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Old 07-11-2003, 12:05 AM   #1
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Post Ex-girlfriend fantasies

Hmm...this may seem like a silly question, but it's really been bothering me.

My last serious relationship was with a girl who I did truly care about, but with whom I had little in common with besides enjoyment of sex. Still, we ended up getting engaged and she got pregnant with our child before she left me. She proceeded to badmouth me to all my friends and even my parents, and she currently seeks to deny me the right to have any say into the fate of my child. She has made my life miserable and has emotionally hurt me in very profound ways.

Yet, when I masturbate, I still tend to think about her, and my orgasms are fairly strong when I do think about her. I try so hard not to, but the thoughts keep coming.

What's up with that?

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Old 07-11-2003, 06:16 AM   #2
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Hey man, fantasies are just that, no big deal. She was obviously an important part of your life for a while and sex was part of that...totally normal to masturbate to those memories. I'd suspect that sometime soon another one will take her place. Until, cut yourself some slack big deal. I hope she will eventually allow you to have some say in the life of your child...and that this has taught you an important lesson about being more careful!

Old 07-12-2003, 06:29 PM   #3
big boy
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she can't keep you from your child take her to court

Old 07-16-2003, 05:03 AM   #4
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tmotsoane HB User

i agree with big boy, i think you should take her to court. that should work, provided that you saying that you can look after the kid when you gain custody of the child. but before you do all this, you need to talk to her about it, warn her. if things according to her won't work between the two of you, then proceed with the court!

Old 07-16-2003, 11:47 AM   #5
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You said yourself that you enjoyed the sex with her. Just because the relationship has gone sour, doesn't mean what you two did together sexually suddenly becomes bad too. You obviously have some pretty good memories of the sex that you would still masturbate to them. And they are also your most recent memories, therefore probably the strongest.

For years I had an ex-boyfriend with whom I'd had great sex - but I wouldn't go back with him to save the world - and my fantasies would turn to him even after subsequent boyfriends. (Fortunately, I have a much better/hotter replacement now.) Didn't mean I wanted him for real, it was just something to masturbate to that worked well at the time.

Anyway, just because you are fantasizing about her doesn't mean you are still in love with her and want her back. Just that the sex was good. (Unless of course, you are still in love with her and want her back, but that's not relevant to the fantasies. You can keep them separate in your analysis.)

As for your child, keep strong and don't let her get away with it - even if it means legal action. Hopefully your friends and family can see both sides to this bad situation, they are your friends and family, after all...

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