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Old 10-29-2002, 05:36 AM   #1
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Post wet dreams always happen?

basically, i am 19 years old and never had a wet dream. i think this is far too weird and not normal. i am completely through puberty and have been for some time. i don't really know what's going on--not a big deal really, cause it's not a big part of life that i'm missing out on that's getting me down, i just like an explanation. please someone clarify. thank you.

 
Old 10-29-2002, 06:10 AM   #2
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Man, you’re definitely not weird. I have wet dreams when I’ve gone without sex or masturbation for a while (a week or so). 2 of my close friends have never had one ever, and they are 26 and 29 years old. Coincidentally, both of them have high sex drives and have sex a lot (or masturbate alot when they are not in a relationship). Both of them tried to stop until they had a wet dream and couldn’t do it. I recommend it because I think wet dreams are fun as hell, for me it always makes me dream something really good. And the orgasm is intense! But the mess really sucks, LOL

You should try it if you've got the willpower

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Old 10-29-2002, 12:10 PM   #3
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damn--i went 2-3 weeks without masturbating once, it was hard. still no sign of a wet dream though...ah, o well, i gave up lol. how long are saying it takes?

 
Old 10-30-2002, 02:55 AM   #4
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Hey bud, each of us is different here. Sure, some of it has to do with our masturbation or sexual habits. The rest is simply our body "taking control" I've heard of guys not masturbating for weeks in an attempt to cause a wet dream...to no success and much frustration. I've had only one in my life, I was 25 and it totally freaked me out. Wish I could help you, but you really aren't missing out on alot....much more fun to make the "mess" yourself!

 
Old 10-30-2002, 03:37 AM   #5
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I'd say that if you wanted to have one, to keep busy, avoid thinking of masturbating (I know it'll be hard), and if you go without ejaculating for a week or so (it depends on the individual) the body will ejaculate some semen (sperm) during a wet dream. Wet dreams are great, except for the embarrassing mess when you wake up and start walking funny to the washroom.

 
Old 10-30-2002, 03:50 PM   #6
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They'll come when you least expect it. Stop worrying.
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Old 11-03-2002, 03:29 PM   #7
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While impossible, abstinence for a few weeks coupled with constant sexual thoughts always work.

 
Old 05-05-2003, 03:11 PM   #8
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research on how to have wet dreams

I've had a few wet dreams in my life, and would like a lot more. I've done some research on the web, based on writings submitted on boards by people who have wet dreams, including people who either started, stopped, or went back and forth between having lots of wet dreams and not having them.

There are always exceptions, everybody's different, but IN GENERAL:

-By far, most people who have lots of wet dreams DON'T MASTURBATE AT ALL. Some of them used to masturbate all the time and never had (many) wet dreams before they quit, but now have lots of wet dreams. 'Lots' can be several a week. Almost everyone else has few or no wet dreams. There is a big 'gulf', with few people in between.

-Lots of people would like to have wet dreams, but trying to hold off masturbating for a while usually results in frustrating cravings and no wet dreams. Yet other people stop masturbating and start having lots of wet dreams.

There appears to be two main reasons for this apparent contradiction:

-The 'time delay' between quitting masturbation and having lots of wet dreams varies, but is often several months.

-There is a difference between 'holding off' and 'quitting'. If you 'hold off' from masturbating, you'll miss it and crave it. If you 'quit' masturbating, you simply put it out of your mind, and it's no longer an option.

So if you are not having wet dreams, it looks like you have to 'kick' the masturbation habit completely. Don't think about it, don't want it, don't like it (obviously a lengthy transition period!). But once you kick it, and you wait long enough, you'll very likely start having LOTS of wet dreams.

These are observations, not personal experience. But it has convinced me of one thing: I'm kicking the masturbation habit!!!

 
Old 05-05-2003, 03:34 PM   #9
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Research on how to have wet dreams, continued

I have a theory about why 'holding off' from masturbating doesn't easily get you a wet dream.

If you 'hold off' masturbating while awake trying to have a wet dream, you are basically telling your brain 'no sex'. Your brain therefore won't have 'sex' in a wet dream while asleep either, since it thinks it's awake at the time! It looks like you have get past that by quitting masturbation completely for a long time, to let your brain and body get back the the 'natural' way -- wet dreams.

