dated for 3 yrs. never had a problem with erection, new girl now i can't get it up - Sexual Health - Men Message Board

xxrollinxx · 01-20-2003, 11:33 AM

I dated the same girl for 3 years, and just recently broke up with her. The sex was always awesome and she didn't even have to touch me to make me get an erection. Now I have a new girlfriend and i can only stay hard when she is giving me oral sex. One i put it in her i almost immediately go limp. What do you think this could be. I'm getting ready to rob a pharmacy for viagra!

chitrick · 01-20-2003, 12:01 PM

A couple of things could be happening. Three years is a pretty long time to be with your old girlfriend. Is it possible that she is still on the back of your mind, when trying to have sex with the new girl? If so...maybe you have some "sub" conscious guilt. It's pretty difficult NOT to get hard during oral. On the other hand...it can sometimes be difficult to STAY hard during intercourse, especially if you have some of that hidden guilt.

The other possibility, is that the new girl just feels different from what you have gotten accustomed to. Was your old girlfriend nice and tight, while the new one is not so snug maybe? Or...did your old gf move in a certain way, that the new one doesn't?

I'd say to give it a little time. You might just have to get over the old one; and get more comfortable with the new one.

Dramaqueen · 01-20-2003, 01:10 PM

Hey-I think maybe your in the time of a relationship where everythings good but theres still that little bit of nervousness and you both don't feel quite comfortable.

Also, hey you just broke up with your long term gf--you loved her probablly-you might be feeling really hurt-your used to what shes like during sex. Let these feelings pass then maybe you and your new girl can get a little more action.

And don't worry-i'm 100% sure its nothing physical!

SkipperK · 01-20-2003, 03:41 PM

Been there done that. It is basicly the newness of the relationship. You are still not too comfortable with this new girl. I had a simular experience. After a long term relationship where I could get hard at the slight touch of the girl I was with. I went to a new relationship where all of a sudden other then Oral sex seemed to be tough to keep the erection especially when it was time to put on a condom or go in. I was like shocked cause that was so not me. I never had problems with my old girlfriend! Yet I've have relized that it has sometimes happened in the very begining of the relationships I had. The less I thought about it and the more I felt comfortable with my new partner that problem went away. Now she tells me that she is very happy she didn't give up on me in the begining. So hopefuly your gf is also understanding and things will get better for you. I guess its all about being confident , feeling safe (knowing there are no stds to harm you) and trust between you two. So all will work out just keep at it and try not to think about the problem cause it will not go away if you ponder on it. I swear sometimes the penis is so sensative and lets us down at the wrong moments.

Autumn Angel · 01-20-2003, 09:04 PM

I think so too...I think you still arent over your ex whether its in the back of your mind or what. Maybe oral sex isnt as intimate for some people where intercourse is the ultimate closenss and you fell the loss of your ex subconsiously. Hope things change for you.

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Cheers...Autumn
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