this is more like a word of caustion than a question.
i recently witnessed a really bad break up of close friends who from the outside and from what they tell/show me is in a very loving, serious, caring, understanding relationship. due to reason unknown to me (and it will remain that way) they broke up in bad terms, VERY BAD TERMS. well anyways, their break-up ended up to be a public events (well they broke up in front of their close friends), and words and obscenities were thrown back and forth.
of course there were the usual break up stuff, but from what i saw and felt the clincher was when she blurted out that he is lousy in bed, and has a really small penis. of course he delivered his own comeback, but the conversation pretty much ended there. the look on his face was utter disappointment and disgust and embarrassment, i noticed this but not by others, cuz by this time no one wanted to look at them directly.
the guy later revealed to me after some majoy cooling off, that what she said about his skills and equipment completely shattered his ego, and it showed now in his actions and behavior and is completely depressed, added to the fact that he just broke up with his first love.
my point is, for the females out there, do no, DO NOT, in any situation criticize the size of a guys equipment. doing so will be the quickest way to destroy a guys ego, self-image, and his whole being. no matter how confident, secure a guy is about his body, that subject matter is as sensitive and important to him as being a great mother to a female. i really felt bad for the guy, he was one of the most confident, secure and happy people i know. her words completely shattered his perception of himself.
just a word of caution to others out there, don't criticize a guy in that department, its their ultimate, no matter how hard they cover it up or accept it, relfection of their manhood. its how they size up their lives, past, present, or future.
another this i would like to point out. i know all of your responses are in the best interest and i truly believe that. and that the reason why were are gathered here is to help, console, give support to each other.
many say to get over it, or don't pay attention to it, and so forth, but is never that easy to just forget or ignore. its easier said than done. this is so true in my case. its taking me alot of effort and time to see myself in a good light and just imagine what its like for others.
Originally posted by inquisitor:
many say to get over it, or don't pay attention to it, and so forth, but is never that easy to just forget or ignore. its easier said than done. this is so true in my case. its taking me alot of effort and time to see myself in a good light and just imagine what its like for others.
Hey You! I think you're refering to your other post here and if that's true, I just want to say: I don't think anyone's saying just get over it or ignore it. Regarding your sexual confusion, I personally wish you to know that you are going through something normal. Everyone at some point in their young life (20's is young) questions themselves. In fact some always will.
With regard to being bi, gay, or straight, there's no doubt that it's easier being straight in today's society then gay/bi, but so what? If you feel you have leanings that way but are avoiding it b/c of fear, you must be brave and true to your inner feelings. You will get your self esteem from that.
With regard to self-esteem: You will be proud of you, when you do good things for you and others. Realize you are more than merely what you are into or not into sexually. You are a *whole* person with value and abilities and people that love and care about you and need you. You are a son, a friend, a... you fill in the blanks....
Self esteem: It aint easy to get, but, the words are easy to understand. Self (you) esteem (like).... The only way to get it, is for you to like you. (I'm working on it too!) Just do it. There's no other way. Start by defining what you value in people, in life. Make a list. I MEAN IT!! Then look at how you are living, feeling. Are you true to the things you wrote on the list? Are you doing things for others? Sometimes it helps to actually take the focus off yourself.
Life's a journey not a destination. It's like this for all of us. Just when you think you get it, it changes and you have to start all over again.
I have to add my two cents. That being that the goal of the woman in the story was EXACTLY to hurt this fellow. She WANTED to destroy this guy's ego, self-image, etc. Men say nasty things during break-ups too. Telling people to stop doing it "because it works" is not going to be very effective.
Every man knows how big his penis is, having a woman tell him it's big or little doesn't make it big or little. If I guy can't accept that, too bad for him. (also the equivalent of being a great mother to a female is a little off the mark, since not all women are mothers yet are no less women - it is not an ultimate refection of their womanhood).
As for being told you're no good in bed during the heat of an argument, you have to take that for what it's worth, at attempt at hurting you. It's only as successful as you let it be.
While I do feel very sorry for this guy (and possible for the girl since you never said what the comeback was) I think it's even sadder that "[a guys equipment is] their ultimate, no matter how hard they cover it up or
accept it, reflection of their manhood. its how they size up their lives, past, present, or future."
Now THAT is sad. (If it's actually true, which I hope it isn't.)
what i saw and felt the clincher was when she blurted out that he is lousy in bed, and has a really small penis. of course he delivered his own comeback, but the conversation pretty much ended there.
I am quite curious....what did he exactly say to her??? Dont get me wrong, I do feel sorry for this guy, but if he striked back, im sure her ego is shattered too.
just wanted to say this... 
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