A few people 'easily' hold off from masturbating and go back and forth between masturbating and waiting only a few days before having wet dreams again. It may be that these people really stop masturbating and enjoy their wet dreams for weeks or months on end. In other words, these people may really be 'wet dreamers' who 'occasionally' masturbate, but are not 'hooked' on masturbation

But whether that's true or not, the 'anecdotal evidence' indicates that the situation is different for the vast majority of people, who have few or no wet dreams, and may want lots of them.

Virtually the only way people anywhere on the web have successfully transitioned from having no wet dreams to having lots of them was by completely quitting masturbation first -- not just 'holding off'!

Search the web yourself if you want – you’ll find some postings and questions from more mature people (not talking about young teenagers just starting out) who used to have no wet dreams at all and now have several a week. They ALL did it by quitting masturbation completely, for various reasons. Most often, the reasons were unstated. Some reasons included personal, boredom with masturbation, lack of opportunity, medical, or even religious. The one thing they all had in common as that they used to masturbate and quit. There was no evidence of any other way to start having wet dreams.

If a person is normal, masturbates pretty often, doesn’t have wet dreams and wants them, they’ll have to do what others have already done to start having their frequent wet dreams -- quit masturbating completely! You can't 'hold off', you have to quit.

A few people can do both, but most of us have two only two choices. We can either continue to masturbate and have no wet dreams, or we can take the time and effort to completely quit masturbation, leave it behind, wait, and let the body start having better sex naturally while asleep. (Sounds like quitting a habit!). We can either masturbate all we want and never have wet dreams, or have lots of wet dreams and never masturbate.

It looks like people who 'make it' to having lots of wet dreams see no point in ever masturbating again. I know I wouldn't!

Observations? Comments?

I have some questions for the people who don't masturbate and have wet dreams:

-What is your opinion of these observations? Anything to add or disagree with?

-Is having wet dreams part of the reason you never masturbate, or even the MAIN reason?

-Did you ever masturbate enough in the past that you had few or no wet dreams?

-If so, how did you happen to quit? How hard was it? Did you quit in order to have wet dreams, or were they a side effect? How long after you quit did you start having wet dreams?

-How do your wet dreams compare in feelings, excitement, intensity, etc, to when you used to masturbate?

-Would you ever consider going back to masturbating and giving up wet dreams? (Anecdotal evidence says very few people do.)

There is something quite fascinating about having lots of exciting sex in your sleep to people who very rarely if ever have wet dreams and can't stop masturbating. Would you recommend that people make the effort to quit masturbation completely in order to enjoy lots of wet dreams? Would you personally describe it as worth it?

Do you have recommendations on how best to make the transition? Help us people who want lots of wet dreams out!

Questions for people who masturbate and have few if any wet dreams:

-If you started having several wet dreams a week which were more exciting and intense than masturbation, would you still bother with masturbation, or lose all interest in it? Especially if masturbation made you have less of these wet dreams?

-If there was a step by step recipe that GUARANTEED lots of great orgasms in wet dreams, and part of that process was to quit masturbating completely, would you follow it?

Myself, I want lots of wet dreams, and I'm tired of masturbation anyway. The next step is now pretty obvious... If I make it, I'm not going back!



 
Old 05-05-2003, 06:20 PM   #10
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Texanguy - thanks for all the info and research. I too am fascinated with wet dreams, how they work, why they happen, and how to get them on a regular basis. I've only had one wet dream in my life, when I was 19, and I've always wanted to have more, and have tried quitting masturbation several times with no success.

Where did you find all this info on the web? When I checked the web for wet dreams, I found absolutely zero scientific research on the topic. A few posts on various bulletin boards, etc., and a few survey results, which do support your theory of semen build-up from no ejaculation over a long period of time increases the chance for a wet dream. Kind of like semen is stored in a tank so to speak, and constantly fills that tank. If the tank is never emptied through masturbation or sex, it will overflow and the body will expel the overflow in a wet dream during sleep.

While I agree with some of that theory, I'm almost positive there is more to it than that. Based on the following:

1. Take me for example. My one and only wet dream came totally unexpected and was a big surprise, as I wasn't 'trying' for one. I was just following my normal masturbation routine. I hadn't masturbated for 5 days before this wet dream, which is not a long period of time. I had gone much longer than that before without any wet dream. And after that, I had tried to have another wet dream many times by abstaining from any ejaculations. Once I went for 2 whole months without ejaculating, and still no wet dream. This followed by several 1 month attempts, and again no wet dream. So this experience goes against the cup runneth over theory.

