Yep, usually referred to as "blue balls" (although they really aren't blue) This occurs when a male is stimulated to a point but doesn't ejaculate. Its the response to the buildup of blood and such in preparation for an ejaculation. Yes, it hurts for a while. The best cure is to masturbate or finish what was started and the pain will subside.
This is usually an excuse guys give girls for needing them to provide them with sexual release.
While it is true that a guy can have an ache in his testicles from being aroused and not having an ejaculation this rarely occurs from one session of arousal. If the guy is repeatedly aroused and for long periods of time without being able to ejaculate then it could happen. Most guys though will masturbate to bring on an ejaculation if they feel the least bit congested from being aroused. Once the ejaculation occurs the ache is relieved.
Dont fall for the "you have to do this for me" line. Give your boyfriend release if you want to (but please do it safely) but not because he "has to ejaculate."
Originally posted by MrNice: This is usually an excuse guys give girls for needing them to provide them with sexual release.
I think that's pretty unfair. You make it sound like blue balls and congestion are just things guys makeup so they can get sex, like it's a big conspiracy. But in fact, those conditions are real and they aren't always minor either. There is nothing wrong with a guy telling a girl how he feels and if that means he is in pain and would like her to help him relieve the pressure, there is nothing wrong with that either. Just be honest and say what you feel. If she doesn't want to help him, then direct him to the nearest washroom.
My balls swelled recently but it was when I was going to have sex but me and my partner decided not to because we didn't have protection. Foreplay was there but no actual intercourse, and my testicles felt huge. This happens after sex as well sometimes, and when I eventually relieved myself they felt as if they were back to their normal size. There is minimal pain, but the difference in size is visible and you can tell by touching as well. One girl once said that my testicles are huge, and asked if I had blue balls! Whoa! Now I wouldn't want that.
Some men will swell up and feel pressure if they have an erection for a while but don't climax. I think this is not all that common and I agree that it is a frequent excuse to get the woman to get the guy off. If you were giving a blow job then stopped for some reason, I can understand his anxiety, but regardless of the circumstances, it is your decision on what you should do. While I think you one should generally start what they finish, if he claims blue balls from basic foreplay in an attempt for you to jack him off, give him oral sex, etc., I would tell him to take care of himself.
Originally posted by Magnetic: I think this is not all that common and I agree that it is a frequent excuse to get the woman to get the guy off.
So you are saying that guys frequently complain of pain from not finishing, but they are mostly lying or trying to be manipulative. Isn't it possible that these guys aren't lying and that the effect is real for guys? If he wasn't lying, then how could a guy convince you that it was real? I find it hard to believe that guys frequently lie about something that supposedly doesn't happen to them.
I think it's a fairly common occurence for guys and it's all part of nature's design to make sure sex happens. Now that doesn't mean the girl has to accomodate her guy; she can do what she pleases. But the effect is real and a little more understanding would be appreciated.
[This message has been edited by orion (edited 08-04-2003).]
I dont think either Magnetic or I meant to imply that with frequent arousal and not being allowed to ejaculate that a guy wouldn't feel any discomfort especially if he hasn't had a recent ejaculation.
Certainly once there is arousal the guy feels the need to ejaculate. The point I think we were both making is that it isnt mandatory that the girl bring the guy to release.
If for some reason she wont or cant he can always masturbate and relieve the pressure himself.
The point we were making was that it isnt fair for the guy to complain that she "has" to do it so that he wont have any discomfort.
There are girls who get pleasure out of teasing a guy and then denying him release. That isnt fair either. A girl who knows the effect arousal has on her b/f should be prepared to offer him release if she arouses him to that point. But, he has to be willing to take no for an answer at any point too.
Discussing the need with her is fine. Telling her that she "has" to do it isn't.