I am a sexually active teen and I have a problem during sex/sexual activities. I have been masturbating for about 4 years and I lost my virginity in December last year. Now I am with a different girl and I have always had a problem ejaculating in sexual activities. We have had sex about 5 times, and I have ejaculated twice. She has given about 4 bjs, but I have only ejaculated once. After she is done trying (we have gone for over 45 minutes having sex) I usually just finish myself and I don't have a problem. I don't think she is doing anything wrong cause I get really turned on when I am with her.
What is my problem and how can I fix it? I get really frustrated when this happens and I need some help.
I doubt theres anything wrong with you. You may just need to relax. For me it takes a great deal of concentrating sometimes so my guy gets me off....hes not bad or anything, as a matter of fact, hes wonderful and I enjoy every second with him....
or maybe give your gal some pointers. Tell her how you like it done....you obviously know what you like because you can do it yourself. Just ask her to do it a certain way, or if she does it in a way you really like, tell her to keep doing it that way.
I'm a girlie, and would rather my guy tell me how he likes it then not reach orgasm at all during our sessions. I want to please him just as much as he pleases me....and sometimes MORE...
Hi ts10! There are so many variables in a situation like this that it is difficult to pinpoint a particular area and offer a simple solution.
Basically, it seems to me that you are trying too hard, you are too anxious and you are using your brain too much! It may well be that, in a year's time, you'll wonder why you thought you had a problem at all.
The reason I think this way is that you say, "I get really frustrated when this happens" and your topic is, "What is wrong with me?". Begin by assuming that there is NOTHING wrong with you. You actually have everything going for you: an understanding partner, a good relationship, an openness and honesty about your situation, and a willingness to find satisfaction from these things. (God, I wish I had been in your shoes at the same age!)
Take things slowly. Don't rush into bjs or sex. Take time to get used to each other's bodies and feelings. Explore! You might find that, if you take things easy, you will enjoy yourselves more. (One thing you didn't mention is what *you* have done for your partner and how she is reacting.)
I'm sorry if this hasn't helped. As I said, there are so many variables, it is impossible to give a simple answer. Have fun!
__________________ I hear the beat of a different drummer
You mention that you have been masturbating for the past four years. What could be happening is that you have "trained" your body to respond to a certain kind of stimulation that you get when you masturbate.
What happens is that men get used to the kind of friction or pressure they apply to their penis when they masturbate and that pressure isnt present when they have intercourse or receive oral sex from their g/f's.
This is particularly true with those who masturbate by rubbing their penises against a bedsheet or thrusting into a pillow.
The way to undo this by reducing your dependency on strong stimuli while you masturbate. Try switching to just lightly stroking your penis until ejaculation occurs. Perhaps use a lubricant to increase the pleasure you recieve. Also, you may want to abstain from masturbating for a day or two before you think you will be having sex. This way you are likely to be more easily aroused during penile/vaginal intercourse.