2. It is a known fact that the body reabsorbs excess sperm and semen that goes unused. Although sperm production is fairly constant, production of the fluids that make up semen can be regulated by the body based on need. Based on this, there is no physical need for the body to expel excess sperm and semen, as it is able to reabsorb the excess. This makes wet dreams a physical 'option', not a necessity.

3. Some guys experience wet dreams as often as several times per week, AND they masturbate and/or have sex on a regular basis too, sometimes daily. Clearly there is no excess semen in this situation, so why the frequent wet dreams anyway?


Maybe if I went longer than 2 months, I would eventually have a wet dream, who knows? But that still doesn't explain why I had one at only 5 days, but not at 2 months.

All I know is quiting masturbation and sex for long periods of time is VERY difficult to do. I find it gets to the point where it almost completely preoccupies my mind. I can usually make to 3 weeks, but after that it gets almost unbearable. I find I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I'm irritable, and I find almost every waking second I'm thinking about sexual things. Its a constant horniness that will NOT go away no matter how hard I try to focus on other things or take my mind off of it. I think this is just the natural male sex drive, and its unnatural to try to resist it. And its certainly a lot of effort and aggravation just to try to have a wet dream.

Anyway, my theory is wet dreams have more to do with the mind and the way your brain is wired together rather than just physical need to expel excess semen. And some people are just more likely to have them than others because of this. There is a lot that we don't know about the human mind, and I think wet dreams are one of them.

 
Old 05-06-2003, 08:02 AM   #11
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I know I can't speak for everyone but I am riveted.... This is very interesting...

 
Old 05-06-2003, 12:45 PM   #12
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It’s nice someone shares my fascination. I think a lot of people do. What a way to spend time while unemployed!

Some of the few wet dreams I’ve had also came within just a few days of not masturbating, whereas other times I’ve gone much longer without any. Clearly, it’s not just ‘semen buildup’. Perhaps part of the key is what you said, you weren’t ‘trying to’ have a wet dream!

You can find people with all kinds of combinations and rates of sex, masturbation, and wet dreams, all in the same person. But the question is what are the TYPICAL trends? One thing we know, for example, is that most people masturbate fairly frequently, and have few if any wet dreams. That’s the typical person. (It also looks like this ‘typical person’ would like to have a lot more of them!).

But what is the ‘TYPICAL person’ who has lots of wet dreams? I didn’t know before, but all I can say is that from the web, it seems pretty overwhelming: the ‘typical person’ who has several wet dreams a week doesn’t masturbate at all. If they ever did masturbate, they had quit and then started having wet dreams, usually several months later.

Being currently unemployed, my ‘research’ was just using keywords to search through the web, and ignoring the vast majority of irrelevant sites, useless repetitions, porn links, etc. It’s based on what people have posted about their own wet dreams and masturbation habits, often in the form of asking for advice.


Much of the information I found was from following links to questions and comments on ‘medical advice’ sites. I soon found an amazingly high correlation between people who never masturbated or had quit, and now had very frequent wet dreams. I was also surprised to see people concerned that they couldn’t masturbate when they tried, even though they had wet dreams.

Some people were from other cultures, and seemed to be concerned about their wet dreams. Some posts simply said they had quit masturbating some months ago, and now started having several wet dreams a week, even though they had never had them before. More than one guy in their 20’s wanted to know if it was normal to have lots of wet dreams at that age, especially since they never had them before. Some weren’t sure if it was related to having quit masturbating months before or not. It seems there is a time lag.

It looks like other cultures have less knowledge about such things. More than one person wanted to know how to stop having their wet dreams. The advice given was either to masturbate, or just enjoy them and not worry. I would think that most Americans who quit masturbating and start having lots of wet dreams know exactly what’s going on, and feel no need to ask advice on the web. They probably just think “This is cool!” and want more.

Some ‘anecdotes’ include a Mormon (they are opposed to masturbation) who described himself as having started out having wet dreams, started masturbating pretty young, and had no more wet dreams. Then as a late teen, he was ‘scared’ into quitting masturbation by a church elder. He quit, and then started having wet dreams again.

Another guy described starting to masturbate around 12 or so, having had a few wet dreams before then. He went to masturbating to porn, often 3 times a day, and never had wet dreams. Sometime later, he got concerned that it was not healthy (apparently not from religious concerns) to masturbate so much. So he eventually quit masturbating completely, and sometime later started having wet dreams. He felt that they were better and more natural than masturbation, and never masturbated after that. He continued never masturbating and having wet dreams until becoming sexually active.

