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Old 02-23-2003, 03:45 PM   #1
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Post Erection but no orgasm

Hello, I'm hoping someone can help me figure out what's going on with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. He's 52, very overweight. Has high blood pressure but doesn't take medication. Only seems to be able to have sex first thing in the morning, or maybe afternoon -- never at night, he can't sustain an erection. Anyway, the situation for the morning or afternoon sex is that he has no problem getting an erection. He commences intercourse pretty quickly (maybe afraid he'll lose it?) and seems to sustain the erection, but eventually he withdraws (still seems erect to me) with no orgasm -- if I go by the usual familar signs. Once in awhile, he'll imply during intercourse that some semen has leaked out ("oops") but can that happen without an orgasm? In any event, does anyone know why he wouldn't be able to achieve orgasm? I have never discussed this with him. Obviously a sensitive subject to begin with. Now it's been so long that it would be weird to bring it up. Oh, he has 2 grown kids so he obviously was able to have orgasms at some point in his life. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

 
Old 02-23-2003, 04:03 PM   #2
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Oh, and after reading some other posts, here's a couple more facts: He doesn't seem to want oral sex -- if I start it, he seems to enjoy it but pulls me up soon after. So now I don't even bother. I don't know if he masturbates, we sure don't talk about that either. And lastly, when I say there's no evidence of orgasm -- there are none of the physical indications plus there's no semen leakage from me. Help!

 
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Old 02-25-2003, 10:07 AM   #3
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Hmm. Strange thing you're describing. I'm not sure I can help in any way, but I will say that I had the experience of ejaculating without an orgasm. So far that happend only once or twice in my life during masturbation, when I was masturbating really long. Then it would just start to come, pretty much like a normal ejaculation, but completely without the intense feelings you'd normally expect.
Can't say more concerning your problem without looking in a crystal ball...

 
Old 02-25-2003, 04:47 PM   #4
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O.k. the fact that he can only have it first thing in the a.m. could be because that's when men's testosterone levels tend to be at their daily peak.

He's 52, and overweight, with high blood pressure. That's not a good combo.
He should really try to excersise.......etc. You know the deal.

Has he been checked for diabetes?? This may be worth looking into.

He could probably take Viagra effectively. Viagra actually descreases one's blood pressure, so I don't see it being a problem SINCE he's not currently taking meds to lower his blood pressure (in that case Viagra and the med could lower it too much).
He should see a doctor anyway though since he'll need a prescription.

Although it's true that men can have orgasms without full erections, in his case the fact that his erections aren't very good and long lasting may be prohibiting the orgasm/ejaculation.

NOTE: see other threads. Many of us have gone into great detail of the mechanics and psychological aspects of male sexual response.

NOTE: Also, at 52, he should have a full physical and blood testing for diabetes, testosterone (free and total), thyroid, and psa at the very least. The doc will know what he needs, but he should request the testosterone test also.

Good luck.

 
Old 02-25-2003, 06:19 PM   #5
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Thank you for your comments and suggestions. He's too macho to go to the doctor or take Viagra ("don't need it"), and unfortunately, I don't feel comfortable discussing either topic with him -- performance issues or his health risks. He thinks he's indestructible. Well, I guess I'll have to live with it....his lack of orgasm doesn't really bother me, it just seemed weird as well as the seeming dislike of oral sex. Maybe someday we'll have a relationship that's open enough to discuss these uncomfortable topics without worrying about his male ego. Thanks again, you guys are great.

 
Old 02-25-2003, 08:02 PM   #6
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Hey, why don't YOU just buy him some Viagra online. You can get the real deal without a prescription from any number of online pharmacies. Try menspharmacy. They should have it. When you get some, see if he'll take a 25 mg tablet. If you have it, he may take it just for kicks. Who knows, maybe he'll decide that it's worth it.

 
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