Hi, I dunno quite what to do... I was having problems and I got checked out... for STD's and i'll get the tests back in a couple days...i told my b/f they THINK i might have chlamyidia..... my b/f in the past has been with 16 girls including me...and has had unprotected sex with 4 including myself....... i want him to go get checked... but he swears on his first born childs life he doesnt have anything... i told him he could have ANYTHING and not know it....and he says he knows for a fact he doesnt have anything cause he asked um i told him that didnt mean crap cause they could of been lying.... anyways... I told him even if everything came back clean on my side.... i wanted him to get tested..... cause i was told that he might still carry something and not get it the first time you have unprotected sex.....he doesnt want to get tested cause he says he doesnt have health insurance and teen clinics wont take him cause he's to old... around here anyways they take you tell your 21... he's 20. i cant convince him of that... and he lives in a different town then me..and said if he went he wants to go to the same one i went to and have me go with him cause he's scared of those kinda places....but the thing is..is he cant drive he has no way to get here..... when that was bought up i said i wont ever have sex with you again unless...you get tested....and he then said he can live without it as long as i loved him..... and then told him ... if he truely loved me.....he'd go checked.... i finally got him to say he'd go.... but he wants me to go with find ways for him to get here.... make the appointment.... and find a way to get him home.... i love him but is fare to make me do what he should be doing?
Personally he should be the one to make the appointment and make the arrangements to get to and from there. It isnt that hard to do especially at his age,he should be more than willing to do this for himself so he can know for sure if he is clean or not. Doesnt seem very mature to me on his part. He is an adult and should know how to take care of himself and that includes making sure he is healthy.
Now in some cases I can see the partner making appointments for one's partner but that normally tends to occur in those that are living together or married. I happen to make many of dh's appointments simply because he doesnt have the time(one has to call at certains times to get seen in a timely manner on military base).
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
I totally agree that he could have something and not know it, and should be taking more responsibility, but he sounds a little immature and chicken, but at least he says he's willing to go if you do all the work. (Unless this is just a trick to make it so hard for you that you will give up and let him get away with not being tested because YOU failed.)
But if you're willing to put up with it, give it your best shot at getting him to the clinic, and if it doesn't work, stick to your guns and DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM until he gets tested.
I think doing all that for him (giving him a ride, making an appointment) is a small price to pay for your peace of mind and safety. Immature of him YES.....but if he won't do it....someone's gotta....
All respomses have great advice in them. I think the only thing I would add is about going with him. You shouldn't have to, but I think it's the only way you'll know for sure he went and get the results from the horses mouth not secondhand from someone who didn't want to go in the first place. Should he be taking on the responsibility, damn straight. For your own well being it is worth it to make sure he doesn't "get lost on the way."