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Old 11-22-2003, 06:06 AM   #1
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hannuhsinthedark HB User
Question not the first 'same sex relation'

Hey Everyone....

I am not quite sure how to word this.. because its not really a problem.. its just im looking for advice and maybe a lil support..
I have a friend.. ill call her C-W... well ive known this CW for about a couple years but weve gotten closer as best friends since september this year.. and recently.. about a couple weeks ago.. we both sort ove confessed that maybe we like eachother more then a friend.. and since then, nothing has really evolved. Now. this wouldnt be the first 'same sex relation' ive had... but its the first one that was ever based on mentality first, rather then simply... sexual relations... well. the same week ove this confession, we hung out and did the norm. i slept over her house.. and we watched tv. end to that rendez vous. well. after the weekend.. i wrote in our book(((( we share a journal and write to eachother in it)))) that i was a lil dissapointed that nothing actually happened and it was later discussed that we both didnt do anything, because we didnt know what the other wanted. but now we both know what we both want.so.. i guess my main 'problem' is where we go from here.. because i dont know.. ((((FYI: im sixteen yr. old female..))) Im sleeping over her house tonight, i just dont know how to go about things.. i guess its easier for me with a guy.. because thats what its always been... but ' i cant fight this feeling anymore '

Anything will help.

 
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Old 11-22-2003, 05:21 PM   #2
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Baby_hands HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Let me tell you something about 'feelings'. You can fight the feelings, its a question of self-control.
Feelings are very decietful and temporary, you definately should not make choices because of the way you feel.
Do feelings last? No, they all come to an end, and so will any decision you make based on the way you feel.
Your only 16, your hormones are goin wild and crazy and I think these close feelings you feel for your friend are simply what they are, close feelings. Not SEXUAL. Most girls have a female friend they feel particularly close to, and mistake it for lust. But thats just your hormones talking.

The reason you dont know how to go about these things is because it isnt a natural act. Man with woman is whats natural.
Think about it, 2 women need a plastic penis to have sex, whats natural about that?
My advice is to just be friends with this girl, and let maturity get you where your meant to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hannuhsinthedark
Hey Everyone....

I am not quite sure how to word this.. because its not really a problem.. its just im looking for advice and maybe a lil support..
I have a friend.. ill call her C-W... well ive known this CW for about a couple years but weve gotten closer as best friends since september this year.. and recently.. about a couple weeks ago.. we both sort ove confessed that maybe we like eachother more then a friend.. and since then, nothing has really evolved. Now. this wouldnt be the first 'same sex relation' ive had... but its the first one that was ever based on mentality first, rather then simply... sexual relations... well. the same week ove this confession, we hung out and did the norm. i slept over her house.. and we watched tv. end to that rendez vous. well. after the weekend.. i wrote in our book(((( we share a journal and write to eachother in it)))) that i was a lil dissapointed that nothing actually happened and it was later discussed that we both didnt do anything, because we didnt know what the other wanted. but now we both know what we both want.so.. i guess my main 'problem' is where we go from here.. because i dont know.. ((((FYI: im sixteen yr. old female..))) Im sleeping over her house tonight, i just dont know how to go about things.. i guess its easier for me with a guy.. because thats what its always been... but ' i cant fight this feeling anymore '

Anything will help.
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Old 11-24-2003, 10:29 PM   #3
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VeganLady HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Geez baby hands, I don't think you were very helpful! I'm pretty confident (from reading your other post) that you are thinking of all those Christian concepts. Some people (including myself) are not set strictly on male\female relationships. Telling people to repress these feelings is doing nothing but giving therapist and psychologist more patients.

Hannuh, I'm sorry that no one else has replied to you. Your issue may have already been resolved, but I figured I post anyway. It's obvious what you and CW want. It's a lot easier to just have sexual relationships (I actually advise against purely sexual relationships, however). When you actually care about someone, things become more complicated. It sounds like you already have a good relationship. You shouldn't rush into the whole sexual thing. Take things slow and make sure you're both okay with everything. Make sure you'll both be comfortable if you decide later to just be friends. Don't listen to people that try to put you down, because having feelings for the same sex is perfectly natural, and I'm sure you probably already know that.

