up on that and does it in return but in the same way i do it, subtly. It's like omg. lol just thinking about it. It's all in my body language like subtle hints of body language just riles me. I masturbate often and whenever i masturbate i have to envision someone like a really hot experience with a partner or something from a movie etc. but it has to be with someone i know and have been physical with its so weird! It was different when i was younger though... It's weird though i love the sexual gratification but it doesn't fulfill me emotionally in fact my emotions and my sexual desire are at such odds. This is usually why i refrain from sex unless its with genuine intentions with someone i love and care for deeply.. that's because with sex for me it comes with deep emotional sacrifice. It's weird.. there's always an emotional price when it comes to sex for me.. i think its also extremely high because i have such great control over acting on my sexual desire.. I can be at the most aroused I've ever been and still not give in with a partner until i know my emotions will be fulfilled... probably because i know how untrue to myself it feels if it were otherwise. And also i can be instantly turned off... like completely turned off when i feel i am being sexually misunderstood or being used.. im a very extremely intimate person.. especially sexually. like the epitome of a body and soul lover. I want to become one with my lover emotionally physically soulfully.. It's all or nothing... I want all or nothing and sexually i reveal that which is why i don't have sex with people i don't care for.. or am not in some type of serious relationship with. Deep down i am a very sexually passionate person but am reserved on the surface until my hard exterior is broken down and my soft underbelly is revealed. When i can be extremely open and fully sexually passionate with a partner freely and comfortably without feeling judged or taken advantage of but completely understood on a sexual and soul level it is like a dream come true. I can talk for hours about everything under the sun and completely be so intimate and affectionate.. its like the highest level of passion and i must trust my lover.. completely to be able to be free and be able to keep it a secret. That's a big thing for me.. I want just to keep it between us a partner and i... literally not murmuring a word to anyone about the intimate parts in our relationship. I like the secret worlds of intimacy we get lost in to remain a secret just for us, i feel its more sacred that way. But it extremely hurts my feelings and makes me feel taken advantage of when my emotions are disregarded. If someone is just lustful even if we've shared that type of deep intimacy i desire before.. if they are lustful towards me and do not 'see' me.. feel me or are open to understanding my deep emotions at that moment i can begin to doubt our bond and relationship and be skeptical of the trust between us. It's because that type of intimacy is something that must be respected at all times for me.. its like an unspoken bond that must be there.. if that makes sense. and it can be beautiful if allowed to flutter. Lol its like us against the world type of relationship.. atleast intimately.

I partly think its because I am so sexually conservative that my libido is so high. I also find it funny how i am both restless and a night owl. lol what is your zodiac sign? I'm a virgo.. moon and venus in scorpio mars in cancer!

 
Old 11-13-2012, 05:46 PM   #6
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

Sounds like you are a little obsessed to say the least......

I can tell you that if the sex is insufficient now prior to marriage then just wait till your married, it will drop by half. Have a kid or two, half again.

You need to start out at pretty compatible level because it will drop off after marriage and kids.

So I would suggest two things

Cancel Engagment and look for a more compatible partner.

Get some therapy as you do seem to be someone overly obsessed and this is coming from a pretty high libido guy.

Good luck

 
Old 11-15-2012, 12:27 PM   #7
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Re: High libido, not enough sex

I don't know if your level of interest in sex is too unusual. You are still young and your hormones are still very high. It is possible you could be addicted to masturbating. There's a physical limitation that it seems like you should probably have reached. If you're chafing your penis, you can't keep that up. Soreness after sex/masturbation indicates some damage that can accumulate to seriously desensitize your penis (or worse) if you keep at it. To relentlessly pursue sex/masturbation despite the fact that it's damaging your penis definitely indicates a problem (IMO).

If your interest really may be excessive, you might have your gonadal hormone levels tested. Very high levels might possibly indicate bad things. Have you been examined for testicular cancer in the past 3-6 years? You might find dietary changes can lower/normalize your libido.

Personally, I think you should at least approach sex with your partner differently. Find out exactly what it is that she might want you to do differently that would make her want to have sex with you. Maybe you need to behave just slightly differently in how you indicate your interest in sex. Her declining might indicate that she doesn't enjoy sex as much as you do. You might need to make more of an effort to make her enjoy sex with you.
If she ever experiences pain or discomfort in sex, you're not doing it right. She should not. Or it's possible that your differing hormone levels are irreconcilable and you shouldn't be together.

Maybe you just need to work on other aspects of your relationship. Are you taking care of each other otherwise? It's important to talk to your partner. You need to know what she wants.

 
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