I am 29 years old, been with my wife for 4 years now. As far as I can remember I have always had some form of ED. If I am not super excited for the sex, I will go limp in a matter of minutes. I don't need help getting aroused, I can get aroused whenever the wind picks up a little bit. But during sex, my wife tells me she can't really "feel" me anymore. If we change positions or whatever, that is just long enough for my penis to go soft. Shouldn't I stay aroused long enough to achieve orgasm? I would think only a couple minutes isn't long enough. I am pretty sure I have been this way ever since I became sexually active 10-11 years ago.
If I am with a new person, I would be fine because it's a rush, it's exciting, it's new. I would be rock-solid aroused for the whole thing. But after being with the same person for so long, the interest isn't there as much as it should. And while I love my wife and I want to have sex w/ her and please her, my penis seems to think otherwise. I am so determined to please her and reach the finish line myself, but lately it's been a failure more and more. I wish I could just force myself to stay hard, but something is happening. My poor wife doesn't even enjoy sex with me because she can only initially feel me enter her, and after a couple minutes she feels nothing - I pull out and it's only half-erect.
I thought about these "**** rings" which you put on once you're aroused, and it traps the blood and prevents you from losing the erection, but some people say they're dangerous. I'd be willing to try but my wife is creeped out by the idea of it. I really don't want to take Viagra because of the stigma that is attached to it being for older men and I am still in my 20's. Plus I am very anti-medication. I have never taken meds for anything and I personally believe putting chemicals in your body has to be very dangerous long term. I would like to stay all natural if I could.
I am just depressed because at my age I should be having no trouble maintaining an erection at all and my wife thinks something is wrong with me. I might be low on testosterone. I can't grow a full beard like most men, I will never be able to grow a goatee, I get maybe half the facial hair other men do.
What suggestions do people have for me? I don't want to lose my wife already, this shouldn't happen to me until I am in my 50's or older. I am really torn up about all of this.
edit: I am 6'5 220 lbs. Not really overweight, don't do any drugs or smoke, seldom drink. Not on any type of meds. Exercise regularly (I unload semi trucks all day for work).
Last edited by MustangMark01; 09-20-2012 at 09:11 PM.
There's a saying in medicine that you should treat the disease not the symptom. ED can easily have psychogenic roots. See a couples counselor and tune up your relationship - not your penis. It's the best long term solution.
I thought I was reading a post I had written. I have and have had the same problem my entire life. I am 49 now and started taking Viagra at age 33. I helped for years but now if is only helping a little. I went to the Dr and got a Trimix injection. Very expensive, $1500.00 and it is about 30 injections. I have used it with some sucess but it now seems to be fading. Maybe the drug is getting old but it does let me have sex. I love it. And as for the needle, I was freaked out about it the first time but after I did it I never felt a thing. Use and auto injector. I must say it took me 30 minutes the first time to push the button, but I never felt a thing so this is the way to go for me now. I just want to have sex with my wife again. Good Luck to you.
Your problem might just be that you masturbate too much. Could you possibly have any callousing on your penis?
I have never met a man who was into using the rings you mentioned for long. They seem to decrease penis oxygenation or something. Some men seem to sometimes like them at first but not for long (more than a few months at most). I think they become increasingly uncomfortable from restricting circulation excessively. I wouldn't recommend using one.
Your problem staying aroused during sex could quite likely be solved by increasing the sensitivity of your penis. There are things you can do to increase the sensitivity of your penis. Usually the first option doctors present is pharmaceutical, but you may want to consider that there may be long-term side effects--especially accelerating the desensitization that comes with aging (if only for the increased friction from actually using the penis more).
Without any potentially harmful effect, you could also try keeping your glans protected from rubbing against fabric in your clothes. This can increase sensitivity quite a bit (reversibly). There is a product called the "ManHood foreskin substitute". It's a little soft fabric pouch to wear over the end of your penis to shield it from rough fabric. Wearing it for a month is said to make a noticeable difference.
Another option you could try is controversial within the American medical community, but it is the most effective thing you can do to increase the sensitivity of your penis: nonsurgical foreskin restoration. (Technically one can't actually restore foreskin but it's possible to regrow something very similar. The foreskin is essentially just a continuation of the skin of the penis. Unless there's excessive dorsal and ventral nerve damage below the circumcision scar, you should be able to regrow new nerve endings in the new skin. You can't regrow the specialized fine touch receptors or all the original connective tissue structure exactly, but nothing else can give you new nerve endings on the most sensitive part of the penis.)
It's obviously a big commitment. It has to be done very gently and very slowly or the skin can tear and scar. It can take a LONG time if there's very little skin to begin with (1-3 years); and it alters what your manhood looks like (when flaccid--with an erection foreskin retracts only making the penis wider behind the glans, so it only appears as increased girth). But foreskin restoration is the only way to grow new nerve endings on the penis. You can read more about it elsewhere on the internet.
There are contraindications like UTI or STD infection, latent infections like HSV,HPV,MC,et al. or the presence of a scarring disorder, so it's worth consulting a dermatologist or urologist before beginning. Unfortunately, the majority of American doctors don't know anything about foreskin restoration, so you'll have to find the rare one who does to talk to about it. (And unfortunately just because a nurse or receptionist says that a doctor can advise you about foreskin restoration does not mean that is actually true, so it seems like you need to insist first to ask the doctor personally whether s/he will be capable of advising about it before you seek--and pay for--a consultation about it.)
One major advantage of foreskin restoration (and foreskin generally) is that because it increases sensitivity, it drastically reduces the pressure that you need to feel adequately sexually stimulated to enjoy sex fully. It will let you feel sex with more nerve endings. Appreciating a lighter touch is useful because high friction sex and especially masturbation can definitely accelerate penis desensitization.