Sorry I couldn't offer more advice. Lots of luck to you and your friend (or girlfriend.)
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Old 11-25-2003, 05:39 AM   #4
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lovely.lady HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Ok well what I'm thinking is if you're planning on having a relationship then you shouldn't be spending the night with each other. I don't know how old you are, but if you're living with your parents and they don't know you're having a relationship with this girl and they let you sleep over at her house or vice versa, that isn't really fair... because I'm sure if you had a boyfriend they wouldn't let him spend the night, correct? If you're planning on having a more-than-friendship thing going on you're going to have to change some things. Just my opinion.

 
Old 11-25-2003, 04:26 PM   #5
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LiveYourDreams HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

I agree with VeganLady...just take things slow and talk about what you both want...Don't do anything you're uncomfortable doing. Good luck

 
Old 11-29-2003, 02:36 PM   #6
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Snagglepuss HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

oh my gosh you are in the EXACT same predicament that me and my friend are in. we both confessed, not sure what to do, not my first same sex relationship but the first one not acted on jus bc of sex, bla bla and were even the same age. looks like we have a lot in common but im sorry that i cant give u any help because im just as confused

 
Old 11-29-2003, 02:39 PM   #7
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Snagglepuss HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovely.lady
Ok well what I'm thinking is if you're planning on having a relationship then you shouldn't be spending the night with each other. I don't know how old you are, but if you're living with your parents and they don't know you're having a relationship with this girl and they let you sleep over at her house or vice versa, that isn't really fair... because I'm sure if you had a boyfriend they wouldn't let him spend the night, correct? If you're planning on having a more-than-friendship thing going on you're going to have to change some things. Just my opinion.

but face it... being a girl and having a girlfriend makes it that much better because she CAN stay the night. you kno that if your parents let you you'd have your boyfriend stay the night too... i kno i would

 
Old 11-30-2003, 10:05 AM   #8
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hannuhsinthedark HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snagglepuss
but face it... being a girl and having a girlfriend makes it that much better because she CAN stay the night. you kno that if your parents let you you'd have your boyfriend stay the night too... i kno i would
Yeah. But is it right to not be honest with my dad?? Should i tell him.. even though i dont even know what im doing.. or who i am..

((sm. update... since i posted this.. things have 'pursued'))
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Old 11-30-2003, 12:10 PM   #9
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LiveYourDreams HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Hmm. That's a tough one. If you feel comfortable about telling him, tell him. I wouldn't tell my dad, but that's just me. Keep in mind that if you do tell him, you might not get to be alone with your friend or anything.

 
Old 12-01-2003, 10:11 AM   #10
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lovely.lady HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snagglepuss
but face it... being a girl and having a girlfriend makes it that much better because she CAN stay the night. you kno that if your parents let you you'd have your boyfriend stay the night too... i kno i would
That's just not honest though. I mean if she was an adult that's one thing, but she still lives with her parents and I think it's kind of unfair that they are, in a sense, being tricked that way.

 
Old 12-02-2003, 05:41 AM   #11
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myoreiki HB User
Re: not the first 'same sex relation'

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovely.lady
Ok well what I'm thinking is if you're planning on having a relationship then you shouldn't be spending the night with each other. I don't know how old you are, but if you're living with your parents and they don't know you're having a relationship with this girl and they let you sleep over at her house or vice versa, that isn't really fair... because I'm sure if you had a boyfriend they wouldn't let him spend the night, correct? If you're planning on having a more-than-friendship thing going on you're going to have to change some things. Just my opinion.

I agree in principal with the idea that the parents would most likely not allow a boyfriend to stay, but on the other hand, what you have inadvertently suggested is that they sneak around and have what they can, where they can, as if it were a boy she was with. I think that parents need to be in tune with their kids, and lets face it, if you are going to smoke, you will do it even if told not to, and if you are going to have sex, the same thing applies.

In fact, the moer you are told not to, the more you are likely to, whatever it is!

 
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