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Old 11-28-2003, 12:29 AM   #1
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kballer HB User
traumatized from small penis

i've had sex once in my entire life and ever since then i have been traumatized. i am now 22 but at that time i was 17 years old and my girlfriend was 18. i was dating her for around 4 months and i finally initiated sex. i really liked this girl but i was whipped because she was a year older then me. well, we finally go to it and at the time i thought it was great. but the next day she called me and broke up with me. i was really heart broken and demanded an answer on why she broke up with me. basically, she told me that my penis was too small and i couldnt please her. i couldnt believe it! i was so embarrassed and i haven't gotten intimate with a girl ever since. 5 whole years! i think at the time i was very innocent and didnt even think about my penis size but i just wanted to please her. after that i realized that i do have a small penis, about 4.5 inches and no girth. girls seem to think that i am good looking and i get hit on by girls a lot more then most of my friends and i always get asked, 'why dont you have a girlfriend?' but i always come up with some excuse. it really killing me. did any of you guys experience this problem and know how to deal with it? i feel like i'm never going to have sex again! PLEASE HELP!

 
Old 11-28-2003, 04:07 AM   #2
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Re: traumatized from small penis

Hey bud, I worried about the same thing when I was your age (just over 5.5 inches) and didn't take the risk of being intimate for fear of the size issue and some other confidence things. I was a virgin until I married at 34 and although it was my choice and I'm glad I waited, I took alot of crap for it. Here's how I see it now though. Your penis is a part of you, it doesn't define you as a person and certainly shouldn't prevent you from being intimate or having a sexual relationship with someone. This girl in HS was so far out of line and you're still giving her the power to control you with that comment. If girls are hitting on you....take the hit and the risk, I bet you'll find that girls your age are much more mature and willing to see you for who you are, not the equipment you have. What matters most is does it work, and I assume that for you it does. So, forget it bud and take the risk, you'll be glad you did. If any girl doesn't want you for the size of your penis...she's not worth having anyway. I hope other guys respond as well, you're not alone in this, we've all wondered at one time. Another tip...size doesn't matter when you know how to use it and you focus on pleasing here. Most vaginas are only pleasureable for the first 2 - 3 inches anyway...so you're all set! Please don't give your penis size another thought...it is what it is so don't deny yourself the greatest pleasure in life because some _____ made that stupid comment.

 
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Old 11-28-2003, 10:30 AM   #3
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Re: traumatized from small penis

I agree with Lance2, I'm 6" and if any gal would say I was too small, I'd say adios, she wasn't interested in me but my penis. if you know how to use your penis you can satisfy any women. Just raise your chin and go out and find yourself a wonderful woman!!
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Old 11-28-2003, 12:55 PM   #4
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Darkfur HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

Hello. I'm a 30-year old virgin with a 4.5 inch penis. I've always avoided relationships due to this, and the fact I have only one smaller-than-average, somewhat-hidden testicle. No girl has ever seen me and no negative comments were ever made. I've just never felt like a man, and managed to tear myself down without any help.

Yes, we are shorter than average, but by what? One inch? That isn't terrible. Besides, those first couple inches of the vagina are indeed the sensitive part. Girls obsessed with size are usually those who've had many partners, craving the mental stimulation of a larger penis. Some girls cannot orgasm from thrusting alone, no matter the size. Girth helps but isn't the end-all of performance either. (The average girth is 5 inches, which I thankfully have.) Women have said they'd rather have a man with no penis than no tongue. Says a lot, doesn't it?

It took a long time for me to realize I have enough penis to please a woman. You do too. Don't let one bad comment ruin your life. Do not deny yourself love and sex! Women love the man, not his penis. I've learned from this site that women can be understanding about this issue, so much so they don't even see it as an issue!

Honestly, I can't wait to try sex. Guys here say "it's not the size, but how you use it", which makes me wonder: how many ways can you use it? Hrmph. I imagine my first few times I'll be plowing aimlessly, enjoying the sensations. If she evaluates my skills based on my inexperience she is being unfair. And if she leaves me because of that, I'm probably better off without her.

I'm finally trying to find someone. Please do the same.

 
Old 11-28-2003, 04:19 PM   #5
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sansman10 HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

I come in at the 5.5 - 6" range too, and yes I was told one time that I had a small penis after a sexual encounter. I was too small for that ONE girl, not all the girls out there, and like Lance said, that 18 yo was way out of line. Bear in mind, just as us guys will razz each other about girls our buddies get with, the girls do the same thing. So for her to keep up with her g/f's bragging about the horse-hung dude they may or may not have hooked up with, she has to keep up with the joneses. Fact is, the first 2-3 inches of a womans vagina is the most sensitive; it is also the same region you will find her g-spot on the upper wall. Now the trick is to rev her engine good with oral and digital (finger) stimulation. MOst girls will be ready for penetration and size won't make a difference, and they will certainly be more mature about the sex with you than the 18 yo, just don't cut yourself off from the world. Get out there and mingle brother, you will find a good one, they are out there. Don't keep giving that twinkie the power to hurt you.

