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Old 05-19-2012, 12:39 PM   #1
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Is my boyfriend gay?

Ok so this is kind of a two part thing to get the whole picture.

PART1: We have been together for 8 months now, and I'm 10 weeks pregnant with his child. He's been stressed out recently and I was asking him questions to try and ease his worry. He told me he had some personal demons, stressed about me and our relationship. His personal demons are that when he was in the air force and stationed in Japan (4 years ago) he felt very lonely because he didn't have a girlfriend and wasn't "getting laid". So he got drunk and sought out a known gay man in his company, and tried out anal sex (he was the one being penetrated). This continued every weekend for months until he was stationed back in the states. He stated that he never had a interest in being the one who penetrated, never had emotional involvement with this man (i.e. kissing, caressing, oral, etc), just him receiving anal sex. Also that this was the only man he's done this with. He's had a few women partners since then before we got together. I asked if he liked it, didn't really respond. Then I asked if anal stimulation was something he'd want us to do in the bedroom, that'd I'd be willing to give it a go, and he said it wasn't that important. Also, I asked what brought this up to his mind, and he stated that all this stress with us brought it to surface. And that he's never told anyone else besides me.

PART 2: We have had intimacy issues from the get go. He's 24, and i'm 28. I am ALWAYS the one initiating sex, and I am lucky if it happens once a week. Also, he has a hard time keeping aroused during the act, and over half the time wont ejaculate. (how i ended up getting pregnant is a miracle!) I have gently asked him about this a few times, if there's something I'm not doing etc and he states that it isn't a big deal to him to not ejaculate, and to not have sex often. that the act is fun, and that i just have a over active sex drive. I was very surprised to hear this from a 24 year old man! Not to brag, but I am a very attractive woman, who knows her fair share of tricks in the bedroom and has always received praise in the past.I am very used to past partners insisting on sex more times than I'm willing, and frankly having it a few times a day some days. So this is a complete shock. He does enjoy giving me oral, and is quite good at it. But I am very confused with all this new information combined with old issues.

So with all this information listed above, is my boyfriend gay? I just need to know before I make a further commitment to him, like marriage, since we are expecting a child together.

 
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Old 05-19-2012, 04:34 PM   #2
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Re: Is my boyfriend gay?

This is impossible for anyone to answer from here. There are many reasons for variations in sex drive; only he can really know what is going on. If there were ever a time when complete and honest communication between a couple was vital, then this is that time. You have a right to know what you are getting into with him. Having said that, there are really no tests or diagnoses for gayness, so it is up to you whether you believe that he is telling the truth. Sera

 
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