Alright I have a question for all you males out there. What is the big deal of watching porn videos, viewing porn pictures (mags/internet). I'm in a wonderful relationship and I'm always around my boyfriend and his fraternity brothers and they talk about this stuff in front of me, which can get pretty gross at times. Also, when my boyfriend and I go rent movies he'll sometimes ask me if we can rent a porn, I don't care if he watches the stuff with his friends, but I don't necessarily find porn videos as five star movies. I just want to know what is it with guys and watching or viewing this stuff? Do they do this because they aren't satisfied in their relationship or what?
its not that hes not happy or not satisfied with your relationship, not that at all. Its entertaining to guys. He can also be doing it to see how much more he can pleasure you, like learn different things so you'll be happier.
He asks because he is wantting to watch it with you. It's erotic, and stimulating. It has nothing to do with not being satisfied. Just because he looks at porn and masturbates doesn't neccessarily mean he's not satisfied with you. It's just things some guys do, whether or not they are in a relationship. It's just a visual stimulation thing.
Besides lots of women enjoy porn as well. My g/f loves it. We sit down and watch porn together all the time. Just depends on the person.
Yup, most guys are visually stimulated. That is why you'll see rows and rows of porn magazines geared toward men and one "Playgirl" on the shelf (do they even publish that anymore?).
It doesn't have anything to do with the relationship. But, if you can relax and maybe give it a try you might find an exciting new thing to try with your boyfriend. And if you don't like it you can refuse from there on out saying "hey, I tried it and I don't like it".
But in the end don't worry, it's not about the relationship.
I think the big pull for guys regarding porno is a kind of role playing. We imagine ourselves in the situations you see on the screen. We replace the male character with ourselves and imagine what it would be like to be attacked by a particular woman or group of women... We also like to see the act being performed.
It arouses us... No big deal really... It's not that he's not satisfied with you.
Im sure you satisfy him plenty, it has nothing to do with that. Its just like, well this may sound corny, but like make up. Sometimes, some girls, just need make up, well some guys (most) just NEED porn, no matter how good their girl frined is (vs no matter how good a girl looks, some just need make up to make themselves, I dont know, satisfied?)
You could be top notch, which im sure you are, and he will still look at porn. Watching it together can be fun if your not grossed out by it. Try it..
You to understande one thing--men have a sex drive and women don't. That's why you even ask the question. Before you order me to be shot, understand this has nothing to do with enjoyment of sex, ability to orgasm, or anything beyond a mindless, slobberingly stupid drive, and that is who and what we are. If women were as mindless about sex as guys, we'd all still be living in trees. Fortunately, for you, sex is an option to be exercised at your discretion (sex that does not conform to this definition is usually called rape and men often go to prison for it), and fortunately you usually have the discretion to say no, which allows us to get on with the business of having full productive lives instead of rutting away like weasels. Don't ask WHY? because honestly, we don't know. It's a reflex, hard wired long before any thought process came online. We know it's mostly crude and seldm erotic, but we'll look. Every time
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers
Originally posted by edgework: men have a sex drive and women don't.
FALSE Women do have sex drives. Otherwise every time a woman had sex it would be JUST to appease a man, or it would be rape. And that's not the case.
If women were as mindless about sex as guys, we'd all still be living in trees. Fortunately, for you, sex is an option to be exercised at your discretion
This is also false. My girl friend has a much higher sex drive than I. She is always asking for it, and so it would seem that I have the option to turn it down. And that I am the one making sure we aren't 'rutting away like weasels'.
It has nothing to do with "men's uncontrollable sex drive" because frankly there is no such thing. Men can control their drive, and if they can't, they need help.
Have a nice day.
Edited for typos.
[This message has been edited by Calixte_Silas (edited 08-31-2003).]
Women don't have sex drives??? I'd have to disagree with you on that one. I have a sex drive that I would say is stronger than my boyfriend's, I am usually the one that initiates it with him, don't get me wrong he does too. If I didn't have sex drive, oh boy I don't know what I would do...my life would be so boring.
Please note that I wasn't talking about enjoyment of the particular act. That's a vastly different topic. As one who came of age in the 60s, I'd have to say that of all the social upheavals spawned in that decade, the most significant and lasting, at least in terms of personal relationships, is that women went public about the fact that, yes, they too enjoyed their orgasms and, by the way, it wouldn't be a bad idea if the men in their lives developed a bit more finesse in facilitating them. This took a lot of guys by surprise, and some still haven't gotten over it. This is undisputed and I'd be the last person to view this as a problem. Personally, I think that if more women had more orgasms, the world could only be a better place.
But we were talking about a sex drive, and exceptions only prove the rule. Tell me this: where is the multibillion dollar a year industry of strippers, pornographers and prostitutes that exists to serve the female sex drive? Perhaps I'm a less astute observe of the social scene than I thought, but I don't see anyone making big bucks marketing to the female sex drive, though men have been tossing bucks onto the stage and seeking out the doors with the red lights since memory runneth not to the contrary. As woman are more complicated than men, a simplistic appeal to a simple drive that doesn't exist would fail. Budweiser uses **** to sell beer. Revlon's pitch is far more sophisitcated and multi-faceted. But then, that means we're talking about something far more subtle than a simplistic drive.
I mean no offense by this line of thinking; it just seems obvious that beneath the intellectualizations and politics, fundamental differences exist, and we will be more successful in relationships by recognizing and embracing those differences than if we try to homogenize ourselves into a bland sameness.
And of course we control our drives. That's called civilization and we're getting fairly good at it. We have tempers too, and we're territorial, but we don't gun each other down in the streets over real and imagined slights; nor do we rape and pillage, simply because we feel an itch. But the question that started this thread, from a female, was WHY do men like porn. Obviously there's a difference in perspective, response, and reaction. Otherwise, she wouldn't wonder. She'd know, because we'd be just like her and she'd be just like us. I posit a theory, founded on solid observation and clear fact, to explain the difference. If there's a different theory, well then, grand. I'm up for the discourse. But if you tell me FALSE, I'm wrong--okay, but there's still the original question to be answered. Something's responsible for the difference.
[This message has been edited by edgework (edited 09-01-2003).]
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers
I agree with the fact that the industry lacks in strippers, pornographers and prostitutes to serve the female sex drive, but c'mon I'll admit female bodies are better to look at than men. As for male prostitutes...how would you recognize one? Some females on the street are actually men, right? Who wants to see big, hairy men naked and shaking his genitals...I've been to female strip clubs with guy friends, but once mention of a male strip club and convincing most guys to go they think it's gay and refuse to step foot into such a place. As for pornography the majority of guys watch male/female or female/female, am I right? I'd rather watch that type of porn than watch two men going at it (just my preference).
As for my original question, I just brought up the issue because it was brought up in a conversation the other day among male/female friends of ours and so that's why I brought it up on here to get more view points that are out there. And no, my boyfriend has never made a statement of never watching porn...we talk about that stuff all the time. Actually, we did watch one this weekend together and it was an erotic experience.