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Old 09-20-2012, 02:05 PM   #1
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My hubby can't ejaculate during sex

Dear Gentlemen,

My hubby is 45. I am 41. He used to be able to ejaculate during sex but for the past six months or so, he doesn't. I've spoken to him about it and he said that sometimes it just doesn't happen. He said maybe he isn't as sensative anymore like he used to be and it may be his age! I said, no.. Is it me? He said no. The honest truth about me is that I am one of those girls who is not selfish in bed at all. It gets me off to get him off. If he doesn't get off, I feel like I did or I am doing something wrong. I don't like to put pressure on him and talk about it too much because I don't want him to feel like he must ejaculate all the time.

We don't even have oral sex. Well, he does it to me and thats how he gets hard easy.. But he won't let me go down on him because he claims that I am a lady!! I don't even mind it and want to but this is not the issue.. But I thought I would share a little background. Oh, also, before we got together, he didn't have sex for 4 years! Also, he says he must concentrate during sex and when I'm on top, he lays there. Like a lump. I love this man with all my heart and just want him to let go and enjoy himself. I don't know what he is afraid of. I have a very sexual past which he knows about (we were very good friends before we got together sexually) and I love to have all kinds of sex. I'm trying to open him up but he just can't for some reason.

I guess one of my main problems with him right now is that he can't ejaculate during sex. Why does this happen? And no, he does not masterbate all the time. Seriously. So, that's not the reason. Do you think it could be me? Or what?

Last edited by MaryMoe71; 09-20-2012 at 02:08 PM.

 
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Old 09-30-2012, 02:15 PM   #2
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Re: My hubby can't ejaculate during sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryMoe71 View Post
Dear Gentlemen,

My hubby is 45. I am 41. He used to be able to ejaculate during sex but for the past six months or so, he doesn't. I've spoken to him about it and he said that sometimes it just doesn't happen. He said maybe he isn't as sensative anymore like he used to be and it may be his age! I said, no.. Is it me? He said no. The honest truth about me is that I am one of those girls who is not selfish in bed at all. It gets me off to get him off. If he doesn't get off, I feel like I did or I am doing something wrong. I don't like to put pressure on him and talk about it too much because I don't want him to feel like he must ejaculate all the time.

We don't even have oral sex. Well, he does it to me and thats how he gets hard easy.. But he won't let me go down on him because he claims that I am a lady!! I don't even mind it and want to but this is not the issue.. But I thought I would share a little background. Oh, also, before we got together, he didn't have sex for 4 years! Also, he says he must concentrate during sex and when I'm on top, he lays there. Like a lump. I love this man with all my heart and just want him to let go and enjoy himself. I don't know what he is afraid of. I have a very sexual past which he knows about (we were very good friends before we got together sexually) and I love to have all kinds of sex. I'm trying to open him up but he just can't for some reason.

I guess one of my main problems with him right now is that he can't ejaculate during sex. Why does this happen? And no, he does not masterbate all the time. Seriously. So, that's not the reason. Do you think it could be me? Or what?
You didn't mention anything about alcohol. Not sure if that could be a factor. I have a similar problem in that 99% of the time I can only *** in the morning. My wife can work her magic all evening long and I do not get anywhere. But I can pop in less then 10 mins, sometimes 5 mins in the morning. I assume that since I am fully rested, have nothing of the day problems in my head I am more receptive. Also we went thru many years of not being intimate so I would masterbatein the mornings while she was still sleeping. Maybe that is my body being used to the morning pop. Dunno. Good luck - you guy should be proud that you are seeking ideas that will in the end please him and you.

 
Old 10-14-2012, 08:42 AM   #3
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Re: My hubby can't ejaculate during sex

Sometimes to much alcohol causes this. Have your husband stop drinking for a week, hopefully things will be back to normal.

 
Old 12-05-2012, 11:18 AM   #4
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Re: My hubby can't ejaculate during sex

As others said alcohol is a common cause of sexual dysfunction. Hormone imbalances (pituitary/androgen/anti-androgen, thyroid, stress) are common causes too. But it could be what he was saying.

A low sensitivity problem makes sex boring. Sex just doesn't feel that good anymore. High blood sugar damages nerves through glycation. That's how it desensitizes the penis much more quickly than normal aging. B vitamins especially -6 and -12 might help with nerve function. Acetylcarnitine clears cellular fat blockages that inhibit respiration. Some people recommend it for diabetic/age-related nerve dysfunction. The pills it comes in are too big for long term use though, only take the smallest amount that has a good effect (it may be as little as 1/20 of a pill--too much isn't toxic or anything but it might cause some imbalance of its own). Exercise and stretching should help too. And it might help to know there are some things he could consider for increasing the sensitivity of his penis in order to enjoy sex more.

Another big cause of low sensitivity with age is circumcision's removal of all the most sensitive parts of the penis and exposure of the glans. There are some 'foreskin substitute' products (or things you can make) to protect the glans from rubbing against clothing. Men have said wearing them for a few weeks makes a noticeable difference in increased sensitivity. But the most effective thing to increase sensitivity is grow out a foreskin replacement. It's kind of surprising, but the foreskin is just a continuation of the skin of the penis, so it's possible to regrow something somewhat like an original foreskin despite circumcision (or if his natural foreskin was too short to cover the glans). It increases sensitivity by growing new skin to protect the glans (the job of foreskin). It's not as sensitive as original foreskin, but it does add new nerve endings to the penis increasing sensitivity more than anything else possible.

 
Old 12-22-2012, 11:50 AM   #5
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Re: My hubby can't ejaculate during sex

Testosterone is the highest in the morning, 5am to 7am, & lowest at night.

As an after thought, purchase a set of 3 Jade Eggs of different sizes. These are used by you for Kegel exercises to tighten the pelvic muscles.

Last edited by JinL; 12-29-2012 at 09:48 AM. Reason: more info

 
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