One older guy (in his 40’s, I think) had surgery that kept him from having any sex with his wife (or any other way) for a long time. After about 3 months (I think it was), he started having wet dreams for the first time since he was a teenager.

Some people just mention in passing that they don’t masturbate and have lots of wet dreams, even though it wasn’t the main topic of the post, only related.

Some people post about how much they love their wet dreams. They describe how they can’t wait for the next one. They may mention having lots of wet dreams because they are not ‘sexually active’, but none I saw mention masturbation at all. They are just very eager for their next wet dream. This implies to me (but doesn't prove) that wet dreams are probably the only sex they are having -- masturbation probably just doesn’t exist for them! Certainly all of their erotic focus is on having more wet dreams. Perhaps they wouldn’t understand why anyone would bother with masturbating when wet dreams are so great. In fact, there are other postings on the web that say just that: ‘Why masturbate when you can have wet dreams?’

I also saw postings of people who masturbated frequently and still had wet dreams, but they seem to be small minority, and young. I never saw any that claimed to masturbate once a day or more and still had several wet dreams a week. If so, they must be a small minority. But there are PLENTY of people on the web who say they don’t masturbate at all and have several wet dreams a week, including some who never had a wet dream before their 20’s, and after they stopped masturbating!

I also saw several postings on the web of people trying to have wet dreams by ‘holding off’ from masturbating until they did, and it never happened. I think a lot of people have tried, including me.

I know about the few people masturbate and also have wet dreams, but that wasn’t my concern I wanted to know about people who didn’t have any and wanted them. My question was ‘Did anyone who masturbated and who had few if any wet dreams ever go from there to having lots of wet dreams? If so, how did they do it?'

There was one and only one way, anywhere on the net, in a variety of individual variations: They completely quit masturbating (or have any other waking sex). Then sometime later, perhaps many months (and even to their surprise), they started having wet dreams, even several a week.

You can spend hours looking yourself. Compound searches help, such as {"wet dreams" "stopped masturbating"}, and various similar wordings ("had a wet dream", "have wet dreams", "don't masturbate" etc). It might help if you were bored and unemployed, too. You can also comb thousand of sites (rejecting most from their titles) just by searching on "wet dreams", or "masturbation".

It's pretty easy to find the strong anecdotal connection between frequent wet dreams and not masturbating, and between not masturbating and having wet dreams in general.

But I couldn't find hardly anything that associated not masturbating and NO wet dreams! One 70 year old guy with medical problems, and some people under drug therapies eventually came up as not masturbating and not having wet dreams. That was it.

 
Old 05-06-2003, 05:49 PM   #13
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I'm a female and I've had wet dreams! yes-youheard right-wet dreams! I love having them-they don't happen often but when they do it's awesome! I've woken up to my orgasm before-and thenI wake my husband up for sex! fun fun fun! lol..good luck though hope it happens for ya!

 
Old 06-08-2003, 10:10 PM   #14
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I'd really like to thank Tex for this information, and I have to say I really agree with the part about the tendency of "holding off" on masturbation to be a form of repressing the normal sexual expression-- it's an essential part of getting sexual satisfaction instead of chasing this otherwise-impossible dream in the waking world, when the desire is in the dreaming mind.

I would also like to add a few bits of my own knowledge:
Technically speaking, "wet dreams" have nothing to do with dreams, but are a involuntary function of the body similar to heartbeat and breathing, while dreams are entirely in the cerebral cortex, the highest part of the brain; while this sexual experience may trigger a sexual dream as the brain tends to try to explain what the person feeling, this is secondary, and a person can have an orgasm while asleep with any dream or even no dream at all-- and dream-content can be influenced by many thought-related factors and issues, from fulfilling a desire, to repressing shame. However, it is definitely a sexual experience, and not some autonomic function like digestion etc; every night, the brain normally goes through a sexual-arousal function as part of the normal sleep-cycle, usually as part of the normal REM dream-sleep shortly before awakening; it's just a normal part of sleep-functions, and is the cause of morning-erections.
This arousal-patter occurs in all normal persons regardless age or gender; however it is normally more pronounced in adolescent and adult males due to higher levels of testosterone, while an adolescent's sexual functioning is even more active due to the fact that it is rapidly growing and developing at this age, and is thus more active than a fully mature function- just as with any other function which is in a state of development. Likewise, testosterone increases the sex drive and makes it easier to have orgasms; as a result, sexual tension increases, bringing the person closer to orgasm at any time, while likewise it's easier to have the orgasm; as a result, the sexual-arousal function simply brings the person close enough to get off completely.

