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Old 08-27-2003, 05:58 PM   #1
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Post Premature Ejaculation...

Fear of poor sexual performance. I have problems meeting people in general, but this really hinders my ability to meet women. It's like they can smell it or something.

I've tried stop and start, I've tried Deferol, I've tried this or that...I always seem to let women down. But now, it's difficult to even get to that point with women because the idea of sex brings me down.

I've never heard somebody say they have a problem with premature ejaculation- and no longer have it. Can anyone help me- this is like hell to me.

 
Old 08-27-2003, 06:52 PM   #2
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I'm not intimetely familiar with your problem bud, but don't get too down. I'm having some issues of my own (lack of sensitivity) and worrying won't do any good at all.

There are a lot of people here with similar problems as you, so just keep reading the boards and try to keep your spirits up. One thing I can say for sure is that people change over the course of a few years... So while it might be unbearable to be dealing with this now, it seems unlikely that it will persist for very long. Especially if you're patient and informed about this problem.

Good luck to you.

 
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Old 08-27-2003, 07:53 PM   #3
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Its been my experience, as a woman, that most men need to be brought to orgasm through oral sex before actual intercourse. This gives them more "staying power." Its almost like you have to get that first one out of the way before you can get down to business. Have you ever tried climaxing through oral sex first? Not everyone is the same, but, having it done once, or even twice if necessary might help. And don't forget how important oral is to most of us girls too. I hope this helped, and I hope you don't mind a womam answering your post.

 
Old 08-27-2003, 09:38 PM   #4
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Try zoloft or prozac in moderation. It prevents premature ejaculation. I can also lessen your desire so watch out.
But it's great no to come so quickly

 
Old 09-01-2003, 12:20 AM   #5
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There are some good exercises that you can do to increase your stamina. The most widely known are a couple that were first publicised in the early 70s. One you can do on your own, one you'll need a good, willing, cooperative partner. Don't write yourself a loser script to star in here. Women are on your side; (okay, maybe that one that laughed at me back in the eleventh grade was a *****, but let's hope she's an exception).

Imagine that you're standing at a urinal and you cut off the flow by contracting the muscle at the base of your penis. That's the exercise, without the urinal. It's a simple contract and hold, for about ten reps, five or six times a day. You can do it anywhere. Strengthening that muscle is the single most significant thing you can do to enhance your control.

The second exercise requires a partner who's on board to work with you specifically to make you last longer. So, yeah, there's a certain level of trust and intimacy that needs to be present, but hey, do the math. If she likes you, it's in her interest to help get you up to speed. Everyone wins.

It's real simple. She can either stimulate you orally or with her hands, or you can graduate to bona fide intercourse after a time, but the essential factor is that you don't climax. You tell her when you're about to spill over that point of no return and she stops, squeezes your penis at the base of the glans, at the base of the shaft, or else gently sqeezes and pulls on your scrotum. Any of these actions will dampen the impulse to orgasm. Wait a second or two, or however long it takes, and do it again. And again. And again. If it sounds like fun, you're getting the idea. Basically, you're engaging is straight-forward Pavlovian behavior modification. You have a reflex that says, "I feel this sensation, I do this..." This, usually ending the party. You simply replace it with a different response, one that you can learn. You might have limited success doing this one solo, but it's the interaction with a partner that creates the response and results are best when you have a partner.

If you want to try some more advanced approaches, pick up a book on Tantric Yoga. Basically, it's a meditative technique that uses a state heightened arousal, sustained heightened arousal, to produce a mind-altering effect. Or some such. Toss the esoteric stuff if it's not your style, but there are some fascinating techniques for delaying orgasm, which is the whole point. And they work.

The point about oral sex before hand is a good one, but you can teach yourself to accomplish the same thing buy letting off a little pressure incrementally. I find that often I am right on the brink, and I don't want to come yet; then, I'll have a slight release, maybe a single contraction. After that, I'm good for quite a while. Two or three of those and you can deliver the goods in virtually any situation. (This type of thing will happen naturally if you work with a partner, as described above).

------------------
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers

[This message has been edited by edgework (edited 09-01-2003).]
__________________
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers

 
Old 09-01-2003, 07:10 AM   #6
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Hey man- I think you are stressin over it and making it worse. Relax- so what if you orgasm, it's not all over, there is still plenty of fun stuff to do while you're recovering.
here is the most succesful trick that works for me, when I feel I am getting pretty close I slow down and breathe real deep through my nose. The breathing lets my body relax and the pre-orgasmic muscle tension subside. Good luck-

 
Old 09-01-2003, 12:16 PM   #7
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I thaught I had PE when I used to try and have sex with girls it would only last a few minutes.Thing was though they were just girls,not like a girlfriend or wife kinda deal.Then I had a girlfriend for about 2 months then we started having sex,last 25 minutes the first time we did.
I believe its got something to do with feeling comfortable around the woman,as in if you don't feel safe around her,you'll *** quickly.Like around my girlfriend it doesn't matter what happens in the bedroom cause thats just a bonus to our relationship.

Hope that helps a bit

 
Old 09-01-2003, 04:43 PM   #8
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Landmine HB User
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That little muscle at the base of your pelvis (that you use to stop urinating) is VERY important. Most men have undeveloped 'saddle muscles' and this can lead to a lack of control.

When you wake every morning, stand up and squeeze that muscle TIGHT! Do it every morning about 20-30 times. After a couple of weeks you'll start to have more control over both your erection and your staying power. It works wonders and is a good substitute for viagra. A developed saddle muscle is key.

 
Old 09-02-2003, 08:16 AM   #9
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I have the same problem. I am 50 yo and have had it since, well a lloonngg time. I have tried a miriad of "cures" and none have worked. It has gotten to the point that I don't enjoy sex that much anymore because I can't satisfy her. She says that she doesn't mind, but it does bother ME. If you find a good method, tell me.

 
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