i just read a posting from a woman a few weeks ago and i thjought my own experience might shed some light - if only a little. and i want to know what guys have to say...
my bf and i watch and download porn from the web - sometimes alone sometimes together - and he is definately into the facials thing. i have been baffled so we have talked and no for him its not about humiliation or degradation (he has no uncertain respect for women) its about thinking that his semen is like "the nectar of the gods" as we jokingly put it.
he once ejaculated on my face by accident and once i asked him to but, its not regular practice for us, mostly because i'd rather him come in my mouth or inside of me.
still, i'm thinking there is more to it, so i'd be curious to see what guys say
[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 07-03-2003).]
Don't let him kid you....it IS a degradation thing...or at least a male power thing. It's also mainly a "porn thing" I like porn movies too but even as a guy I never "got" facials. It's much more erotic to ejaculate in a woman's mouth on her ****, stomach or ***. But really you are right...real people (not porn actors) prefer ejaculating INSIDE a woman. But, that isn't cinematographically interesting so the porn directors came up with the facial or "money shot"
[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 07-03-2003).]
Originally posted by elco: Don't let him kid you....it IS a degradation thing
Oh, please! That's such a blanket statement. Men may want to ejaculate on a woman's face for a variety of reasons! A beautiful woman may just look better with a nice splash of spooge running off her face as it's lost in the throws of ecstasy. It's about making it more exciting for the man, and hopefully the woman, too. I would think that if you really love your partner totally, inside and out, then having anything that comes out of them all over you would not be a problem, except in the case of their excremental deposits.
So if I'm laying on my back and my girlfriend is 'sitting on my face' am I being degraded? (I like this position as I can do her orally and when she leans forward massage her breasts at the same time)
Is ejaculate more 'demeaning' than vaginal secretions?
I've never understood why in a respectful, caring relationship facials can be considered degrading. Sperm is not a waste product although a lot of women seem to think so. And yes I've tasted my own and even licked it off my gf's face.
You're right it is a blanket statement. Look, here's the deal with facials.....in the 60's and 70's you didn't see it that often in porn. It really started in the late 80's. Now I'm not saying "real" people didn't do it back in the old days but I'm thinkin alot of guys these days are just trying to copy what they are seeing in today's porn movies. It's like anal....you hardly ever saw it before about 10 years ago and when you did it was like....WOW....look at that! Now it's all anal all the time and all facials all the time.
Most porn directors just crank out the product and never try to come up with anything new. They just copy what everyone else is doing and the audience starts to copy what they see in the movies.
I still think it represents a power thing...and perhaps a degredation of women thing (at least to the porn guys- you guys obviously don't see it that way, which is cool) I just find it boring because it's turned into an overused porn cliche.
[This message has been edited by elco (edited 07-03-2003).]
i have to thank you for your replies. its helpful - reminding me of course that what turns people on is about as varied and individual as we humans are, and yes, the bottom line is that i love the guy, i know he loves me, and im lucky to have someone to explore all this stuff with. (and its good to have a place to go to ask questions anonymously)
i also thank you because i got flack for my questionon the women's site - oh well.
I think if you're willing to let him do it then go right ahead! Personally me and my partner dont feel it to be a male power trip at all, more of a fantasy where my semen is an absolute must have, either in the mouth or mouth area - so yeah! A bit like your "nectar of the gods" hehehe...
"also thank you because i got flack for my questionon the women's site - oh well." <--- Same here, seems like some of users forget the fact we here to post for ADVICE, not JUDGEMENT....
[This message has been edited by Samisunrider (edited 07-05-2003).]
I think it's mostly a visual thing. If a man ejaculates inside a woman neither he nor his partner get to see the ejaculation occuring. To some people, men and women alike, watching the ejaculation occur is exciting. Could it occur into a tissue or onto a woman's stomach or breasts just as well...sure. Are there some people who are turned on by it being released onto a woman's face instead..sure. Could that be degrading to the female partner...depends on what she likes or doesn't like. It should be based on what BOTH partners like. If the woman objects then it doesn't belong done in the relationship.
Finally, care needs to be taken in a non-monogamous relationship if partners indulge in this practice because ejaculating onto a woman's face could result in semen coming into contact with the female's mucous membranes, eyes, etc which sets up the potential for the transmission of STD's icluding HIV.
Interesting topic. For some men I think giving a facial is a form of dominition, while for others it is nothing but a fantasy, possibly spawned by looking at porn, and they will do anything to get their mates to indulge them. I agree that the visual sight of semen coming out can be arousing for many, and many men who see this in porn are fasinated by it and want to act it out in real life.
I can understand why many women would not want to do this. Semen is, afterall, not exactly pleasent to smell, and getting it out of hair and eyebrows can be difficult. Also, many women don't want to play the role of a porn actress and view being the recepient of a load of semen in the face as represive and repugnant.
I can understand this view, and while one could argue that allowing a facial is a sign of love from the woman, a woman could instead say that a man who wants to do this is not showing love for her as, again, he is asking her to put up with smelly and sticky semen all over her, and what does she get out of this? I mean, the man gets a grand orgasm, and she gets a face of yuck! Plus, the man is treating her like the ho in a porn flick.
I don't really see any harm in the woman letting the man occasionally ejacluate in her face, though. You might want to confine this activity to the show or bath, though. Some men will find you absoluately beautiful with your face dripping with semen and will treat you to a better sex life in return.
If you are a women and find this repugnant, think about it before dismissing it. If you view it as a way for you to gain some power over you man, and this will give you some power over him, it might change your outlook. As disgusting as semen might be for you, the time between first squirt and the shower can be as short as 30 seconds. Is that really so bad? But, if you really don't want to do it, then don't, but understand your mate might end up holding back on you a little bit, too.
With my gf we both enjoy facials. It isn't something that we are trying to imitate porn or a domination thing. We just enjoy watching each other orgasm and the visual aspect is huge for us. We don't do this activity all of the time but some of the time. It is more a heat of the moment thing.
I just say talk about it and if you want to try something different then go for it. If you don't then don't.
The only thing I never understood is when I'm going down on my partner and she has an orgasm all over my face, I'm supposed to be fine but when I ejaculate on her face I'm following what I saw in a porn video. I just don't get it.
Just my opinion; but I find it absolutely disgusting. At least the way it is done in recent porn--I won't even watch it--and it's free on my sat dish!! Porn has lost all creativity--same old stuff over and over. I also find it is degrading to the poor girl getting shot at. Not very many look like they are in the throes of exctasy doing it either. I think it is comparing it to a "golden shower" if the female was the shooter.
Just my opinion though--funny my wife thinks I am too kinky---sound square here.
I THINK IT IS UP TO THE BOTH OF YOU, BUT NO WAY SHOULD HE EVEN CONSIDER IT WITHOUT ASKING.
Frankly I am not into it, and I have never brought it up and my current g/f's or past ones never aksed. I frankly do think it is degrading, but my views do not make it right or wrong.
I also would consider the issue of std's and iads make sure yoou know who he was with before and vice versa.
I am pretty out going sexually and I started very young, but I have never watched Porn, not into it, besides I think so much of it must be fake anyway. But to each his own. Funny thing is my g/f wants me to consider posing for playgirl and I really am too shy to do that either.
If you want to know more about sex and what to do, my g/f and I use books on sexual positions.
I do repeat, make sure you all to well the guy you let shoot onto you, cinsdering what it can mean 4 your health.