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Old 07-07-2003, 10:04 AM   #1
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Post how long would you put up with your girlfriend/wife if ....

How long would you put up with your girlfriend/wife if there was no sex?

I dont mean that there's no sex because the relationship has gone sour, i mean there's never been sex ever, never will be, imagine a sexless relationship not as something abnormal but as the norm.


 
Old 07-07-2003, 11:00 AM   #2
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Hi CrazyCAt
I was here posting another question and I hope you donít mind I answer your post being that I am a female.
I have to ask you when you say...NEVER will have sex, can you be a little more specific? I think it would depend on mediating circumstances. Is she physically disabled in some way that prevents the 2 of you from being sexually active? Is it a belief system on her part? If so, then you need to reconsider the relationship if you two donít share the same believes. I would imagine that would put a strain on things. Like I said, if you could be more specific as to why you say ďnever will have sexĒ it would help to answer your question.

 
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:10 AM   #3
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Hi Pippin,

I think I was answering your post whilst you were answering mine, heh. Ok, more specifics... Well i'm having a bit of trouble putting into words just what exactly i mean, but no, i dont mean no sex due to health problems or lack of sex drive or anything like that. What i mean is try to imagine that sex didnt exist at all, that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend and all that implicated was just hanging out, watching videos, seeing friends etc.... in other words all the activities you would do with your partner.... but it's a sexless world.

You think we'd still fall in love and want to share our lives and homes with that person?

 
Old 07-07-2003, 11:11 AM   #4
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Hi Pippin,

I think I was answering your post whilst you were answering mine, heh. Ok, more specifics... Well i'm having a bit of trouble putting into words just what exactly i mean, but no, i dont mean no sex due to health problems or lack of sex drive or anything like that. What i mean is try to imagine that sex didnt exist at all, that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend and all that implicated was just hanging out, watching videos, seeing friends etc.... in other words all the activities you would do with your partner.... but it's a sexless world.

You think we'd still fall in love and want to share our lives and homes with that person?

 
Old 07-07-2003, 11:21 AM   #5
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Thatís a toughie!! I guess it would depend on how much I care about someone. How long are we talking? A few months...a few years...??
If it were ..say...5-6 months of no hankie panky ..I would still hold on I think. The end result could be mind blowing. Is she a virgin by chance? If and when you try to initiate sex, what does she say? Have you 2 talked about it? Why isnít she willing?

 
Old 07-07-2003, 01:08 PM   #6
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I will assume you mean your girlfriend won't have sex with you. Although this can be frustrating, it sounds to me like she doesn't want to have sex until she is engaged or married. If this is the case, then yes if I loved her and wanted to marry her I would wait it out. I would want to make sure she is willing to have sex once she was in a committed relationship which in her case is (marriage). But I don't find it odd of her to not want any sex until that time. It is her right to have or not have sex before marriage, if it's a part of her beliefs. It is up to you to decide if you are willing to except these terms and wait. If she isn't the woman you want as your wife then I would say it's time to end the relationship. If this woman is already married to you and doesn't want sex then I say you have problems.

 
Old 07-07-2003, 01:28 PM   #7
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sorry, double post. keeps happening. please read the second one as thats where my full question is.

[This message has been edited by crazy_cat (edited 07-07-2003).]

 
Old 07-07-2003, 01:31 PM   #8
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No, no no.... I havent explained myself well enough. This is not my situation, I am a female by the way....
My question is purely abstract, I'd like to know how important sex really is. Do you think if sex didnt exist at all, for anyone, no one had ever tried sex, no one knew what it was, no one ever getting horny... would we still establish exclusive relationships with the opposite sex? That's the question. My opinion is that sex is the basis for all relationships and the reason we stay with our partners, it's also the reason we eventually tire of them and look for other partners.

Can anyone imagine a life where sex just didnt exist? and how would that affect our love lives, or wouldnt a love life exist at all, no love, no romance??? yeah, thats the question, anyone?

I'd almost forgotten the main question here, which initially i directed towards men, not sure why, but i'd be interested to hear from women too. How many things to you "put up with" because of sex? and how would you really deal with certain situations that anger, upset you if it wasnt because up get sex from that person?

[This message has been edited by crazy_cat (edited 07-07-2003).]

 
Old 07-07-2003, 02:17 PM   #9
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To be honest...sometimes I would prefer it that way..no sex
Then again, I am female and I have heard some of my friends say the same thing.
Itís a tough question to answer. If no one ever had sex, knew what it was, etc...it wouldnít be that big of a deal. You canít miss what you donít have, right ???
However, all species were ordained with a desire to pro-create and that is what sex is initially for.
I think relationships would still ignite even without sex, if sex didnít exist. People have a natural desire to bond with others for learning, companionship, healing, etc...
Like I said, itís a tough one...deep question. I donít even know if I am articulating my thoughts properly. The short and sweet version...I think if sex never existed, we as humans would still form a relationship.
Since sex does exist, I donít think relationships in the manner of husbands/wives wouldnít survive. It has been my experience that when they arenít satisfied with their partner (little or no sex) they eventually look else where (mitigating circumstances are the exception I suppose). I am interested in what men think about this issue to.....Good one Crazy_Cat. Itís especially interesting asking this question when nobody knew you were a female or what your original intentions were. See, for me I thought you were a guy who was fed up with his non-existent sex life. See the difference in my answer now that I know you are female and asking an entirely different question!?!? I jumped to the conclusion and gave the sociably acceptable answer, unfortunately. Sorry...

 
Old 07-08-2003, 10:05 AM   #10
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I'm male and yes sex is important, but personally getting to know that person and their values is alot more important to me. In fact I was dating this girl for the past 4-5 months and we never had sex and she made it clear that she wouldn't until she felt comfortable and fully trust me. We made out like crazy as far as just kissing, but no type of sexual activity at all. Which was somewhat frustrating at times cause I would come home and take super cold showers. Being around her was like being a kid around Christmas time...you can touch and feel the gifts that are wrapped up, but you can't open them to play with...sucks...Anyways she broke up with me last week for the stupidest reason...but thats a different story

 
Old 07-08-2003, 10:21 AM   #11
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I can somewhat relate.

I've been with my girlfriend for the past five years (well, almost five years). We've never had actual intercoarse though we've done everything else. We're both in college and don't want to risk anything, but at the same time...we're young adults.

I sort of skimmed through the post so I'm not sure if there is nothing NOTHING or just not intercoarse. If you really like her/love her, then I don't know how big of an issue it is. I guess it all depends...

Good luck.

 
Old 07-09-2003, 01:39 AM   #12
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Sex is for fun, intercourse is for making life.

 
Old 07-09-2003, 07:19 PM   #13
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15 years...that's how long I went w/o

 
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