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Old 06-19-2003, 07:03 AM   #1
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Post pausing during sex

whenever my boyfriend and i have sex, he always has to stop thrusting for a few seconds to prevent finishing in the middle of sex. we'll be goin at it, and all of a sudden he'll just be still for a few seconds. this totally frusterates me b/c ill be right at the edge of an orgasm and he'll hafta pause for a second and i wont get off. what can be done about this?

 
Old 06-19-2003, 08:34 AM   #2
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Communication, communication, communication.

I first would let him know that you are about to orgasm and for him not to stop. Hopefully, he won't be at that point too and you can orgasm. If he is close to ejaculating, he can either squeeze his PC muscles or you can lightly pull down on his scrotum to help him not orgasm. Make sure he lets you know that he is about to ejaculate so you are aware of his "status".

The good thing is he is trying to prolong his love making so you can get off.

Just talk to him about your orgasm and when it usually starts to happen so he knows. Also, you should talk to him about his and how and when his starts. Maybe try and do it at the same time. Have fun experimenting but talk to him about it.

Does he just stop or does he pull out? Does he keep stimulating you when he stops? Can you orgasm only once? Does he usually ejaculate quickly? There can be a lot more to this whole thing too.



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Old 06-19-2003, 01:39 PM   #3
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Please understand how difficult it can be for a man to hold back an orgasm. Women really can't comprehend how difficult this can be. Everything in the male body is geared to ejaculating, and there is little left to hold it back. While it is frustrating to you for him to stop (which he does to prevent himself from climaxing), it is to him, too.

Men can certainly learn how to gain some control, and some men are better at it that others, yet most men, at times, will be unable to control it when they are super excited.

One techniqe I recommened is for him to alternate between missionary-position intercourse and oral sex. When he is about to reach the point of no return, he pulls out and gives you oral sex for a while, before resuming intercourse. This cycle can be repeated several times. Many women find this very arousing, and it allows the female stiulation to be maintained, but gives him a break and a chance to calm down.

Like was suggested, communicate and let him know what you are feeling. Still, note that if you are close, but he is closer, and you tell him not to stop, he may not be able to hold back. In this case, some women find it stimulating to have the man stay inside them while they bring themselves off manually.

Please, don't blame your lover too much, but feel free to discuss with him this issue and say you want to help him. If you put pressure on him, things will only get worse.

 
Old 06-19-2003, 03:57 PM   #4
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Him pausing is him trying to stop orgasming early... which is a good thing. I would talk to him, and be a bit more vocal during the sex. Let him know when you're about to orgasm, so he'll know to pace better.

 
Old 06-19-2003, 06:52 PM   #5
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My best advice for this problem ( and tust me this will work ) is to start out with some foreplay, give him oral until he ejaculates the first time, then let him do the whole oral thing on you for just a few, by that time the head of his penis wont be so sensitive. After he does the oral on you for a few then go about it and when he sticks it in he will last so much longer im tellin you this is the best way because hes already released once and it takes along longer the second and third and so on time.

 
Old 06-20-2003, 11:58 AM   #6
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Communicate is right.

If he is ready to orgasm at the same time you are, then tell him not to stop and go ahead and orgasm together. IT IS AWESOME. If you are not ready but you know you will eventually, let him know so he can hold back. My husband can hold back. If I know I am not going to orgasm, then I just let him do his thing.

 
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