Well, I had the single most strange, and embarrasing day of my life today...
After work, I ran into a 17 year old girl who hangs out at a youth centre that I volunteer at, and her friend. We went back to my place and then had dinner.
Later that night, the girl's friend asked the girl if she ever thought about having sex with me, and the girl said that she'd be interested, as long as we kept the lights on, made it quick and her friend could wait outside the bedroom door.
Well, we both got naked from the bottom down and got ready to do it, but...as the subject says, I couldn't get it up. I'm on 60 mgs of Celexa, which really messes up my sex drive. I tried watching porno, masturbating, but my penis was totally dead. After awhile, the girl got impatient and said that we should reschedule this for Thursday and try again. Her friend laughed when she heard that I couldn't get it up, and they left.
So, not only am I embarrased because I couldn't get it up, frustrated that I may have missed the chance to have sex with this girl, and mortified that now probably the entire youth centre will hear about my mishap, but I'm feeling that the whole situation was wrong, somehow.
I mean, I don't love this girl, but I would like to have sex with her, because I'm attracted to her. Also, she's pregnant with another guy's child, so that kind of worries me. So, I'm not sure if, on Thursday, I'll be interested anymore, if she still wants to go through with it.
Mainly, though, I'm really upset that I couldn't get it up when I wanted to.
The penis is a fickle friend. It sounds like you had a lot on your mind, and a lot of concerns. With so many worries racing around your brain, it's not surprising your little soldier didn't salute. There's also the possibility you wanted this to happen too much... you got overly excited and nervous and that kicked in the flight-or-fight response. This happens to a lot of young people in their first few times... the excitement and the nervousness causes a surge of adrenaline. Adrenaline is not the penis' best buddy. It causes the restriction of blood flow to the appendages.. your little soldier included. The idea is to keep blood out of the appendages to reduce the chance of excessive blood loss should injury occur. However, it also means you're getting less blood to areas where you want more.
So, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It was probably just nervousness and excitement. If she's already pregnant and you're only wanting her for her body, rather than actually having a genuine interest in her, then it's just as well, anyway.
Perhaps somewhere your conscience was telling you that hopping into bed with someone that you don't really care about is a bad idea, too.