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Old 03-02-2012, 10:08 PM   #1
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Unhappy Help! My boyfriend gets medium soft after the second time we have sex!

So me and my boyfriend have been together a year now and he took my virginity. He only had one partner before me. He told me he had sex with his ex for 8 hours straight with a condom on which is the only way they had sex. When we had sex we would do it until he had to ejaculate, then he would put one on for the second time and he gets medium soft He blamed it on the smell of the condom the first time, then the second time he blamed it on his fear that someone will come downstairs and catch us. He would literally be inside me and be medium soft. Do you guys think he gets like that because he got used to doing it without a condom with me so now he doesn't like to use them? I am very confused and I feel self conscious because he had sex for 8 hours with minimal breaks with a condom on the whole time with her, but with me he gets medium, not hard even when he is inside me and this only happens the second time...and i'm the first that he has done it with without a condom on....HELP!

Last edited by Administrator; 03-08-2012 at 05:28 PM.

 
Old 03-04-2012, 12:39 PM   #2
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Re: Help! My boyfriend gets medium soft after the second time we have sex!

I really doubt that this has anything to do with you - don't worry! If he had sex for 8 hours... Well, that is almost ridiculous! Don't worry though, if my boyfriend and I want to go for round 2, it's almost always put to a halt when he has to pull out to change condoms. I think it's the loss of pressure on him that allows him to go soft. It's got nothing to do with you - it's probably just him getting exposed to the cold air and no pressure, even for a short amount of time.

It could be that he got used to not using them, I have been told that it's more pleasurable to not use them (especially for men), but I think that if this was the case he'd want MORE sex, to get the same feeling, instead of less.

 
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Old 03-04-2012, 01:01 PM   #3
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Re: Help! My boyfriend gets medium soft after the second time we have sex!

There are so many possibilities, it is not even worth trying to guess what it is. Never imagine it is you, that will do nothing to ease the situation for either of you, in fact, the less of a big deal you make of it, the better.

Men can feel immense pressure to perform, which in itself can ruin his chances for that flawless performance, which only leads you down the wrong road.

The best thing you can do is take each sexual experience as an individual act. Never try and link one to the other, or compare them between themselves. This is even more important if you are comparing two different partners with each other. I don't even know why the subject would even come up about the past lover.

When a situation like this comes up in the future, the best thing you can do is to be completely supportive and patient. Do not add to his already state of panic and loss of self esteem by asking him why..There could be so many reasons.

Best wishes...

 
Old 03-07-2012, 10:04 PM   #4
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Re: Help! My boyfriend gets medium soft after the second time we have sex!

WEll, I really doubt he had sex for 8 hours straight..I really do. I am not sure that is even possible. Being a man, you would either be into it and *** w/in 30-60 minutes (or 5,lol) or you would lose interest and go soft. 8 hours? Nah. I don't know what the story is, but I wouldn't believe that, he prob just wanted to impress you with that story. Sounds like he is just human like the rest of us.

 
Old 03-08-2012, 11:23 AM   #5
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Re: Help! My boyfriend gets medium soft after the second time we have sex!

It seems that most women are able to have multiple orgasms in one session and men are mostly only able to have just one strong erection. Why this is, we can only guess. For example, it maybe goes back to ancient history when the key factor to reproduction was that a woman should have as many mates as possible to increase the prospects of fertilisation. However, social trends have brought us to the situation in which such promiscuous behaviour is not acceptable.
However, because the woman usually wants more, modern man finds himself under pressure to perform beyond his natural capacity. Some young men can manage two or three orgasms but the majority find this quite difficult and they feel inadequate as a result. This ability rarely goes beyond the age of thirty.
Your man's story of 8 hour sex is probably exaggerated so don't feel bad about it. His performance with you sounds very normal.

Last edited by TopGeek; 03-08-2012 at 12:56 PM. Reason: detail

 
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