problem with g/f talking about other men penis size
Hi,
My g/f has a habit of commenting on other males penis size - (he's) so big and all that - and it bugs the crap out of me
I should add that we are both polyamourous and swingers (She brought me into the lifestyle), and I don't have as much of a problem with that - (as long as I can get some action), which is harder for the man to get action ,anyway, even when I watched her take on four men, one after another (the were a shortage of heterosexual women at that particular party)
Anyway, I can usually satisfy her very well - she sees colors, and frequently has multiples, and I may be a little short, but certainly make up for it in width, (I guess, since I have to use a MAXIMUM SIZE CONDOM) and my oral talents are great, however at one pagan gathering she seemed more glowing than usual - this was when she was going away with her other boyfriend, who she has since broken up with.
She is much more visual that I am - I don't care so much how women look - it's how they touch, and how sensual they are - so, we seem to be different in that regard
Also, flaccid size has little to do with anything, it erect size where these things get measured.
AND I feel stupid worrying about this - We do a lot of nude events in addition to swinging, so this could come up more -
I feel like it is just MEAN of her to say this in front of me - she also said, to another woman at a bookstore when I was there - it was the title of a book - Does size matter ? And she said -Well, YES - and I felt like leaving her right then -
You must be a glutton for punishment? What do you expect from a swinger lifestyle? Top it off, she sounds like a size queen. Find a mongamous relationship with someone who isn't a size queen.
__________________
Your mind is your greatest weapon...
If that's your ONLY problem with the situation, I suggest you take the good with the bad. IF you okay with the entire exeperience BUT the fact that she likes a swinging swinger, go for it and when you get tired of it move on.
You are finding out all the pit falls of swinging. It sounds like you have been around the block a few times. I would guess you know thatyou not have the smallest or the biggest penis in the world.
Have you ever said to your gf, that woman has hug boobs or how great she @#@@ ....
If you are insecure, jealous, or emotionaly unable to cope ,ie. you feel bad after it is all over than maybe you need to get out of the lifestyle.
I think it is a great fantasy world but I couldn't live the real life of a swinger for all of the above reasons.
THanks GW, RIX, JD, and BRAD for some excellent advice and perspective. I needed some outside thoughts on this.
Yes I am struggling with some of the swinging lifestyle - I am not a "natural" - like she is and have a problem seperating sex from love - BUT, as JD and RIX says, when I get tired of it, I will move on.
And, I haven't been in it that long -
Also, in this lifestyle, there is opportunity for growth - in terms of communication - and lots of plusses, in addition to the pleasure - such as learning about different women and men, and getting a broader perspective - dealing with issues of power and communication - etc.
For example, it has pushed me into exploring Jelking, and exploring Tantra with a purpose - now that I have something to compare it to - I have gotten to know a lot of different people, in different ways (More than just sex, since it does break down a lot of barriers quickly)- and I think what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, so, when I have learned what there is to learn, I will probably move on
As far as a monogamous relationship, that's fine - but then the issue of marriage, committment, and what does a partnership look like without kids (I am 49) but that's a whole nother discussion board
Hi. A relationship without kids--looks FINE. That's for sure. Much less stress and more time for each other. You might want to look into a one on one, and just see if you like it better. Most of us are too jealus to be a real swinger! These things creep up sometimes.
problem with g/f talking about other men penis size 
