He's right. The worry leads to the problem and the problem leads to more worry. Downward spiral into a pit of despair.
I just posted my experience in this matter in an adjacent thread if that helps you to commisserate. You are not alone and you are not weird, so put those feelings aside.
There is such a thing as acute depression that can be triggered by a traumatic event, although I doubt this could be it. Depression can cause loss of appetite for both food and sex, and generally make you less sociable and so forth. I doubt this is it, though, and it takes a qualified professional to determine this.
I personally can't stand pron because it is so plastic and fake. I'd much rather have the real thing in my arms because that is where it's at, not that I get it that often, but when I do it's the best! Maybe cut back on the pron and see what happens.
So you don't get telephone pole erections right off? Try pleasuring your girl with caresses and sexy words, licking all over, kissing (HOT!), get her going and if you are the least bit into it pretty soon you will get going yourself and nature will take its course.
There is so much more to great sex than just poking her, so broaden your horizons about what things you can do and I guarantee you will be whistling down the street. She will definitely appreciate the effort.