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Old 04-22-2012, 06:27 AM   #1
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Can't ejaculate during sex?

Hey,
So i recently got with my first serious girlfriend (been together for 3 months now) and i'd say 3 weeks back we thought we would try having sex. This would be the first time for both of us and we had to stop because it hurt her to much. So a week later we tried again and everything was fine. We had gone for about an hour and i just couldn't ejaculate, i thought maybe it was down to first time nerves. So another week past and we tried again but this time i hadn't masturbated for about 3 days. It felt a lot better but still after an hour i couldn't ejaculate.

Just some more information im 17 and so is she. before i met her i would be masturbating probably at least twice a day and it would only take a couple of minutes each time. I only stopped doing that after we tried the first time. could this have been an issue?

Any advice would be most welcome!

 
Old 04-22-2012, 05:04 PM   #2
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Re: Can't ejaculate during sex?

It could be an anxiety problem. After the first time, you may have been worrying about the situation rather than enjoying the experience, so the problem becomes compounded. The best way to approach sex is not to think of ejaculation as a target. The target is to give your partner an enjoyable experience. Concentrate on pleasing each other with lots of love play in all its forms, particularly gentle touching and oral stimulation. This should take your mind off your own "performance". Relax and enjoy the whole experience. You have no difficulty ejaculating on your own, so ejaculation is not a problem for you. For the moment, avoid solitary masturbation. Let your partner explore your body -- a long sensuous massage is one way of helping you to relax.
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Old 11-23-2012, 02:55 AM   #3
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Re: Can't ejaculate during sex?

Hi,

I like your reply Fles!

Tom, I had and still have the same problem, you must care for her very much and want to be a good lover.

People do get hung up about ejaculation, all my partners have, they're probably feeling the same (anxious), you'll both be nervous and want each other to be able to climax?

High expectations, don't get hung up about it, just enjoy it!

How many girls/ women have you heard talking/ complaining about sex lasting less than five minutes? Well, just be glad you can last longer!

 
Old 11-25-2012, 03:33 PM   #4
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Re: Can't ejaculate during sex?

You might need to go even longer without masturbating in order to ejaculate in a reasonable amount of time from sex. Of course this is often psychological (especially for younger men or in our early sexual experiences), but I think it's even more commonly a problem with sensitivity (especially if there's no problem when masturbating--only for sex).

Part of it is that in masturbating, we become used to exactly what works best to stimulate orgasm, but it's very hard to reproduce those conditions in sex. Masturbating feels better than sex for these men. This practically only ever happens in circumcised men. It's probably because circumcision removes 75% of the sensitivity of the penis.

If you think it's caused by low sensitivity from circumcision, there are other things you can do besides just masturbating less often. There's this thing called the "ManHood foreskin substitute". It's a soft fabric pouch to wear on the end of your penis to prevent it from desensitizing from the fabrics of clothes. Wearing it a few weeks is supposed to make quite a difference. More permanently, there's foreskin restoration--if you're interested in that. It increases sensitivity by growing new skin to protect the glans. It's never as sensitive as original foreskin, but it does add new nerve endings to the penis increasing sensitivity more than anything else possible.

 
Old 11-25-2012, 03:55 PM   #5
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Re: Can't ejaculate during sex?

Tom,

Maybe she isn't the one? The mind is very controlling of our bodies. Sex at 17 is unknown territory. Are you sure you are ready? If so, are you on any medications, or under some other stress (like her parents are in the next room) that and a whole lot more can cause a "failure to launch".

Odds are she is just as nervous about your pleasure as you are her's (but I guess your own is the driving force here) and discussing what makes each of you comfortable will go a long way to making you comfortable enough to perform.

No lecture - but if you aren't using a condom, your mind may be sending you a signal you should.

Good luck busting that nut.

 
Old 12-22-2012, 03:50 AM   #6
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Re: Can't ejaculate during sex?

Hey guys, this problem is sorted now thank you for all your help. Turns out i do have an anxiety problem and it causing a lot of distress in my life but im working around it and it did finally happen so yay

 
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