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Old 02-01-2012, 03:01 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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needhelp2012 HB User
trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

Hi All,
I'm having some difficulty in having sex with my wife - we are both virgins and just recently married and love each other. Now, I don't have a problem getting an erection, if she rubs me I can stay hard for at least 10 minutes before I explode - I only mention this, because I'd think 10 minutes is a sufficient amount of time to penetrate, no?
I'm also sure she doesn't have issues getting wet during our foreplay - I've checked and she does get quite wet. The problem then is when I try to penetrate (in the missionary position), I have at times managed to get the penis partially in but not fully enough to have sex. When I say fully enough to have sex what I mean is, if i leave it partially in and try and pull out and in for sex the penis then pops out and then during this frustration I lose my erection and then i'm not hard enough to penetrate.
The problem is whether I'm partially in or attempting to get in - is there an angle or direction I need to guide/push my penis into the vagina?Once I feel that I'm in or she tells me that she feels i'm in would i just need to push up and down from my hips as if i'm doing push ups ie moving vertically up and down. or would the up and down motion be from the hips and parallel to her body.

I know this probably sounds really basic to most of you all, but i'm just not sure what we or I am doing wrong. I guess what I'm also looking at (other than the questions I've asked) is whats the best angle that will help me get inside her and have sex. As i said before, when i'm unable to get inside her or stuggle to push in (sometimes it feels like maybe i have the angle wrong or im pushing in the wrong direction, upwards from the hip, downwards from the hip...?) i end up losing my erection.
so please if anyone has some advice/tips id appreciate it a lot
thnks

 
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:37 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Julia17878 HB User
Re: trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

OK, I can totally relate to your situation. My fiancee and I had the same problem at the beginning. We were both virgins, he was scared and I was tight as hell!
Please make sure that your wife is not only ''wet'' but very, very aroused (being wet doesn't necessarily mean she's close to coming).
If she's very aroused, her pelvic muscles shouldn't be very tensed and you should be able to slide your penis easily inside.
I, for instance, found that touching my clitoris would instantly relax my vag. and he could penetrate me more easily and deeply. We also used a lot of lube the first 2-3 times, it was very hard for him to come in.

Wish you luck and read my post if you have time (I need the oppinion of a man),
Julia

 
Old 02-03-2012, 01:44 PM   #3
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Julia17878 HB User
Re: trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

About the frustration that kills your erection... just try to relax. Ask her for a massage as a fore-play, cuddle, play, see things casually. It's not the end of the world if you push in a "wrong direction", btw. Just keep going.
P.S.: if she would relax, you would feel in which direction you have to push , you have to feel it.

 
Old 02-07-2012, 11:26 PM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Michigan
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Ethan2 HB User
Re: trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

A probable reason that you cannot insert your penis in fully may be because she is not actually wet/aroused enough.

Once she is ready, you should have no problem putting it in entirely. As for your question about the best angle, for missionary, I'd say about a 45 degree angle with respect to the bed. As for your movement question, you should be moving your hips only, unless you are run out of strength, then you may want to start using your upper body muscles.

 
Old 02-17-2012, 07:28 PM   #5
Junior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 16
titanhog HB User
Re: trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

Imagine this: if a woman was lying flat on her back with her legs spread, you would be able to slide a penis / ***** / finger inside of her at almost the same angle as the bed. There may be slight incline / decline based upon each woman's anatomy and body angle...but for the most part, it's a straight shot.

So...depending on what position you are attempting penetration...you have to take into consideration her body angle...and also remember that each woman's vaginal opening could be slightly in a different position from another woman.

Also...each vagina is different in length and circumference. I remember when I first started have intercourse, it would be tough to get the penis inside and tough to keep it inside...almost like my vagina would push it out. However...after a few times, I noticed my vagina almost had "muscle memory" and started to accept a penis easier and easier.

Also...remember that sex is as much about what's between your ears as what's between your legs...for both sexes.

For women...if we're not fully aroused and also relaxed...it can be tough to be fully penetrated and to also reach orgasm.

The one thing that really helped me get over the fear of being penetrated and relax was to experiment with sex toys. A guy can also learn alot about the angle of thrust on a specific woman by using a ***** on her. That way, you can get up close and personal and actually see how it enters her. You both can take turns with this so she can also have some control and know what it feels like.

We all started somewhere...and honestly...very few of us are ever taught how to do things properly.

 
Old 02-17-2012, 07:38 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,190
Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: trouble having sex , trouble penetrating, trouble in general

Have you solved the problem yet?

If not, all I can think of is that you can't insert fully because you can't penetrate her hymen, assumming it is intact. Maybe you should try the "cowboy" position, where you lie on your back and she straddles you from on top. This way, she can control things.

I mean, really, there is no magic angle or anything special you need to do! If her hymen is thick, it may take some measure of time and or force to penetrate, and she could remain tight and find penetration painful for some period of time before things loosen up.

You can try inserting your fingers, if you haven't already, to explore things futher. Just don't stress - these are the fun days of learning each other's bodies.

Good luck!

 
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