Is it normal for a man not to like...... - Sexual Health - Men Message Board

dayanna · 09-29-2003, 11:24 PM

I recently got back w/exhusband and before we divorced he was my first and I didn't know much about sex. We have been divorced for 3yrs. Now that we are together again I learned to love sex and everything that comes w/it. My ? is everything I try to do to him he doesn't feel comfortable with. Example he doesn't want me to give hime oral, be on top, or from behind both of my favorites. Is there something wrong w/him? Also he only last 2-3min. Why? Could I now be to aggressive for him? (He wasn't much into sex before either)

orion · 09-30-2003, 01:07 AM

I would say he isn't very comfortable with the idea of sex. He hasn't learned that sex is for fun and it's ok to try different things. It almost sounds as if he thinks sex is an obligation but something his mother wouldn't approve of much.

That is a hard attitude to change because it's deeply ingrained. Perhaps a book like the Joys of Sex for Christmas. You could look through the book together. My guess is he doesn't talk sex much either. Reading the book might get him used to using the words of sex so he can say them to you.

kanku · 09-30-2003, 08:02 AM

Dayanna , My take on the situation is he simply concerned about how long he lasts. Some possitions ( me anyway) make it harder for the man to last, maybe because he has less control .(you on top) So the angle to attack it may be in trying to help in lasting longer and the rest might follow. Maybe he likes them too much. Good luck.

TickledPink · 09-30-2003, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kanku:
Dayanna , My take on the situation is he simply concerned about how long he lasts. Some possitions ( me anyway) make it harder for the man to last, maybe because he has less control .(you on top) So the angle to attack it may be in trying to help in lasting longer and the rest might follow. Maybe he likes them too much. Good luck.

I definitely agree with this! That's exactly what I was thinking when I read what you wrote. Those positions make a man orgasm faster. I'm sure it's that he likes them too much, not that he doesn't like them at all. A suggestion? Maybe buy some books on techniques for him to try & prolong his ejaculation.

JDinCA · 10-01-2003, 12:06 AM

I in no way mean to sound harsh, but maybe you've out grown him and trying to get back with him is a mistake. You were a different woman when you married him the first time. Now you are more comfortable in your own skin and not the timid girl he once knew. Even if it is how the two other posters believe, shouldn't he by now feel comfortable enough with you to have at least discussed the fact he doesn't last. But it sounds like from what you say, he hasn't yet learned he can be open with you and hasn't changed any from the way he was before, and you want to go back for more? If your just having sex with him no big deal but if your looking at the possibility of getting back into a serious relationship with him like marrying him again, you might be well advised to step back and really do an inventory on the whole situation. You might be mistaking your willingness to possibly being a friend to him at this point for being in love with him again. Just my thoughts.