 
Old 11-28-2003, 07:00 PM   #6
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jamesk HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

about the first post. could not of said it better myself. very well put. kballer listin to this dude . anyhow if a girl loves you enough a penis size wont matter.but as fare as sex goes the more you do the better you will be no matter what the size is. good luck

 
Old 11-29-2003, 03:03 PM   #7
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Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

4.5" is actually at the border line between small and average, and it should be of a size that can please most women. My guess is that 18 y/o girl found something else to dislike about you and used the penis size as a cruel excuse to dump you. While some women like larger ones, not too many will dump you over a 4.5" penis if they otherwise like you. A problem guys like you have, who are sexually inexperienced, is that without experience you won't be able to learn "how to use it". In other words, you need to have sex in order to learn how to best use what you have and, lacking that experience, girls may say that not only are you small, but you also don't know how to use it. If you knew how to use it, they probably would not have any major complaints. What I am tryiing to say is that you need to get over the fear of your size and start dating and getting some experience. I think you will find most women won't care, and you can even tell them ahead of time that you are a little on low end of average and are not all that experienced, thus giving them some idea of what to expect. Doing this, they will be more apt to forgive any PE problems or lack of good oral skills and will be more willing to offer valuable advice. Women generally want to be helpful and caring, so take advantage of this.

 
Old 11-29-2003, 10:13 PM   #8
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ilaugh@myself.why HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

what do you mean by "No girth."

you gotta have *some* girth..

 
Old 11-29-2003, 10:52 PM   #9
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kballer HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

thanks for all the replies guys. i actually feel a little bit better knowing that some people know what i am going through and that i am not alone. i read all of encouraging posts but don't know when i will be brave enough to not care. hopefully its soon though.
Lance2, you said that you were a virgin until you were 34 and you got married. did you stay a virgin all those years because you also had a fear of this the whole time or did you just want to stay a virgin until you got married?
and ilaugh, my girth is only 4 inches. darkfur posted that average girth is 5 inches.
thanks for the replies, really appreciate it.

 
Old 11-30-2003, 04:33 AM   #10
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Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

Lance2, you said that you were a virgin until you were 34 and you got married. did you stay a virgin all those years because you also had a fear of this the whole time or did you just want to stay a virgin until you got married?

Hey bud, I was always lacking in self confidence. Fear of sexual intimacy certainly contributed to this, and I didn't feel that I "measured up" but I chose to remain a virgin because of my religious and moral beliefs. I know that many people don't understand this and I've been "bashed" on this board because of it, however for me it was the best choice and I have NO regrets.

 
Old 11-30-2003, 07:37 AM   #11
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Re: traumatized from small penis

As a woman, with enough age and experience on her to know what is really important in the long run, let me give a suggestion.

For a man (of any penis size) to have really good sex, he has to first be able to give really good sex to a woman. If you can learn to build up your confidence in the giving area, you'll find out in the long run that your penis size isn't generally an issue (though it can be at times, no denying that, but not all women are so shallow, just as some men aren't shallow about breasts or other female body parts).

Start doing a lot of reading about how to pleasure a woman. Read books for women about giving themselves orgasms (yes, we don't always know how). Learn learn learn.

Practicing is a bit harder. But start dating again, and when it comes time to be intimate, try to give the woman pleasure before your pants even come down. If you have spent the last hour kissing her neck and breasts, and belly, and touching this and that, and all the rest, she's going to be happy.

 
Old 11-30-2003, 06:11 PM   #12
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Angel77 HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

Hey guyz, hope ya don't mind a girls point of view. If somone is that shallow they aren't worth it. There is more to sex than the act itself. I know plenty of guys hung like a horse (in fact my husband is large, and honestly, sometimes it hurts) and they have issues too.
No one should be as cruel as to say something like that. There's a lot of ways around the insecurity. So many men are only concerned about their end result that they forget about the woman. How about honing the forplay skills?
I can understand why you feel self-conscious but that's going to stand in the way of you finding the girl you want to be with and wants to be with you. I think too much emphasis is put on the size and not the act itself or the person involved. Take heart that not all women are as cruel, shallow and insensitive as the one you dated. Hell maybe she had been around the block a few too many times and a mack truck would feel small???...lol Don't mean to be cruel but it's hard to see someone miss out on love because someone was a toad.
Hope it helps. If you're half as nice as you sound, you will make some woman very happy. Keep looking and you will find her.

 
Old 11-30-2003, 09:36 PM   #13
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ilaugh@myself.why HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

Quote:
Originally Posted by kballer
and ilaugh, my girth is only 4 inches. darkfur posted that average girth is 5 inches.
thanks for the replies, really appreciate it.
well.
i'm 6 to 6.5 inches long.. my girth changes from about 4.5 inches to 5 inches.. so that's a what? half an inch, inch difference.. i doubt many women could even tell the difference..

i'm an adult 19 year old.. i've been with two women sexually.. neither complained. ever. even after breaking up.

that grl was straight-up just trying to put you down. f'real.

Last edited by ilaugh@myself.why; 11-30-2003 at 09:36 PM.

 
Old 12-02-2003, 12:27 AM   #14
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kballer HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

again, thanks for the replies everyone, especially annielee and sleepymisfit. advice and encouragement coming from a woman on this topic means a lot to me right now.
i just wanted to know what people honestly thought of this problem. i just finished reading some of the posts from 'penis size' and i guess most women don't care about the size. hopefully i could put this issue behind me but think it will take some time. and hopefully this time i won't fall in love with a girl who's vagina is 9 inches deep, 'cause that would probably be very bad for the both of us.

 
Old 12-02-2003, 08:00 AM   #15
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sikandar_bg HB User
Re: traumatized from small penis

kballer,
just dont give it a thought, I am just 5 inches myself. Find a girl who has brains and does not evaluate men in terms of their penis size. There are plenty of them, you just have to take the chance. So go ahead and enjoy life, and if any one tells you that you are small, they can go **** themselves.
sikandar

Last edited by sikandar_bg; 12-02-2003 at 08:00 AM.

 
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