First of all, how old is your child?? If he/she is older, I would wait for the questions to start and then address the issue from there. Be careful not to give too much information. Again, this all depends on the age. My son started the questions when he was 7, almost 8. It was triggered by me being pregnant and him wanting to know how the baby got there. However, in last few years, he's been getting his fair share of information from other boys at school and has come home with many questions. I keep it simple, not graphic. There's tons of books out there about telling your kids about sex and determining when the right time is based on their age and maturity.
One of the things I keep moere grudge in my relation with my mother is that old "my friend" krap. She would show up with some guy in the nitgh and would say: "this is my friend". I could tell something was wrong but didnt knew what was it (I was about 4 or 5 in the first times that happened). I could see the hiden smile in her face and in the guys face...OH!! I hate that hypocrisy so much! She should say: "This is my boyfriend", or even "my lover" or anything.
Than one day the guy would just come to live with us(once). I was in my dads place, he took me home and my mother just came with the news: "He will live with us" and then would kiss him. Her "friend".Ha! Krap.
Be honest with ur kids. They will remember this later.
[This message has been edited by Miguel Antunes (edited 09-26-2003).]
My daughter is 7 and she's heard me while my boyfriend and I are having sex. I feel terrible because it scares her. She cries and I have to get up and go to her. She thinks he's hurting me. It was difficult for me to explain to her that I wasn't hurting without explaining sex to her as I feel she's not ready to learn that much. I told her that we were wrestling but I'm not so sure that is a good answer. I've contemplated just telling her that he kisses me and holds me in a way that makes me feel so good I can't contain my happiness so I shout! LOL I dunno, I'm curious to see other people's responses to this as well. *goes back to read replies*
[This message has been edited by Shaelynn (edited 09-26-2003).]
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life."
-- Dalai Lama
That's why there should be locks on doors. We lock our door and try to keep it down for our children. If they are up we don't even try. I think I would be very embarassed if they walked in on us. Just prevent it.
Here is a funny story: My gf and her dh were having sex in their room on the floor. Their 5yr old son was taking a nap on their bed. Well while her dh was on top of her...their son jumped on top of his dad and wanted to play horsie. My gf wanted to die because they had no clothes on and the only thing covering them was a bed sheet. She got her son to go to the other room by saying someone was at the door and he took off running to see. They got up and ran to the bathroom to get dressed. Needless to say they won't be trying that again.-Roni
A lot does depend on age and how you feel about explaining things to your children.
Dh and I have an active sex life and we sure as heck dont keep it restricted to the bedroom. We can barely keep it restricted to times the kids are asleep. But we are also open with our two boys. Our oldest has known the basics of sex since he was three. Yeah since he was three. Dh and I were trying for a second child. I watched a lot of baby shows and he started asking how babies were made and how we were making a baby. So we told him what we thought he would understand.
A year later Dh and I were into the moment when we heard giggling from the doorway. So that ended that and I had another talk with him. He asked if that was sex and I was honest and told him yes. That son is now 7 and half. He knows the proper names for both men and women's anatomy.
Here is a story...not long after he caught us someone saw that I was pregnant. She leaned down and asked my son if the stork was going to bring him a baby brother or sister. He looked at the woman and said no,mom and dad had sex and my baby brother will come out mommy's vagina. Needless to say the woman was flabbergasted...I couldnt stop giggling.
Our second son is almost 3 and we havent talked to him about it yet. He does know the names of his body parts but nothing about sex. When he asks I will do like I did with our first son and slowly tell him the basics and work from there as he ages.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
i completely agree with blastoff. i'm only 17, but here you can have a "growin up childs point of view" .. my mom was always honest with me, and I don't remember WHEN I started asking questions or when she told me the basics, but they both probably coincided.. I started wondering, so I asked. She answered honestly, and the rest i learned from school.. a lot of false information too, as I learned from then asking my mom if that stuff was true. my suggestions to anyone would be to just be honest with them, when they first start asking. Then, as they hear other things, ask them what they've heard, and confirm or correct the information.. that's the way I'm going to handle it when I have kids, I think it's the best way.