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Old 08-04-2003, 11:41 AM   #1
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Question Serious Issue: Excessive masturbation affecting vaginal intercourse?

Before I first had sex, I had been masturbating for years. Guys become used to their self and ejaculate quickly whether its due to a tight grip or they just really know what they like. Now, this tight grip and excessive masturbation seems to affect how intercourse feels! I have come to believe that too much masturbation leads to loss of sensation for vaginal intercourse. I find that it takes a while to climax when having intercourse although I can climax quickly when masturbating. Does anyone else experience this, I mean I haven't had plenty of partners or experience, but from the few I've had I notice it takes a while to orgasm and it doesn't seem to be as great a feeling at first. I'm even thinking of giving up masturbation completely because I enjoy intercourse and don't want to get too used to myself and everything about ejaculation is different when having sex! I hope I made sense here, and any informative input would be appreciated.

 
Old 08-04-2003, 03:37 PM   #2
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This isnt an unusual problem. One does, indeed, become used to being brought to orgasm via masturbation. As you pointed out, during masturbation the tendency is to grip the penis more tightly than a woman's vagina can. Once you get used to requiring this kind of friction to come to orgasm it becomes difficult to ejaculate strictly from intercourse. This can be an even greater problem for men who masturbate by rubbing their penis against a bed sheet or thrusting into a pillow.

The way to correct this is to vary how you masturbate and get used to a less rigorous stroking. While I doubt you will be able to totally give up masturbation (not many can) if you decrease the frequency especially before you know you will be having sex your level of desire will likely increase and you will be able to attain ejaculation with less direct pressure on your penis.

 
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Old 08-04-2003, 04:40 PM   #3
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Your problem is the same thing that happened to me, and it is quite easy to correct. You have performance anxiety and are used to masturbation, even though you are not nervouss, you are anxious, in fact you should never wish your penis to have an erection, you should be relaxed and it will become erect if stimulated, however your gf must help you with that, and if she doesn't understand then she is not worth it and it is not your fault, overcoming this problem needs patience.

Stop masturbating, masturbate only when you can't hold it anymore, and barely touch your penis on the shaft, moving your pelvis to create penetration like movement, instead of moving your hand, don't use preasure. Bur remember masturbate only when you can't hold it anymore.
You will start feeling more aroused after that and even a single hand touch can make you have an erection, thus making it easier to have sex.

 
Old 08-04-2003, 04:56 PM   #4
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Smile

I "am" having the same problem and I'm very glad to know that I'm not the only one, it isn't that I enjoy others to suffer what I'm suffering, I just feel releived by knowing that my problem is something pretty common.
I'm very glad of having found this forum and I sincerely want to thank to all those who give us solutions. I hope that in the future I could help somebody as you are doing now.

 
Old 08-04-2003, 06:18 PM   #5
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Jeez, for 20 years I thought I was the only one with this problem. After visiting this board I now see it's very common, especially with young guys just starting to have sex or guys starting out with someone new.

What you are suffering from is called Retarded or Delayed Ejaculation. It can be situational, like mine is (it happens with some women and not others) it can be caused by a bunch of things organic and/or psychological (as in my case) but it can also be caused by a "hard" masturbation style which seems to be what it is in your case. You can try to fix it yourself but unlearning what feels good is very hard. Oral, vaginal and maunal sex (with a partner) can never duplicate your own style which you have grown used to.

If you can't fix it on your own get a referral to a sex therapist. It's a hard thing to fix and only gets worse as you get older and your sex drive starts to dip and the right stimulation becomes even more important.

Here's more info:

{the posting of commercial websites on this forum is a violation of posting guidelines, bfl}

[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 08-07-2003).]

 
Old 08-06-2003, 02:32 AM   #6
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TeenageDude17 what you have discovered about sex with a partner is very true and common especially when first starting out.
MrNice's advice to you is exactly right. Follow it,the sensation when your having intercourse will get stronger.

 
Old 08-06-2003, 05:15 AM   #7
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Question

Isn't this the same reason why most girls can't achieve orgasms with just intercourse?
I don't know if they masturbate a lot or not but it is something very common for them to need manual or oral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.

 
Old 08-06-2003, 07:43 AM   #8
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I think the problem of women not reaching orgasm strictly through intercourse isnt as a result of their becoming fixated on a certain masturbatory technique as much as it is on the location of the clitoris and the fact that when intercourse takes place there isnt much direct contact with the clitoris. It is the stimulation of the clitoris that brings on female orgasm. Another factor is that women just take longer to reach orgasm anyway and many men cant or dont continue intercourse long enough for the woman to orgasm.

A woman can also become dependant on more intense stimulation if she develops a masturbatory habit of using a vibrator to bring on orgasm regularly. There are few men who could duplicate the intense vibrations that a mechanical device applied directly to the clitoris can. For this reason, women are advised not to use a vibrator as the sole means of masturbating.

 
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