As Tex mentioned, a person can subconsciously inhibit these "wet dreams" or "somnovolent orgasms" by decreasing sexual tension through a sort of self-willed depression; in fact, most sleep-studies of men have found wet dreams to be much more rare in the lab than in a person's private bedroom, due to the person feeling a lack of privacy and thus supressing sexual feelings. However if done on a regular basis, this supression can adversely affect a person's sex-life as well as cause great stress overall, as with the supression of any natural appetite or function.

As for the issue of "mess," this is one area which really seems to be designed to shame males into being embarassed about their bodies in a puritanical attempt to keep them from "getting out of control;" the very name "wet dream" seems to compare it to infantile bedwetting, while at the same time claiming that it's a completely non-sexual reaction, even going so far as to claim that it's the body "emptying itself" of semen with no feeling, and is often compared to menstruation in females simply because both happen in puberty, involve the discharge of gametes etc.

However likewise, while the issue of menstruation is discussed openly, with girls being given protection against the "mess," adolescent males are repressed over the much more personal nature of this type of incident, and given no such protection-- when a simple condom functions perfectly well.
This repression causes males to feel naturally ashamed and guilty due to the sexual feelings they experience during this supposedly "unconscious" process which they are told, is simply an unfelt discharge, but which is actually a very intense experience, both physically and emotionally; this silence and sense of exposure -- as well as being related to a loss of bodily functions-- quite naturally results in a sense of shame over what could otherwise be the most pleasurable and satisfying moment of a person's life to date.
Likewise, female sexuality in this area is repressed entirely, which likewise leads to shame over such feelings; however, since female sexuality develops much slower due to lower testosterone levels at this age compared to later in life-- long after most women have become sexual and even had children--it's usually not as traumatic an issue, while likewise female sexuality is often celebrated in our society and media, while male sexuality is treated with revulsion and disgust, causing men to become ashamed of their sexuality rather than proud as most people seem to believe, but is actually compensation for the shame.

As such, it's time that men simply put on codoms befoe bed, just like women do with tampons etc, and both men and women learn and accept taught that somnovolent orgamss are a full-fledged sexual experience, and capable of even greater intensity than real ones, and are NOT some kind of autonomic discharge equivalent to urination/menstruation/etc.

I'd even like to start a group about this, since it's an issue that everyone has, but no one talks about since it's been repressed for so long.

{the posting of email addys on the forums is against posting guidelines, bfl}


[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 08-05-2003).]

 
Old 06-08-2003, 10:37 PM   #15
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I'd like to provide actual medical evidence that there is no connection between semen-production and "wet dreams," since most of the glands responsible for producing semen, such as the prostate, empty excess secretions into the urine, while other areas such as the seminal vesicles and testes, do re-absorb excess semen; as a result, the amount of seminal fluid reaches an equilibrium-point after about 2-3 days of abstinence, which is usually about 2 ml (about a half-teaspoon) and rarely more than 5 ml (a full teaspoon).
Once this is reached, no amount of abstinence will increase the total amount-- although sexual tension can cause it to increase, with this same tension likewise being the only cause of an orgasm as explained above, i.e. sexual tension from testosterone, and possibly from sexual thoughts as well, can bring a person close enough to orgasm that the daily sexual-arousal function of the person's circadian rhythm, and which normally takes place about an hour before waking, becomes enough to result in an orgasm.

Another issue I've studied about is "Lucid Dreaming," in which a person knows they are dreaming, and interacts with the dream voluntarily.
In an experiment with this, a man deliberately enaged in sex with the dream-girl, and experienced a complete sexual encounter, but did not actually ejaculate in real life even though he felt it in the dream.

(A woman also did this same experiment, but she reported that her orgasm was "weak" even though she had pelvic contractions which were stronger than a woman's normal orgasm.

I think the best strategy, therefore, would be to simply set out with the goal of having a sexual dream and experience, but not the expectation; this will avoid anxiety over not having it, or "doing it wrong" etc.
This way, it's easier to analyze what works and what doesn't, and make changes if it doesn't work, and enhance performance if it does.


[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 08-05-2003).]

 
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