It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Men Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-18-2003, 08:16 AM   #1
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 48
tmotsoane HB User
Question turn around

my g/f has now decided to be all religious, we were having a great intimate time before this. now we can't even undress anymore. this is bugging me because i'm so used to bieng turned on and playing around with genitals. what sould i do??

 
Old 07-18-2003, 08:45 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,640
Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Post

You're in a tough spot...either learn to deal with it and control yourself or if its that important and you simply can't do that...you'll have to find another girl to do those things with. Thats one of the things that is so difficult about starting a sexual relationship, its very hard to keep things under control. GOod luck!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-19-2003, 04:03 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 77
bngreen HB User
Post

Sex and fooling around is not the only thing in a relationship. If you can't handle her decision stop wasting her time and let her find someone who will. Honestly, don't you think you are being a little selfish?

 
Old 07-22-2003, 12:01 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 74
crazy_cat HB User
Post

I dont think he's being selfish, quite the contrary. He's feeling very surprised because before this they were having a normal sexual relationship and all of a sudden she has stopped that. So yeah, either he puts up with it or he leaves her because she has changed the rules all of a sudden, she has stopped what was normal between them in their relationship, its not like this was waht it was like from the start. But no way is he being selfish. You could turn that around and say she's the one who's being selfish by suddenly announcing there's not gonna be any more sex and expecting him to just accept that withuot questioning it.

 
Old 07-22-2003, 12:14 PM   #5
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: FL USA
Posts: 333
UF baby HB User
Post

I've requested breaks from sex before because of personal reasons. It's not selfish that she doesn't want to give him her body anymore. People have the right to change their mind, and I know this is gunna come as a TOTAL shock to you but YES even WOMEN have this right.

Of corse he can question it and ask "why?" But he knows why, she said it was because of religious reasons. Maybe her faith has gotten stronger since the beginning of their relationship..or is faith not aloud to change either? I guess she's selfish for that too..

 
Old 07-22-2003, 02:51 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 74
crazy_cat HB User
Post

i was referring to his RIGHT to be confused and upset. He has a right to feel that way, just like she has a right to change her mind about how she wanst sto live her sexuality.

I am a woman btw and i know if my partner came home one night and said, thats it, no more sex for us (whatever his reasons), i would feel upset and confused.

 
Old 07-22-2003, 03:08 PM   #7
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 74
crazy_cat HB User
Post

Oh, and why should faith rule out sex? I dont know because i dont have any, faith that is.

 
Old 07-22-2003, 03:52 PM   #8
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 373
JAYB HB User
Post

Catholics and Mormons do not approve of premarital sex.
There may be other religions too.
He didn't mention if she said this was a temporary thing, or if she wanted to wait until she got married.
I read an article about this a while back that some people that have premarital sex decide they want to wait until they get married.
It may have to do with religious beliefs or they don't want to risk getting STD's, pregnant, etc.


[This message has been edited by JAYB (edited 07-22-2003).]

 
Old 07-22-2003, 04:51 PM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 5,390
Thisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB User
Post

Back to the original question. How long have you been going out? Also, how old are you two? Maybe she's feeling guilty about what you two were doing sexually and this is her way of putting an end to what she never thought was proper behavior anyway.

Or do you see this as a long-term commitment she's making to her religion, regardless of any fooling around the two of you may have done, and you don't forsee any reversal in her behaviour?

Do the new rules stipulate that any sexual contact has to be accompanied by a marriage license?

On the other hand, is she given to temporary involvement in fads and then it passes? Because maybe she'll give up on it shortly and things will go back to normal.

What you should do depends on how you feel about her and what you see happening with her in the future. You can either stick it out because you love her and feel she is worth it, or you can back out. People are allowed to change, and the people they effect are allowed to change in response.

 
Old 07-24-2003, 09:14 AM   #10
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 48
tmotsoane HB User
Post

she is confusing me even more nowadays, i tried telling her how i feel about this whole thing. now she gives me mixed thoughts, she's saying that we'll do it soon and yet says she doesn't want to do anything before marriage. this is really driving me crazy!

 
Old 07-24-2003, 09:26 AM   #11
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 48
tmotsoane HB User
Post

Quote:
Originally posted by JAYB:
[B]
He didn't mention if she said this was a temporary thing, or if she wanted to wait until she got married.
It may have to do with religious beliefs or they don't want to risk getting STD's, pregnant, etc.
[B]
she didn't specify but the marriage isn't the real issue. the std's are onething we always were aware and careful of!


 
Old 07-24-2003, 09:31 AM   #12
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 48
tmotsoane HB User
Post

Quote:
Originally posted by Thisby:
[B]Back to the original question. How long have you been going out? Also, how old are you two? Maybe she's feeling guilty about what you two were doing sexually and this is her way of putting an end to what she never thought was proper behavior anyway.

Or do you see this as a long-term commitment she's making to her religion, regardless of any fooling around the two of you may have done, and you don't forsee any reversal in her behaviour?

Do the new rules stipulate that any sexual contact has to be accompanied by a marriage license?


B]
we've been going out for a year and we are four years old. guilt, nope! she says she loves sex!! marriage isn't the issue!

 
Old 07-24-2003, 05:28 PM   #13
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Dixie
Posts: 19
JohnnyReb HB User
Post

I can't tell you what to do but if I were in your shoes, I'd give her a couple weeks to tighten up and if she doesn't, send her packing. But that's just me....

 
Old 07-25-2003, 04:43 AM   #14
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 1
mm2003 HB User
Post

the least she owes you is a decent explanation. just suddenly changing her mind and expecting you to be ok with it instantly is unfair on you. its like you looking up and saying straight out of the blue "oh i want to become a swinger" and she has to accept it.... yeah rite what would she do in that situation?? she'd throw a fit. you have the right to do the same although before you do that you must try and get her to explain herself FULLY. if she cant understand why your confused and she wont explain herself then find someone else who respects you enough to be straight with you.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Relationship Takes a turn for the Worse..looking for advice Davids25 Relationship Health 14 01-26-2010 12:44 PM
Idk where to turn to i need help johnboy21 Relationship Health 6 01-11-2009 06:39 PM
So much pain today! Can't turn my head to the right!!! Help have a ??? skych Spinal Cord Disorders 11 01-05-2008 05:17 PM
Desperate And Have No-one to Turn To..... coder Addiction & Recovery 15 05-25-2007 04:24 AM
No where to turn... Des Kay ADD / ADHD 8 07-15-2006 12:28 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Fles (14), mc7 (10), Bob652 (7), wachix (7), tommy124 (6), Vanilla Kiss (6), aowshea (5), Mod-S4 (5), Just Tell Me (5), keil (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (852), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:58 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!