So glad I found this site and found that I wasn't the only one with this problem. I thought I'd share with you my experience and a possible solution, since this site has been a great help to me.
I have a beautiful gf whom I love very much, but my first time having sex (which was with her) was not so great as I have a very tight foreskin and it hurt very much.
I did not feel much sensation, as the pain kinda overrode that! Even now, I don't feel that much with the condom on and I use ultra thins too - it takes a very long time to ejaculate, if I do at all. It feels a lot better without a condom (when she uses contraceptives) and I don't last very long as it doesn't really hurt at all. I hope with continued stretching, it won't hurt as much and will start to feel better.
But anyway, what I'm posting about is that the first time, after about 20-30 minutes of doing it, I lost my erection because of the pain. I was not feeling very good about this, as my gf thought it was her (even though I assured her that it was me and my tight foreskin).
The next time we were both very horny, and although it hurt, we had pretty rough sex and I came pretty quick in about 15 minutes, but my foreskin was very stretched that time and hurt for about a week! I had no problem that time with my erection. I also never have any problems with maintaining an erection when we do it without a condom.
After that, sometimes I had the problem where I couldn't maintain an erection after I put the condom on, or when we were changing positions. It was very frustrating and it made me feel very bad about myself. Nearly every time after that, my penis went down after I put the damn condom on. This was not doing me and my gf's sex life any good, so we stopped trying for a while and did other stuff like oral sex.
Everyone has said just to relax and not think about it, but every time, it was just too hard not to think about it... I'd worry about it going down... as much as I tried not to, it just happened!
But there's some good news... I thought I'd try a new way. I got my gf to put the condom on me, and as she was doing that, I was thinking of a porno movie that I had watched and kept thinking of me and my gf doing the same thing. I kept picturing the porno in my head, to distract me from worrying about my penis going down. It took my gf quite a while to get the condom on and I was worried that it would go down, but I kept thinking about the porno. When she go it on, I was still hard as a rock and we did it for the first time in a few weeks!
Of course I wasn't fantasising about doing it with a porn star... I was merely imagining the scene of 2 people doing it to distract me from worrying about my erection! And a porn scene is obviously of that nature to keep your erection up. Also, stroking your penis before you put it inside her also helps it get a bit harder for her
I really hope this helps some of you out there. I have read so many posts here of this problem, and I was so worried that I would never get around this vicious cycle.
My problem now is that with a condom, I still take ages to ejaculate (at least 30 minutes), if I do at all... I don't feel much with the condom on. Any ways to speed this up? I am very turned on by my gf and she pleasures me very well. I want to ejaculate faster so it makes her feel better about herself. She worries that I take so long and that she's not turning me on, but that's not the case!
[This message has been edited by mr_dik (edited 07-06-2003).]