I was with my girl last night and we haven't been going out that long and I'm really attracted to her and we were outdoors and were about to engage in intercourse for the first time together. It would have been neither of our first times. I had an erection prior, but as soon as both our pants dropped the erection was gone immediately and completely! It didn't return and my girl dressed herself in frustration! I really want to know why this happened because this was the most embarrassing night of my life!! I like her and want to have sex with her but this hasn't happened before and it concerns me! I'm wondering if it is because we were outdoors because I've never had sex outside or because neither of us had protection and she was willing to go through with it, because I've never had sex without a condom before. I'm so embarrassed and I don't want this to ever happen again, and would greatly appreciate any input, whether it be a past experience, advice, or any other useful information.
maybe subconsciously you were worried that outside wasn't private enough? or maybe you are just so ingrained with the safe sex message that your body wouldn't allow you to go ahead without a condom, thats not a bad thing.
First off I appreciate the input so far. Now, I was so embarrassed and I'm afraid that she may cut me off because of this. I also believe that it was all mental, and fear which got me out of the mood. I think I was worried that outside wasn't private enough and that fear of bad pull-out timing contributed to this occurence! I was also extremely tired and had about 6 hours sleep total in the previous two nights! I'm just worried that she may think I'm immature or that I'm not able to fullfill her sexual needs and I know she feels like I deprived her. Please keep the opinions and informative replies coming.
Originally posted by TeenageDude17: I'm afraid that she may cut me off because of this.
If she turns out to be THAT shallow, I would say dump her.
On the other hand, she may be hurt and feeling she wasn't sexy enough for you. Either way, the only way to find out is to see her again and talk about what happened. It will be embarassing, but that's only because you didn't turn out to be a machine. Instead you're a sensitive caring guy, and what's wrong with that?
Count yourself lucky - you may have avoided getting an STD.
I agree that you were nervous. Provided she is not upset with you, try again in a more romantic setting and with condoms. If she is upset with you, then be thankful you found out how shallow she is before you got too close to her. If she looks down on you for this, think what a b**** she would be regarding other matters.
I think you should run as fast as you can away from this girl. The fact that she didn't care if you have unprotected sex is a red flag that she may be carrying an STD or worse,believe me your not the first guy she has had unprotected sex with and she doesn't have any respect for herself or care enough about herself to want to make sure she doesn't get pregnant! Your penis did you a big favor that night. Move on and get yourself another g/f that respects herself.
She seems distant and I'm getting the feeling that I need to have sex with her, because it was so embarrassing and I want to be the one to satisfy her. I feel like she's only talking to me because she wants to be nice. Oh yea, she is about a year-and-a-half older than me, and she may be thinking I'm immature but this is the first and hopefully the last time that this will happen! I need some advice, because I'm thinking about implying that I want to have sex, and explain why I couldn't perform (I was exhausted) but I don't want so seem like, "Ok lets have sex now, I'll be hard this time" type of thing, you know? Help me out.
You don't have to "prove" anything--to her or anyone else. The previous guy is right--if she was willing to have unprotected sex with you, move on. You can safely bet your left nut she's done this with other guys, and that's just plain crazy. On the cause? Fear, nervousness, and just maybe you knew the conditions weren't right. Good luck.
Originally posted by JDinCA: I think you should run as fast as you can away from this girl. The fact that she didn't care if you have unprotected sex is a red flag that she may be carrying an STD or worse
I was inclined to agree with you JDinCA but then I realized HE was just as willing so what does that say about him according to your theory?
I agree. He should have thought about slipping on a condom. You should always carry one around. Me; I always have a couple in my wallet, and I'm real careful about which girls I have an intercourse with.
Anyway. I'd say to high tail it away from her, and find some girl whom has respect for herself.
I understand your point and agree 100%. HE clearly used the wrong head when he agreed with the young woman's suggestion to have sex even though they didn't have protection. But since TeenageDude17 was the one to come here asking for advice I worded mine in a manner that I hoped he would read as some one trying to help, even though my instincts wanted to shout out ," If this girl asked you to drive off a cliff, would you do that too?" LOL!
Well, I'm pleased at all of the thoughtful responses!
I'm here to update the situation somewhat. We got together and went out 2 nights ago and later on that night, I guess you could say one thing lead to another and we were indoors and we engaged in protected sex. It was kind of a relief for me, simply because I realized that for some reason I cannot perform when I'm exhausted or outdoors and don't have complete privacy. Sex... at least for me seems to be very much mental as physical if you get what I'm saying there. She wasn't angry or upset, and I believed her because she seemed different after that first night, but it was just me because I was embarrassed with myself and had strange thoughts. But right now, everything is good, its a normal relationship, and everything is protected. Whoever posted the idea about my penis saving me that night, and how I just really have a lot of feelings was right. But not in regards to my g/f having multiple partners unprotected. She knew about me and I knew about her, and we discussed that before and pulling-out ect.. I really appreciate all the comments, replies and help on this forum. Any additional comments or questions would be appreciated as well. Thanks!