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guys help, physical appearance

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Old 09-14-2003, 01:28 PM   #1
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tobias522 HB User
Post guys help, physical appearance

hey, I recently got these stretch marks on my thighs, only in small spots right in the inside of my thigs and up where they connect to my hips, they are red and look like veins, i find them disgusting, and where they are located might be distracting, am I wrong or would you guys find that a major turn off when being in that general area? my bf says it doesnt matter, and is always reassuring me but sometimes i wonder if hes just putting up with it to make me feel better. i worry a lot anyway, just need reassurance. i believe they are noticable and hate the way they look, what do you think?

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Old 09-14-2003, 02:43 PM   #2
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LandLubber HB User

They would not bother me at all, and from your post it sounds like your BF has no problem with 'em at all.

But if for whatever reason they annoy YOU, maybe a cosmetic surgery could fix it? Just an idea.

Old 09-14-2003, 04:14 PM   #3
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johneve HB User

I wouldn't worry about it. If your bf has already said it doesn't bother him, it doesn't.

Most guys don't care about little things like that. My wife comments on things on her body I would not have even notice if she didn't point it out.

Old 09-14-2003, 10:27 PM   #4
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edgework HB User

You know the old joke about how if you ask your boyfriend "Do I look fat?" there is no possible way for him to answer and avoid disaster. If he says "No" you won't believe him; if he suggests that it doesn't bother him, It's a 'yes' and there goes the week.

This situation is a bit like that. I have a short response and a long response to your situation.

A. He REALLY doesn't care. Guys are probably a lot simpler than you think. What you see is what you get. If he acts like he doesn't care, he's probably not acting.

B. Okay, so maybe he's putting up with something that he (or you) find less than attractive. How bad is that? In my experience, real-world relationships are precisely about adjusting and adapting. In fantasy land, no thighs stretch, no breasts sag, all faces are flawless, and, oh yeah, all abs are six-packs. Sure, we seek what we find appealing, but when we move past dating and start settling into a deeper relationship, we discover that the appealing things aren't necessarily connected with the fantasies. For a relationship to succeed, you find yourself making room in your life, not only for the things you like about your partner, but the things you don't like as well. That's the difference between a committed relationship and a dating relationship. It's not usually a natural reflex, particularly with guys. It's learned behavior and it's never a sure bet that someone will learn. Sounds to me like your guy is doing it right. Appreciate him and cut yourself some slack.
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers

Old 09-14-2003, 11:29 PM   #5
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[This message has been edited by edgework (edited 09-15-2003).]
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers

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