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Old 07-13-2003, 12:06 PM   #1
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Unhappy Unable to ejaculate with a girl

I'm 20 years old. With my last 2 girlfriends I was unable to ejaculate when they were giving me handjobs. It just did not right, I had to finish myself and then it did feel right. I think i may have gotten to used to my own hand. I am thinking of cutting down my masturbation to one every 2 weeks or once a week and then only with a light touch. I currently do it twice a day. I have not gone farther than handjobs...and i've only tried it about 3-4 times with one girl and once with another but I was not able to ejaculate. They said that we just had to get used to eachother.Does this seem like a serious problem. Does anyone know of any other ways to increase my chances of ejaculation. I've talked to a few people about it and some said it would be sily to stop masturbating, and that i just need to relax in sexual situations some agreed that i should stop, but I am willing to do anything that works. I currently masturbate twice a day so it might be hard to stop.

[This message has been edited by tom13 (edited 07-13-2003).]

[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 07-13-2003).]

 
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Old 07-13-2003, 01:11 PM   #2
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I think it's just a matter of time until you are able to ejaculate when your girlfriend masturbates you.

What has probably happened is that you are used to the stimulation you give yourself when you masturbate. This could be how hard you grip your penis or the motions you make when you are masturbating. When you are with your girlfriend, she may not grip your penis the same way or masturbate you in exactly the fashion you are used to. Why not let her watch while you do it to yourself and then teach her how you like to be masturbated. If she is inexperienced in masturbating a male she may not know what best brings a man to release.

As far as cutting down on your own masturbation that depends on what is comfortable for you and what your needs are.

 
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Old 07-13-2003, 06:56 PM   #3
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I think you should cut back on the masturbation. That should probably help quite a bit.

 
Old 07-14-2003, 11:15 AM   #4
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how much do you guys think i should cut down?

 
Old 07-14-2003, 12:42 PM   #5
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Why not just not masturbate on the day that you will be with girlfriend. That way you will be more easily aroused when she masturbates you and have more semen stored to ejaculate.

 
Old 07-14-2003, 03:10 PM   #6
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Dammit man cut down,if you stop for just 3 or 4 days you will be amazed how much more intense and quick your orgasm is.It is true that you can stimulate yoursels better than your girlfriend but remember thet you know exactly what you want, she doesnt.If you could abstain for just 1 week,I dont care how bad she masturbates you,you are guaranteed to blow your load.Remember also to completely relax like you would be if you were on your own.It is a good idea to train your girlfriend just how you like it,but be patient cos it may take some time.Mine has mastered it to the last detail after 3 years and it feels grrrrreat.

 
Old 07-14-2003, 03:13 PM   #7
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Why masturbate yourself at all? Having a new girlfriend, keeping your own hands off yourself, should get you aroused enough to be able to ejaculate to her touch. Don't start masturbating yourself again until you can orgasm without any problem by her doing you.

 
Old 07-22-2003, 03:40 PM   #8
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will abstaining from masturbation make me able to ejaculate when im having sex or oral sex?....just wondering if you guys think it applies to these areas as well

 
Old 07-23-2003, 07:12 AM   #9
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Sure, same idea. On the original topic: here's a great way to have her masturbate you from a similar angle that you do yourself. When in the shower together, have her put some conditioner on her left/right hand (same as your preferred hand). You place one foot on the tub ledge, raising the leg, so she can reach underneath, then have her stroke your c**k and b***s in a manner that mimics your own touch. It works for me, feels fantastic. Give it a try!

 
Old 07-23-2003, 07:17 AM   #10
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... and on your birthday, lube up and have her insert a finger up you-know-where. Guaranteed to blow your mind!

:> )


 
Old 07-23-2003, 05:44 PM   #11
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Get yourself to a doctor asap! I had the same problem when I was your age and did nothing about it and ended up not being able to orgasm with a women at all. I am 50 now and can still only orgasm with masturbation. The therapists tell me I should have done something about it when I was a teen. Now they say it is too late. The problem is called "RETARDED EJACULATION" get some help.

 
Old 07-26-2003, 09:10 AM   #12
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It amazes me how often this problem comes up. Stop masturbating for a week, like the previous poster said. It's as simple as that. Have your girl use some lube (olive oil is natural and works) and it will definitely work. If you're masturbating every day it will never work. If a week off doesn't work, try two.

 
Old 07-27-2003, 05:50 AM   #13
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He could go a year without masturbating and it won't do any good if he is truly suffering from retarded ejaculation. It's a psychological problem affecting about 6% of men. It can be caused by anxiety, low self esteem, no attraction the partner, childhood sexual abuse, SSRI antidepressent medications, and performance anxiety. Over masturbation may make it a bit worse but saying this guy should "save it up" is ridiculous. He needs psychotherapy. But be warned, severe cases of this terrible dysfunction have a very low cure rate. Many men with primary situational RE cannot have relationships with women or only certain kinds of women, (ie: prostitutes and one night stands) so most of the time masturbation is their only sexual outlet. Many of these men also become addicted to porn.

[This message has been edited by elco (edited 07-27-2003).]

 
Old 07-28-2003, 02:01 PM   #14
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I don't know if I have rtarded ejaculation it doesn't feel right when the girl is masturbating me...Like I have becoem to used to tho my own touch I hope it isn't retarded ejaculation

 
Old 07-28-2003, 02:12 PM   #15
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I'd say you're right on target. If you can masturbate to ejaculation when alone and without any problems, then this isn't a retrograde ejaculation, I think your penis is trained only to respond to your touch. That's your job now... gotta retrain that lil guy by using different methods. Change your grip, style, speed, technique and anything you can. Add lubrication, try masturbating with a condom on, do anything different you can think of and work through this. Also, you may try to back off a bit on the frequency as that too can help you do a better job with her. Good luck!

 
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