I am a 25 year old male virgin. I have a strong belief in waiting until I am married or at least totally committed and in love. The problem is that I have the same sex drive as any other guy. This girl I know has made it clear that she wants a no-strings attached sexual relationship with me. I know that goes against my beliefs and I will probably regret it if I do it, but I'm also so sexually frustrated. Any advice or guys who had similar experiences?
Living life is about sharing and caring, not about some arbitary rules of abstinence. If you like this girl and she likes you, there is no harm in sharing the night together. And who knows, maybe she's really the one.
I mean, geez your 25, you're already passed your prime. Time waits for no one, don't let it pass you by. When you are dead and gone, no one will say what a great guy he masturbated his way through life because he never found that perfect girl. Heck, some of those same "save it" people will roast you for masturbation.
Money is made for spending, women are made to love, you only get one life to live, so live it.
I've a friend who tells me that he wants to wait until marriage to. I live in Mexico and most women in Mexico wait until marriage, not many men do the same thing, but my friend. I've never supported his decision, but its his decision, and I also respect yours.
I recently lost my virginity and I consider it escencial to keep a stable relationship, I wouldn't marry a girl whom I haven't had sex with.
Sex is very difficult and your future wife might hold secrets or things that she doesn't know she has, many women for instance, felt ashamed and wouldn't like to have sex, also they can have trauma, they might have diseases that would make them feel pain when having intercourse, or even hormonal problems that would give them lack of sex desire.
And believe me, those problems are very very common.
Imagine marrying with the perfect women, or that's what you think, but then you realise that she never wants to have sex, what would you do?, some problems are very difficult to cure, and can't be cured.
Marrying a girl you wouldn't have sex with, is the same as marrying someone you barely know.
That's just a thought, also realize that you are 25, in 5 more years you could begin having erection problems, that willl leave you only a few years of good sex life, believe me, masturbating is easy, but intercourse is difficult, I sometimes have difficulty having sex, but never masturbating.
Just look a girl which you like a lot and you want her to be your girlfriend and have a stable relationship with, after knowing her for 5 months or something and realizing that you love her very much you can have sex with her, and try to keep up the relation so you can marry her.
I agree with orion. I also held off too long however not due to any moral convictions rather because I was much to shy. If you really want to stay true to your ideals then all the power to you. However, I truly regret all the time I lost.
I am not going to tell u what to do, just to say I was very sexually active at a very, very early age and I was way to young to handle the issues that sex raises.
Perhaps that is why my oldest brother waited until he was amrried and he was in his 30's.
U do what u think si right 4 u, in the end we all have to live with what we decide 2 do. If iu had to do it all over I would have waited until my mid teen years and nto be4 becomeing a tenager. But i learned a very bitter lesson on hwo to treat peopel and women in particular and, if shaped me tino the man i now an, repectful, polite and caring. Without the fact that I was a preteen jackass, maybe I would have changed to what I am and I like who I am.
I have a great deal o frespect 4 u as I do 4 my brother, u both thought long and hard of who u r and what u want, so do what is right 4 u and do notlet any of us tel u what u should do!
Some day when u have sex I am sure u will be a great lover as u have stuck to a principle thta u think is right 4 u, but when u do decide the tiem is right use condoms, please use them!
[This message has been edited by happy go lucky (edited 07-24-2003).]
I always used to tell my friends that I wasn't virgin, many of them were not virgin so I didn't want to sound loser or something, however I always wanted to have sex even at a very young age, but I was always a shy bot, I recently lost my virginity 4 months ago, with my first girlfriend whom I love very much, and after I did it, I didn't feel any different, didn't feel any bad or had any regrets, I felt good, but not god-like or whatever. I realise that virginity is just a name, it doesn't mean anything, I could marry my gf or get another girl and I will never regret to have lost my virginity.
Also many people think the first time is the best thing in the world, but I would say it is mostly bad, because as a man, it is even difficult to find the vagina opening, or stick it in when she is really tight, also for women the first time is very painful, most cant even have full intercourse the first time.
For men you could have your first erection problems, even though not physically, it is hard to focus, and you could have anxiety or whatever and do not work right, it happened to me the first time, at the end I was able to do it.
I lost my virginity at 20 years old, and I was feeling bad for all the time I lost, also it takes months of having sex to get used to it over masturbation, cuz you've always masturbated your whole life and your penis is used to that stimulation!.